| From: | Dan Weber <DFYDUK@*******.NET> |
|---|---|
| Subject: | Fw: OT: MacDonnell Douglas Questionaire... |
| Date: | Wed, 18 Mar 1998 00:35:30 PST |
hilarious and hoped y'all'd think the same. GridSec, be gentle with the =
rubber hoses if this a no-no. Thanks X)
----------
> Date: Tuesday, March 17, 1998 23:30:21
> From: James Lindsay
> To: Shadowrun List
> Subject: OT: MacDonnell Douglas Questionaire...
>
> This was actually posted very briefly on the McDonnell Douglas website =
by
> an employee there who obviously has a sense of humor. The company, of
> course, does not - and made the web department take it down immediately=
.
> (In case you don't know: McDonnell Douglas is one of the world's chief
> suppliers of military aircraft).
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
> Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. =
In
> order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill=
out
> the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions =
is
> not required, but the information will help us to develop new products =
that
> best meet your needs and desires.
>
> 1. [_] Mr. [_] Mrs. [_] Ms. [_] Miss [_] Lt.
> [_] Gen. [_] Comrade [_] Classified [_] Other
> First Name: ......................................................
> Initial: ........
> Last Name: ......................................................
> Password: .............................. (max 8 char)
> Code Name: ......................................................
> Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ........... ........... ..........
>
> 2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?
> [_] F-14 Tomcat
> [_] F-15 Eagle
> [_] F-16 Falcon
> [_] F-117A Stealth
> [_] Classified
>
> 3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day): 19....... / ....... / .....=
.
>
> 4. Serial Number: ...............................................=
.
>
> 5. Please check where this product was purchased:
> [_] Received as gift / aid package
> [_] Catalog showroom
> [_] Independent arms broker
> [_] Mail order
> [_] Discount store
> [_] Government surplus
> [_] Classified
>
> 6. Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas
> product you have just purchased:
> [_] Heard loud noise, looked up
> [_] Store display
> [_] Espionage
> [_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally
> [_] Political lobbying by manufacturer
> [_] Was attacked by one
>
> 7. Please check the three (3) factors that most influenced
> your decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas
> product:
> [_] Style / appearance
> [_] Speed / maneuverability
> [_] Price / value
> [_] Comfort / convenience
> [_] Kickback / bribe
> [_] Recommended by salesperson
> [_] McDonnell Douglas reputation
> [_] Advanced Weapons Systems
> [_] Backroom politics
> [_] Negative experience opposing one in combat
>
> 8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be
> used:
> [_] North America
> [_] Central / South America
> [_] Aircraft carrier
> [_] Europe
> [_] Middle East
> [_] Africa
> [_] Asia / Far East
> [_] Misc. Third World countries
> [_] Classified
>
> 9. Please check the products that you currently own or intend
> to purchase in the near future:
> [_] Color TV
> [_] VCR
> [_] ICBM
> [_] Killer Satellite
> [_] CD Player
> [_] Air-to-Air Missiles
> [_] Space Shuttle
> [_] Home Computer
> [_] Nuclear Weapon
>
> 10. How would you describe yourself or your organization?
> (Check all that apply:)
> [_] Communist / Socialist
> [_] Terrorist
> [_] Crazed
> [_] Neutral
> [_] Democratic
> [_] Dictatorship
> [_] Corrupt
> [_] Primitive / Tribal
>
> 11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
> [_] Deficit spending
> [_] Cash
> [_] Suitcases of cocaine
> [_] Oil revenues
> [_] Personal check
> [_] Credit card
> [_] Ransom money
> [_] Traveler's check
>
> 12. Your occupation:
> [_] Homemaker
> [_] Sales / marketing
> [_] Revolutionary
> [_] Clerical
> [_] Mercenary
> [_] Tyrant
> [_] Middle management
> [_] Eccentric billionaire
> [_] Defense Minister / General
> [_] Retired
> [_] Student
>
> 13. To help us understand our customers' lifestyles, please
> indicate the interests and activities in which you and
> your spouse enjoy participating on a regular basis:
> [_] Golf
> [_] Boating / sailing
> [_] Sabotage
> [_] Running / jogging
> [_] Propaganda / disinformation
> [_] Destabilization / overthrow
> [_] Default on loans
> [_] Gardening
> [_] Crafts
> [_] Black market / smuggling
> [_] Collectibles / collections
> [_] Watching sports on TV
> [_] Wines
> [_] Interrogation / torture
> [_] Household pets
> [_] Crushing rebellions
> [_] Espionage / reconnaissance
> [_] Fashion clothing
> [_] Border disputes
> [_] Mutually Assured Destruction
>
> Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answ=
ers
> will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve =
you
> better in the future - as well as allowing you to receive mailings and
> special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups, and
> mysterious consortia.
>
> Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes?
>
> Please write to:
> MCDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION
> Marketing Department
> Military Aerospace Division
>
>
>
>
>
>
> James W. Lindsay Vancouver, British Columbia
> "http://www.prosperoimaging.com/ground_zero";
> ICQ: 7521644 (Sharkey)
>
> Mano au mano, the "Professor"
> would kick MacGyver's ass.
