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From:	Anissa Rodriguez anissamr@*****.com
Subject:	Opinions. please?
Date:	Thu, 24 Aug 2000 11:38:57 -0700 (PDT)

Message no. 1 Back in July, I wrote an idea for a story, but I,
being prone to doing before reading, put it on the
wrong mail list. The follwing is what I wrote:
>"Here is an idea that I have been batting around for
a >book for some time now and I would like to know if
it >would be possible, or is it too far fetched.

>It takes place in Denver, first of all. The plot
>consists of an NPC Otaku of mine that gets kidknapped
>from his home in the Sioux Sector and taken across to
>the Aztland Sector where someone wishes to do
research >on him in order find out how he can connect
to the >matrix without a deck.

>The team has to go in and get him out before he gets
>moved to a secure location.

>Any thoughts, ideas, constructive criticism (sp?)."
>Anissa

I thank those who responded to my message before and
since then have come up with deaper twists. Tell me
what you think, now.
The sane idea as above, but the Azzies tracked him
down because he hacked into their system and
"borrowed" (;-)) some valuable paydata (something
having to do with genetics). They found out, during
their course of tracking him down, that he was Otaku
and living in the private sector. In the story
itself, the person whom the corp hired, has ideas of
his own as to how he wants to handle the
Otaku(Jazzman)(He, too works for the Azzies and is
trying to get brownie points.).

Opinions are always welcome.
Anissa

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From:	Ratinac, Rand (NSW) RRatinac@*****.redcross.org.au
Subject:	Opinions. please?
Date:	Fri, 25 Aug 2000 09:59:08 +1000

Message no. 2 > I thank those who responded to my message before and
> since then have come up with deaper twists. Tell me
> what you think, now.
> The sane idea as above, but the Azzies tracked him
> down because he hacked into their system and
> "borrowed" (;-)) some valuable paydata (something
> having to do with genetics). They found out, during
> their course of tracking him down, that he was Otaku
> and living in the private sector. In the story
> itself, the person whom the corp hired, has ideas of
> his own as to how he wants to handle the
> Otaku(Jazzman)(He, too works for the Azzies and is
> trying to get brownie points.).
>
> Opinions are always welcome.
> Anissa

Well, it certainly has potential, but I'm not sure what you're asking for.
If you want an opinion of the idea, then, like I said, it has potential. It
all depends on what you actually DO with it, of course, as to how good it'll
be. :) If you want constructive criticism, then you haven't given us much to
work with. At this stage I'd say elaborate. A lot. It's easier to see the
holes in a plot if you're not generalising. :)

Doc'

From:	Anissa Rodriguez anissamr@*****.com
Subject:	Opinions Please.
Date:	Tue, 29 Aug 2000 11:34:43 -0700 (PDT)

Message no. 3 I'm sorry about the generalization. In an effort to
narrow it down some, here is some more of the story.

The characters:
Jazzman (Otaku/male,aparently)
Ragingbear (shapeshifter/streetsam/male)
--Jazzman's bodyguard and friend
Ravenwng (female/Apache/smuggler)
Banshee (female/elven/decker)
Sleepingwolf (female/Adept/streetsam)
Hardwire (male/Troll/merc)
Zapps (male/human/mage)
Boneweaver (female/bearshaman/streetdoc)
Chavez (Corp officer for Aztland)
Jose (sarariman who sees this as an opportunity to go
up in the ranks.)

The begining starts with Jazzman in his apartment
doing a datasteal with Ragingbear(John for a shorter
name) doing the body guard thing. While in the
matrix, Jazzman encounters a corp decker and two black
ice when he locates the paydata. This decker pays
close attention to the fact that there is no lag time
when he calls up a program (can a decker realize this?
If not, then I have to come up with another way trace
Jazzman.) Jazzman is able to get away only to be
abducted from his apartment a week later by a Jaguar
squad from Aztland. During the struggle, John is able
to rip a patch off the one of the abductors for use as
a clue when he comes to.

Is this narrowing it down some more? Would it be
better if I just put on chapter at a time on the list
for critiquing(sp)? :-)
Anissa

P.S. This is my first shot at somethin like this.

