Back to the main page

Mailing List Logs for ShadowRN

Message no. 1
From: James Dening james@************.force9.co.uk
Subject: Delurk..... (was Re: The beginning of my story)
Date: Thu, 29 Jul 1999 09:46:51 +0100
>> "Because," she calmly replied, "he and I were inside the Renraku
>>Arcology when it was shutdown and we remained there until the situation
>>inside was resolved. There is one section that I believe you would be
>>extremely interested in publishing. It came about a year after the
>>Arcology shut down. I can transfer the files to you, if you want to
>>read all about it..." Her voice trailed off.
>(Tay-Dor's right. At this stage it's too dangerous to say "until the
>situation inside was resolved". If you leave it vague so that it's
>possible they stayed in until it all finished or that they got out
>while it was going on, you SHOULD be all right).

<Delurk> Well, how about:

"Because," she calmly replied, "he and I were inside the Renraku
Arcology right up until....well, you know the rest, don't you?"

or
"Because," she calmly replied, "he and I were inside the Renraku
Arcology right up until....well...*it* happened."

That way, it keeps the reader in suspense, and allows for a definite
end to the Arc. situation, *OR* a bug city apocalypse scenario.

James.

<\Delurk>
Message no. 2
From: Rand Ratinac docwagon101@*****.com
Subject: Delurk..... (was Re: The beginning of my story)
Date: Thu, 29 Jul 1999 20:52:01 -0700 (PDT)
> <Delurk> Well, how about:
>
> "Because," she calmly replied, "he and I were inside the Renraku
Arcology right up until....well, you know the rest, don't you?"
>
> or
> "Because," she calmly replied, "he and I were inside the Renraku
Arcology right up until....well...*it* happened."
>
> That way, it keeps the reader in suspense, and allows for a definite
end to the Arc. situation, *OR* a bug city apocalypse scenario.
>
> James.
>
> <\Delurk>

Still could be problematic, in the "Bug City" situation - how would
they have gotten out if the reactors went up?

Why not just this:

"Because," she calmly replied, "he and I were inside the Renraku
Arcology."

If you pause there, Strago, that's dramatic enough in and of itself,
and you don't have to explain how they got out - if there's a happy
resolution, they got out then. If not, they escaped earlier.
==Doc'
(aka Mr. Freaky Big, Super-Dynamic Troll of Tomorrow)

.sig Sauer
_____________________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Free instant messaging and more at http://messenger.yahoo.com
Message no. 3
From: Scott Wheelock iscottw@*****.nb.ca
Subject: Delurk..... (was Re: The beginning of my story)
Date: Fri, 30 Jul 1999 00:54:44 -0300
"And now, a Channel 6 editorial reply to Rand Ratinac."
] Still could be problematic, in the "Bug City" situation - how would
] they have gotten out if the reactors went up?
]
] Why not just this:
]
] "Because," she calmly replied, "he and I were inside the Renraku
] Arcology."

Ooooh...that's good...I'd go with this, Strago. Subtle, but
effective.

-Murder of One
Message no. 4
From: Rand Ratinac docwagon101@*****.com
Subject: Delurk..... (was Re: The beginning of my story)
Date: Thu, 29 Jul 1999 21:37:41 -0700 (PDT)
> ] Still could be problematic, in the "Bug City" situation - how would
they have gotten out if the reactors went up?
> ]
> ] Why not just this:
> ]
> ] "Because," she calmly replied, "he and I were inside the Renraku
Arcology."
>
> Ooooh...that's good...I'd go with this, Strago. Subtle, but
effective.
>
> -Murder of One

That's the idea. Remember, we're dealing with people with whom the arc
is BIG news. Look at it from the publisher's point of view...sitting
there, minding his own business, being condescending to this woman -
then she springs the fact that she was "in the arc" on him. He keeps
going for a second before it hits him - she was in the arc! And you'd
better believe he knows what she's talking about. Hoo! Big news! Scoop
time!

