Message no. 1

From:	Jai Tao <jdfalk@****.COM>
Subject:	Just a kick in the pants...
Date:	Wed, 25 May 1994 01:39:04 -0400

I'm only a few weeks away from my first two submissions, but I've
been hoping to see what kind of things other people put in. Since there
hasn't been a friggin' _thing_ except for my rough draft of a small part
of the Federal DeeCee write-up, here's a reminder of what this list is
good for (taken from Shadowbeat, reprinted without permission.)

NERPS! NERPS FOR BLISTERS. NERPS FOR HEADACHES. NERPS FOR WARTS. NERPS
FOR SLUGS. NERPS FOR PAINKILLING. NERPS FOR FIREPOWER. NERPS FOR
LESIONS. NERPS FOR THE SOUL. NERPS FOR BEER. NERPS FOR PRESIDENT.
NERPS FOR SKEET SHOOTING. NERPS FOR HYPNOTISING. NERPS FOR SEX. NERPS
FOR FOOD. NERPS FOR FOOTBALL. NERPS FOR A DATE. NERPS FOR A WIFE.
NERPS FOR OLLIE LIPSLIDES. NERPS FOR FLAT TIRES. NERPS FOR PUBERTY.
NERPS FOR A JOKE. NERPS FOR PRIMUS! NERPS FOR ELVES. NERPS FOR ME.
NERPS FOR YOU. NERPS FOR LUNG CANCER. NERPS FOR SHOES. NERPS FOR MEN.
NERPS FOR A TAN. NERPS FOR PERKS. NERPS FOR JERKS. NERPS FOR GAS.
NERPS FOR STYLE. NERPS FOR SWELLING. NERPS FOR JELLY. NERPS FOR
MOISTURE. NERPS FOR PMS. NERPS FOR OOZING. NERPS FOR SCOLIOSIS. NERPS
FOR THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE. BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, NERPS!
1 OUT OF EVERY 16,000,000,000 DOCTORS SURVEYED RECOMMEND IT!