__________________________________________________
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From:	CEvans9159@*.com CEvans9159@*.com
Subject:	Opinions Please.
Date:	Tue, 29 Aug 2000 15:36:30 EDT

Message no. 4 In a message dated 8/29/00 11:08:25 AM, anissamr@*****.com writes:

<< Is this narrowing it down some more? Would it be
better if I just put on chapter at a time on the list
for critiquing(sp)? :-) >>

Yes...just start writing it. :)

From:	tonto@******.com tonto@******.com
Subject:	Opinions Please.
Date:	Tue, 29 Aug 2000 23:49:39 GMT

Message no. 5 <snip>
> The begining starts with Jazzman in his apartment
> doing a datasteal with Ragingbear(John for a shorter
> name) doing the body guard thing.

Erm, his apartment is prolly a bad place to be doing a datasteal from. If he's
supposed to be highly professional then I think he'd look at finding somewhere
else to hack from. If he's overconfident by nature, and has a high level of
skill, then he might use his own home as a jackpoint...

> While in the
> matrix, Jazzman encounters a corp decker and two black
> ice when he locates the paydata. This decker pays
> close attention to the fact that there is no lag time
> when he calls up a program (can a decker realize this?

I imagine there would be difference between an Otaku and a normal decker.
Perhaps it'd be picked up during the trace, as bandwidth usage would not be
consistent with convential deckers... Unless they have already dealt with and
studied Otaku, they probably won't know what Jazzman is.

> If not, then I have to come up with another way trace
> Jazzman.) Jazzman is able to get away only to be
> abducted from his apartment a week later by a Jaguar
> squad from Aztland. During the struggle, John is able
> to rip a patch off the one of the abductors for use as
> a clue when he comes to.

If the squad is operating outside it's sector then it'll be in covert mode, and
won't be carrying valid ID or wearing identifable markings. Depending on the
nature of the clue, it's still a valid way to go about it.

> Would it be
> better if I just put on chapter at a time on the list
> for critiquing(sp)? :-)
> Anissa

It doesn't actually matter much if there's little things like doing a datasteal
from home and stuff like that in the story. When writing you don't have to
stick with Cannon Rules or Concepts, esp. if it makes it a better story. Just
write it, and have fun doing so.

-Travis (El
Tonto)

From:	Ratinac, Rand (NSW) RRatinac@*****.redcross.org.au
Subject:	Opinions Please.
Date:	Wed, 30 Aug 2000 12:14:39 +1000

Message no. 6 > The begining starts with Jazzman in his apartment doing a datasteal with
Ragingbear(John for a shorter name) doing the body guard thing. While in
the matrix, Jazzman encounters a corp decker and two black ice when he
locates the paydata. This decker pays close attention to the fact that
there is no lag time when he calls up a program (can a decker realize this?
If not, then I have to come up with another way trace Jazzman.)

I don't know about the lag time. From what I recall, the easiest way to
notice that a decker is otaku is to watch their icon. They can do stuff that
other deckers can't, make their icons change in ways unrelated to the
utilities they're using.

> Jazzman is able to get away only to be abducted from his apartment a week
later by a Jaguar squad from Aztland. During the struggle, John is able to
rip a patch off the one of the abductors for use as a clue when he comes to.
>
> Is this narrowing it down some more? Would it be better if I just put on
chapter at a time on the list for critiquing(sp)? :-)
> Anissa
>
> P.S. This is my first shot at somethin like this.

The more detail we have, the easier it is to critique and the more valuable
the feedback you end up with. I can think of two main options here. 1. If
you have (or intend to do) a detailed, chapter by chapter outline, we can
critique that. I've done it before and it helps to pick up on large flaws.
2. Yes, you could just post the story as you write it. The only (potential)
problem with that is that you end up having to make lots of changes to what
you've already done, sometimes significant ones. It's just a bit more work.

Doc'

From:	Anissa Mathias mrstallboy@*********.com
Subject:	Opinions Please
Date:	Tue, 10 Oct 2000 20:42:43 -0300

Message no. 7 This is a multi-part message in MIME format.

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I'm sorry it took so long for me to type up the first chapter here. We've
had a lot going on around here lately.

The Unnamed book
Chapter 1
All critics welcome...