That kind of thing. :)
==Doc'
(aka Mr. Freaky Big, Super-Dynamic Troll of Tomorrow)

.sig Sauer
_____________________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Free instant messaging and more at http://messenger.yahoo.com
Message no. 5
From: James Dening james@************.force9.co.uk
Subject: Delurk..... (was Re: The beginning of my story)
Date: Thu, 29 Jul 1999 09:46:51 +0100
>> "Because," she calmly replied, "he and I were inside the Renraku
>>Arcology when it was shutdown and we remained there until the situation
>>inside was resolved. There is one section that I believe you would be
>>extremely interested in publishing. It came about a year after the
>>Arcology shut down. I can transfer the files to you, if you want to
>>read all about it..." Her voice trailed off.
>(Tay-Dor's right. At this stage it's too dangerous to say "until the
>situation inside was resolved". If you leave it vague so that it's
>possible they stayed in until it all finished or that they got out
>while it was going on, you SHOULD be all right).

<Delurk> Well, how about:

"Because," she calmly replied, "he and I were inside the Renraku
Arcology right up until....well, you know the rest, don't you?"

or
"Because," she calmly replied, "he and I were inside the Renraku
Arcology right up until....well...*it* happened."

That way, it keeps the reader in suspense, and allows for a definite
end to the Arc. situation, *OR* a bug city apocalypse scenario.

James.

<\Delurk>
Message no. 6
From: Rand Ratinac docwagon101@*****.com
Subject: Delurk..... (was Re: The beginning of my story)
Date: Thu, 29 Jul 1999 20:52:01 -0700 (PDT)
> <Delurk> Well, how about:
>
> "Because," she calmly replied, "he and I were inside the Renraku
Arcology right up until....well, you know the rest, don't you?"
>
> or
> "Because," she calmly replied, "he and I were inside the Renraku
Arcology right up until....well...*it* happened."
>
> That way, it keeps the reader in suspense, and allows for a definite
end to the Arc. situation, *OR* a bug city apocalypse scenario.
>
> James.
>
> <\Delurk>

Still could be problematic, in the "Bug City" situation - how would
they have gotten out if the reactors went up?

Why not just this:

"Because," she calmly replied, "he and I were inside the Renraku
Arcology."

If you pause there, Strago, that's dramatic enough in and of itself,
and you don't have to explain how they got out - if there's a happy
resolution, they got out then. If not, they escaped earlier.
==Doc'
(aka Mr. Freaky Big, Super-Dynamic Troll of Tomorrow)

.sig Sauer
_____________________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Free instant messaging and more at http://messenger.yahoo.com
Message no. 7
From: Scott Wheelock iscottw@*****.nb.ca
Subject: Delurk..... (was Re: The beginning of my story)
Date: Fri, 30 Jul 1999 00:54:44 -0300
"And now, a Channel 6 editorial reply to Rand Ratinac."
] Still could be problematic, in the "Bug City" situation - how would
] they have gotten out if the reactors went up?
]
] Why not just this:
]
] "Because," she calmly replied, "he and I were inside the Renraku
] Arcology."

Ooooh...that's good...I'd go with this, Strago. Subtle, but
effective.

-Murder of One
Message no. 8
From: Rand Ratinac docwagon101@*****.com
Subject: Delurk..... (was Re: The beginning of my story)
Date: Thu, 29 Jul 1999 21:37:41 -0700 (PDT)
> ] Still could be problematic, in the "Bug City" situation - how would
they have gotten out if the reactors went up?
> ]
> ] Why not just this:
> ]
> ] "Because," she calmly replied, "he and I were inside the Renraku
Arcology."
>
> Ooooh...that's good...I'd go with this, Strago. Subtle, but
effective.
>
> -Murder of One

That's the idea. Remember, we're dealing with people with whom the arc
is BIG news. Look at it from the publisher's point of view...sitting
there, minding his own business, being condescending to this woman -
then she springs the fact that she was "in the arc" on him. He keeps
going for a second before it hits him - she was in the arc! And you'd
better believe he knows what she's talking about. Hoo! Big news! Scoop
time!

That kind of thing. :)
==Doc'
(aka Mr. Freaky Big, Super-Dynamic Troll of Tomorrow)

.sig Sauer
_____________________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Free instant messaging and more at http://messenger.yahoo.com

Further Reading

If you enjoyed reading about Delurk..... (was Re: The beginning of my story), you may also be interested in:

Disclaimer

These messages were posted a long time ago on a mailing list far, far away. The copyright to their contents probably lies with the original authors of the individual messages, but since they were published in an electronic forum that anyone could subscribe to, and the logs were available to subscribers and most likely non-subscribers as well, it's felt that re-publishing them here is a kind of public service.