July 20, 2061

"Let's see what we can find here," Michael asked himself as he sat
down at his desk to perform a task that he was "comissioned" for. "This
would be worth while for half the cred." He put one end of the cable into
the port in the wall and the other end into one of his datajacks behind his
right ear. He found himself in room that he had created for himself and
openned a virtual closet. There were the replicas of two personas "hanging"
there. One was of a security officer, the other was of a saxophone player,
and, in an instant, he became jazzman. He stepped out of his "room" and
into the world of the matrix. He found himself walking along a sidewalk in
a virtual metroplex. The cars that were travelling to and fro were the data
streams, and the amorphous silver bodies that walked along the sidewalk were
standard personas. He tipped his fedora to one side and turned up the
collar of his pin-striped jacket as he made his way to the Aztec pyramid
that was known to be the main node for Aztechnology.

He looked upon the steps and saw two jaguars guarding the entrance.
He surmised, by adjusting his hat, that they were Barrier and Access IC.
Null Sheen. He thought to himself as he swung his sax around and started to
give the IC a pass code in the form of a lullaby. The jaguars responded by
lying down and taking a nap. He walked up to the front door and let himself
in. He looked around and noticed that the inside was a maze of hallways and
offices. He spun his fedora around and it took the semblance of a hood and
melded with his jacket to turn it into a longcoat. He stood in the main
lobby and hammered out a short tune on his sax. The notes became
substantial and floated through the hallways scanning each and every door
for the paydata that he was sent to retrieve. One note led him to the
records room of the CPU and stopped in front of a file cabinet drawer. He
quickly tapped out a few notes on the sax and found out that the file was
laced with scramble IC and trapped with trace and dump. He stood there for
a split second and flipped his sax in the air. Upon landing in his hand, it
had changed into a hammer, chisel, and a block of marble. He began to
chisel out an exact likeness of himself and equipped it with a few tricks of
his own. When he was finished, it activated and Michael hid himself behind
another file cabinet. The image took out a lock-pick kit and commenced to
defeating the scramble IC. After the IC dissipated, the trace and dump, in
the form of a jaguar, leaped out at the image. The fake Jazzman ran off,
leading it on a wild chase. Jazzman, himself, went back to finding the
file. He thumbed through the files and found one labeled "TOP SECRET! HIGH
LEVEL CLEARANCE ONLY!" He quickly scanned it and downloaded the file into
his headwear memory and turned to leave. As soon as he turned around, he
saw three figures in the form of Aztec warriors. I'm in hot drek now! He
quickly switched from cloak to armor and called up a "bodyguard" sprite
which fought along side him. He spun his sax into two tommy guns and began
to fire. He caught the first one in the leg, but the second one had taken a
swipe at him and cut his left shoulder. His sprite wasn't fairing much
better. The black IC that it was pitted against had hit it and left a gash
in the front of it. Jazzman dispatched the first warriors, but the second
was proving to be too much. His sprite had struck home on the third but had
taken extensive damage. He recalled it and split himself into three
facsimilies of himself. I've got to dupe this one and get my hoop out of
here. The two facsimiles left forward and began to strike at the IC in
hopes that it would take the bait. Wiz. He thought to himself as turned to
run out of the CPU and back home. When he was sure that he was not
followed, he entered his "room" and repaired his persona as well as his
sprite. He then jacked out, looked at his friend and uttered, "I'm beat.
That was a tough one. Take me home, please." His friend nodded in approval
and took his chummer home.

In the main pyramid, in the heart of Aztland, a gentleman of
considerable power sits behind a desk of oak and listens to the latest
security breech over the telecom.
"We don't know who he was, sir. The countermeasures activated to
follow his trail, they all came up with deadends."
"That is unacceptable. Someone must know who and where he lives.
No one is untraceable! Do what you have to, find him! He has stolen
something too valuable to dismiss!" He slams the phone down and turns his
chair to get a better view out his window. He is about to go out for a bite
to eat when his telecom beeps again.
"Yes."
"Sir, One of the matrix security personnel that worked on the night
in question is on the line." He leaned back in his chair.
"Put him on then." There was a series of clicks and, "Hello, sir.
This is Chad Espinosa."
"Son, as I understand it, you were working security that night,
correct?"
"Yes, sir." The nervousness was seeping through the com wire.
"Can you tell me anything about who this person was that you came
across?"
"I don't know for certain who he was, but I can tell you that he was
like no other decker that I had come across before."
"Oh?" The man leaned closer to the telecom. "Tell me more. Come to
my office in two hours."
"Yes, sir."

At a diner in a run down part of the Sioux Sector in Denver, Michael
sat at a booth and patiently waited on the person who had hired him for the
run. He scanned everyone that came in the door and saw no sign of the
Johnson. He ordered breakfast and started to eat. Halfway through the
meal, he received a tap on his shoulder. Michael spun around to find his
Johnson standing behind him. He motioned for his employer to sit and the
parley started.
"Were you able to get the package?"
"Null sheen, but I will have to up the fee by a small percentage."
"Oh? This means that you had a little more trouble than you're
letting on?"
"Let's just say that I needed to exact some repairs that might
require some extra compensation."
"You got it."
"I will need to see the package first. Can you meet me at a more
secure location in two hours so that I might look it over?"
"Yeah, where and when?" The Johnson slid a small piece of paper on
Michael's direction and left the diner. Shortly after, Michael stood up to
leave and staggered a little. Oh, frag. That ice hit me harder than I
thought. I'm going to have to call Boneweaver and see if she can help me
out.

.......Tell what you think so far... That's the 1st chapter..

Anissa

'

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------=_NextPart_000_0000_01C032FA.A3FF3C40--

From:	Simon and Fiona sfuller@******.com.au
Subject:	Opinions Please
Date:	Wed, 11 Oct 2000 17:00:31 +1000

Message no. 8 -----Original Message-----
From: Anissa Mathias <mrstallboy@*********.com>
To: srfanfic@*********.com <srfanfic@*********.com>
Date: Wednesday, October 11, 2000 10:48 AM
Subject: Re:Opinions Please

I enjoyed the descriptive style, although at times it seemed to me a little
bit overdescriptive, like explaining which shoulder was hit. It flowed well
and was a pretty good description of the matrix. Another slight fault was
the switching of tense from past to present in the Aztech scene. I would
also like a better picture of the characters involved (something I never
remember to do when I write :?) ), but I'm sure that will come in later
chapters.
Good job, I look forward to the rest of the story.

From:	CEvans9159@*.com CEvans9159@*.com
Subject:	Opinions Please
Date:	Wed, 11 Oct 2000 03:58:04 EDT

Message no. 9 In a message dated 10/10/00 11:58:14 PM, sfuller@******.com.au writes:

<< I enjoyed the descriptive style, although at times it seemed to me a little

bit overdescriptive, >>

heh...I thought some of it wasn't descriptive enough. I thought the fught
scene was too sparce. Seemed to jump from here to there.

From:	Rat winterhawk@*********.net
Subject:	Opinions Please
Date:	Wed, 11 Oct 2000 15:17:05 -0700

Message no. 10 From: "Anissa Mathias" <mrstallboy@*********.com>

>
> I'm sorry it took so long for me to type up the first chapter here. We've
> had a lot going on around here lately.
>
> The Unnamed book
> Chapter 1
> All critics welcome...

Nice images of the Matrix. I liked the "Jazzman" imagery.

I think this has promise, although I'd tweak a few things:

1. That second paragraph was a killer! It wasn't easy wading
through that much verbiage in a single paragraph. The run is
supposed to be quick and choppy--make your paragraph style
match (or at least break it up some).

2. Try to vary your sentence structure. As I was reading through
I got the impression of "He did this. He did this. Then he did
this. Something happened. He did this." I think the scene would
play a lot snappier if the structure was more varied.

3. Never put two characters' dialog on the same line:

> "Put him on then." There was a series of clicks and, "Hello, sir.
> This is Chad Espinosa."

should be:

"Put him on then."

There was a series of clicks and, "Hello, sir. This is Chad
Espinosa."

4. As Simon pointed out, don't change tense in the middle of
the story. It's jarring.

As I said, you have some really nice imagery here. Play with
it. Don't be in a hurry to finish.

Hope this helps,
--Rat

=>=>=>=>=>=>=>=>=>=>=>=>=>=>=>=>=>=>=>=>=>=>=>=>=>=>=>=>=>=>=>=>
Rat - winterhawk@*********.net http://www.magespace.net
Winterhawk's Virtual Magespace - Shadowrun Fiction and More!
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thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats."
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From:	Ratinac, Rand (NSW) RRatinac@*****.redcross.org.au
Subject:	Opinions Please
Date:	Mon, 23 Oct 2000 17:31:16 +1000

Message no. 11 First things first - do you want any proofing done, or have you already got
someone to take care of that?

> He found himself in room that he had created for himself and openned
a virtual closet. There were the replicas of two personas "hanging" there.
One was of a security officer, the other was of a saxophone player, and, in
an instant, he became jazzman.

Okay, I'm quite sure that this technically isn't possible, even for Otaku,
but it's your story, so who cares? :)

> He looked upon the steps and saw two jaguars guarding the entrance.
He surmised, by adjusting his hat, that they were Barrier and Access IC.

If I'm not mistaken, Access IC doesn't exist in SR anymore. Again, as above
- if that doesn't worry you, no need to change it.

> extensive damage. He recalled it and split himself into three facsimilies
of himself. I've got to dupe this one and

Whoops - as above again. Don't think mirrors exists anymore, but...

> followed, he entered his "room" and repaired his persona as well as his
sprite.

Don't know if you can do that according to the rules, but (broken record
again) that doesn't mean you have to change it. :)

> In the main pyramid, in the heart of Aztland, a

Aztlan. :)

Okay, now I want to comment on what the others have said so far...

<Simon>
> I enjoyed the descriptive style, although at times it seemed to me a
little bit overdescriptive, like explaining which shoulder was hit.

I wouldn't say overdescriptive for the most part, although some is.

> Another slight fault was the switching of tense from past to present in
the Aztech scene.

Definitely.

<Taydor>
> heh...I thought some of it wasn't descriptive enough. I thought the fught
scene was too sparce. Seemed to jump from here to there.

Exactly. See, here's the thing. When you're writing, you want to focus on
the IMPORTANT things. Set priorities. You paid (to my mind) more attention
than was necessary to the original intrusion and theft, and not enough to
the fight. Sure, the theft is more important, but it's the fight that's
exciting and that the average reader will want to read about. If you want to
concentrate on the theft, then make the scene more interesting. Jazzman
seemed to just wander in without a care in the world (into what should,
apparently, have been a terribly secure area, going from the exec's reaction
to the theft). Make it tense, make it sneaky, have our hearts pounding in
our chests. That'll help a lot.

<'Rat>
> 1. That second paragraph was a killer! It wasn't easy wading through that
much verbiage in a single paragraph. The run is supposed to be quick and
choppy--make your paragraph style match (or at least break it up some).

Right. As it was it was a simple in-and-out until the ice arrived. For
something that simple, you shouldn't pay so much attention to the details.

> 2. Try to vary your sentence structure. As I was reading through I got the
impression of "He did this. He did this. Then he did this. Something
happened. He did this." I think the scene would play a lot snappier if the
structure was more varied.

Bingo.

> 3. Never put two characters' dialog on the same line:

Most definitely.

> As I said, you have some really nice imagery here. Play with it. Don't be
in a hurry to finish.

Hell, yes.

Look, Anissa, when you're writing a story, more is (generally) better. If I
was writing this, your first chapter would have become three chapters, all
between 3 and 4k words, approximately (Chapter 1, the theft, Chapter 2, the
Aztech reaction, Chapter 3, the meet). Admittedly, I'm rather wordy with my
chapters (although not as much as some), but the point still stands.

Here's a good rule of thumb - if it's important, write more. If it's not,
write less. And choose your wording and structure carefully. You can always
make something seem more interesting by, as 'Rat pointed out, varying
sentence structure. Using evocative words can also achieve the same goal -
just don't go overboard with that one. Dialogue is also good for spicing up
writing.

Ummm...I'm sure there are other tips I can give, but I can't think of any
off the top of my head. Essentially, you've got an interesting plot and a
good start. You really should consider fleshing it out, though.

Oh, one last thing. Try to get it flowing a bit better. Sentence structure
is a big part of that, but you can have varied sentence structure without
having good flow. There are a lot of authors who achieve that goal well.
David Eddings is one (he also relies a lot on dialogue, you'll notice), as
is Mike Stackpole (on the whole I wouldn't go looking for good flow in SR
fiction - there are some good writers there, but only a few GREAT writers -
Stackpole, Findley and Kenson's Talon stories spring to mind). I'd also
suggest checking 'Rat's page if you can. She does a lot of what I'm talking
about. I'm going to sound immodest here, but you might also want to check
out some of my writing (which can be found in the archives here and on the
Shadowrun Writer's Forum on 'Rat's page). Just to get an idea of two
different kinds of styles which (so I've been told :) ) work. 'Rat is more
traditional 'booky', mine is kinda like theatre. 'Rat's is a fairly constant
narrative, with occasional glosses (over the less-important details) and
focusing (on the important stuff). I, on the other hand, generally work
using 'scenes' - I pick an important episode/event and build a scene around
it, then jump to the next episode.

So far, your work strikes me more like 'Rat's, so if you want, you can
ignore me completely (I won't be hurt - honest :) ), but have a look at
hers. She's doing a lot of what you should probably try to do and she does
it well.

Okay, pomposity over. Encouragement time. Good start, Anissa, just needs a
bit of polishing. :)

Doc'

From:	Anissa Mathias anissamr@*****.com
Subject:	Opinions please
Date:	Mon, 23 Oct 2000 05:17:07 -0700 (PDT)

Message no. 12 Thanks for your advice. When we finally get all the
way moved into our house, I'll revise the first
chapter and repost it. That chapter came to me while
I was at work. It was an on-the-fly-idea.

I had thought about putting more description.I had
also given thought to opening each chapter with a sort
Mickey Spilane-Mike Hammer intro, but I didn't think
that type of intro would fly...

You know...
The date, July 20, 2061. The time 03:00, place a run
down hotel in the CAS Sector of Denver,
The scene, a young man in his mid twenties shrugs out
of his jacket as he sits down on a rickety wooden
crate to perform what should be a routine data steal.
He moves a lock of his dark blonde hair at the base of
his skull in order to insert one end of a data cable
there.

His friend, a human Amerindian in his late twenties,
adjusts his red bandana and sits across from him on
the floor. He watches as his friend makes the
necessary preparations.

I didn't know if anyone would like it that way.
Anissa

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From:	Anissa Mathias anissamr@*****.com
Subject:	Opinions please
Date:	Mon, 23 Oct 2000 05:49:12 -0700 (PDT)

Message no. 13 Thanks for your advice, everyone. When we finally get
all the way moved into our house, I'll revise the
first chapter and repost it. That chapter came to me
while I was at work. It was an on-the-fly-idea.

I had thought about putting more description.I had
also given thought to opening each chapter with a sort
Mickey Spilane-Mike Hammer intro, but I didn't think
that type of intro would fly...

You know, something like the following...

The date, July 20, 2061. The time 03:00, place a run
down hotel in the CAS Sector of Denver.

The Scene, a young man in his mid twenties shrugs out
of his jacket as he sits down on a rickety wooden
crate to perform what should be a routine data steal.
He appears to be around six feet, three inches tall,
and at least twenty pounds under average weight for
someone of his height.

His friend, an Amerindian in his late twenties, is
just the opposite. His six-foot-six frame, supports
close to four hundred pounds of sheer muscle as he
paces the room. Ragingbear looks around the room with
his chocolate brown eyes. A solitary light hangs from
the ceiling casting shadows througout the room. Other
than the crate his friend is sitting on, there are no
other seats in the place. The kitchenette has only one
burner, and it seems to be broken. The bathroom makes
a constant flushing sound.

Michael moves a lock of his dark blonde hair from the
base of his skull in order to insert one end of a data
cable there. His sapphire eyes glass over as he jacks
himself into the matrix.

This is the way I wanted to start it, but I didn't
think anyone would go for it. I kind of like this
sort of intro myself.
Anissa

P.S. Rat, I haven't found anyone to edit for me, if
you could help me, I'd really appreciate it.

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From:	CEvans9159@*.com CEvans9159@*.com
Subject:	Opinions please
Date:	Mon, 23 Oct 2000 15:17:32 EDT

Message no. 14 In a message dated 10/23/00 5:17:32 AM, anissamr@*****.com writes:

<< I had thought about putting more description.I had
also given thought to opening each chapter with a sort
Mickey Spilane-Mike Hammer intro, but I didn't think
that type of intro would fly...

<snip>

I didn't know if anyone would like it that way.
Anissa
>>

I think it would work...especially if you give the decker a reality
filter centering around that genre.

From:	Anissa Mathias anissamr@*****.com
Subject:	Opinions please
Date:	Mon, 23 Oct 2000 13:14:27 -0700 (PDT)

Message no. 15 --- CEvans9159@***.com wrote:
>
> In a message dated 10/23/00 5:17:32 AM,
> anissamr@*****.com writes:
>
> << I had thought about putting more description.I
> had
> also given thought to opening each chapter with a
> sort
> Mickey Spilane-Mike Hammer intro, but I didn't think
> that type of intro would fly...
>
> <snip>
>
> I didn't know if anyone would like it that way.
> Anissa
> >>
>
> I think it would work...especially if you give
> the decker a reality
> filter centering around that genre.
>
>

Thanx for the input. One question though. Do Otaku
have reality filters? I haven't had time to read the
Matrix book yet. I don't think they do, but I'm not
sure.

Anissa

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From:	Ratinac, Rand (NSW) RRatinac@*****.redcross.org.au
Subject:	Opinions please
Date:	Tue, 24 Oct 2000 09:42:44 +1000

Message no. 16 > Thanks for your advice. When we finally get all the way moved into our
house, I'll revise the first chapter and repost it. That chapter came to me
while I was at work. It was an on-the-fly-idea.
>
> I had thought about putting more description.I had also given thought to
opening each chapter with a sort Mickey Spilane-Mike Hammer intro, but I
didn't think that type of intro would fly...
<snipt!(TM)>

Uh...I know *I* wouldn't...but then, there's a lot I don't like.

I'm a fussy eater, too. ;)

Doc'

From:	Ratinac, Rand (NSW) RRatinac@*****.redcross.org.au
Subject:	Opinions please
Date:	Tue, 24 Oct 2000 10:01:08 +1000

Message no. 17 > Thanx for the input. One question though. Do Otaku have reality filters?
I haven't had time to read the Matrix book yet. I don't think they do, but
I'm not sure.

Not as of VR2, but I don't own the new Matrix book yet (horrors!).

You might want to try to get in touch with the author/s of The Matrix (I
don't know who did the writing, but many of the current crop of FASA writers
are easily accessible via email). They could probably give you a definitive
answer on just what it is that the otaku can do to their perceptions of the
Matrix.

Doc'

From:	CEvans9159@*.com CEvans9159@*.com
Subject:	Opinions please
Date:	Tue, 24 Oct 2000 03:56:23 EDT

Message no. 18 In a message dated 10/23/00 4:45:08 PM, RRatinac@*****.redcross.org.au writes:

<< > Thanx for the input. One question though. Do Otaku have reality
filters?

I haven't had time to read the Matrix book yet. I don't think they do, but

I'm not sure.

Not as of VR2, but I don't own the new Matrix book yet (horrors!).

You might want to try to get in touch with the author/s of The Matrix (I

don't know who did the writing, but many of the current crop of FASA writers

are easily accessible via email). They could probably give you a definitive

answer on just what it is that the otaku can do to their perceptions of the

Matrix.

>>

hehehe...I haven't read any rules about Otaku...nor did I remember or realize
that the character in the story was an Otaku.

Tay-Dor

From:	Florian Schaetz (Irian) iryan@********.de
Subject:	Opinions please
Date:	Tue, 24 Oct 2000 10:31:40 +0200

Message no. 19 > << > Thanx for the input. One question though. Do Otaku have reality
> filters?
>
> I haven't had time to read the Matrix book yet. I don't think they
do, but
>
> I'm not sure.
> Not as of VR2, but I don't own the new Matrix book yet (horrors!).
> You might want to try to get in touch with the author/s of The Matrix
(I
>

No, they haven't. The now can initiate, like mages, and get special
abilities, but they can't get any form of reality-filters. Think about
it: Would a shaman want do use a reality filter on his totem's
metaplane? :-) No, so Otaku want to see the Matrix as-it-is... But I
guess, they always see their own variant of it.

Irian

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