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Message no. 1
From: srfanfic@*********.com (srfanfic@*********.com)
Subject: Untitled
Date: Sun Aug 11 16:10:01 2002
I'd like feedback and title suggestions. Thanks!

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I should have known better, I suppose. Maybe it was because I was
tired, or because I'd just come off a job and my defenses weren't focused
the way they should have been. Or maybe I was just supposed to be there.
Anyways.
I was driving through Tacoma with the windows down. My car at the time
was a Jackrabbit nearly as old as I am. As such, pretty much the only
thing that worked on it was the engine and the windows. The latter by
hand. It was one of those rare sunny and hot days in Seattle, and I had
the window rolled down. I don't really understand why most people insist
on having their vehicle sealed so tightly. It's not like window glass is
going to stop a rifle round.
Her name was Amy and she came around the car at a stop sign and leaned
into the window with a rather forced smile. I noticed immediately that
she'd had several bruises along her arms and shoulders. I could also
tell from her rather scantily clad body that she was making a living as a
prostitute. Normally, I'd turn away someone like this, but something in
her eyes caught my attention. It was a hopelessness that touched that
place within me that had been cold since my parents died.
"Looking for a good time?" She asked in a soft, almost timid voice.
"What's your name?" I asked, my eyes examining her face. She was an
elf, with sea blue eyes and shoulder length blonde hair. Her face was
dirty, probably as a result of standing outside every day all day.
"Amy." She leaned forward a bit, practically sticking her head in the
car.
"Well Amy, get in." I told her. She'd probably selected me because I
was an elf myself.
She hurried around the front of the car and climbed in the passenger
side. I put the car in gear and turned to the right, heading home. "How
much?" I asked her, glancing over to see her smoothing her miniskirt.
"100 nuyen an hour." She smiled again at me, and I found her smile to
be rather appealing.
"How about for the rest of the day?" I glanced into my rearview to
notice that a car had fallen in behind me as Amy climbed in.
"A grand."
"Sounds reasonable." I replied, turning into the parking lot of the
apartment building where I was living. "I'll give it to you when we get
to my place. I don't normally carry that kind of money on me."
"Sure." She agreed, adjusting the hem of her miniskirt. "But I don't
do put out until I get paid."
It had already occured to me that I was possibly being set up. I'd find
out soon enough if that was the case. I glided the car into my marked
space and killed the engine. I looked over at her as the engine died.
She looked back and just for a moment, I could see that same hopelessness
in her eyes. She banished it with a smile, which I was sure was forced;
and I climbed out of the car.
"It's this way." I guided her toward the stairs with my left hand on
the small of her back. Her skin was surprisingly warm to the touch and
softer than I would have expected.
We walked up the two flights of steps to my rented apartment and I
opened the door for her. She stepped into the apartment and looked
around. "You live alone?" She asked as I closed the door and locked it.
"Yes." I replied, shrugging off my armored jacket.
Her eyes settled on the Predator that I had in my shoulder holster.
"Can I get you something to eat?" I asked, stepping over into the
kitchen.
"Sure." I heard her footsteps as she walked across the room. "Where's
the bathroom? I'd like to freshen up."
"End of the hall on the right." I directed her, pulling a couple of
frozen dinners out of the freezer. Thre was the soft thud up her high
heeled shoes hitting the floor then the softer padding of her footsteps
down the hall.
I mulled over the situation as the dinners cooked and finally decided to
see what happened. If it was a trap of some kind, it would prove to be
very expensive for whoever set it. She emerged from the bathroom as the
nuker beeped for attention. She'd taken the time to wash her face and
arms. I noticed that her skin was very fair and almost glowed. "How
about something to eat before business?" I asked, removing the two meals
from the nuker and setting them on the nearby table.
"All right." She hesistated briefly then came over and sat down.
I took the opposite chair and propped my elbows on the table, with my
chin resting on the back of my hands, to watch as she wolfed down the
meal. I slid the one in front of me over to her. "Go ahead." I urged
her when she gave me a questioning look. "I had a big lunch."
She smiled at me again, and it made her entire face seem to glow.
"Thanks." She wolfed that one down as well.
"When was the last time you ate?" I asked curiously as she finished up.
"Two days ago," she replied.
"Does your pimp do this to you?"
She looked at me in surprise and blinked. "Do what?"
"Keep you hungry." My tone of voice hardened involuntarily. "And are
those bruises the result of his handywork?"
She crossed her arms over her chest, clutching her shoulders tightly.
Her eyes fell to the tabletop as she blushed. I got up and walked over
around the table. I gently touched the tip of her ear with my finger,
feeling her flinch slightly. "He beats you, doesn't he?"
"Yes." She broke down into tears.
A sudden pounding on the door snapped my attention away from her. "I
know she's in there. Open up!" The heavy handed pounding continued.
"It's my pimp." Amy stiffled her sobs with some effort. "You'd better
let him in."
"Let him break his way in." I declared ominously. Anyone who reduced
another person to this level deserved whatever I could give him.
"Please," she begged. "It'll only make it worse on me if you don't."
"All right." I went over and opened the door.
Her pimp stomped through the doorway, barely glancing at me. His first
mistake. If he'd bothered to look, he'd have known better. Or perhaps
not. He was a blocky human, probably had been a wrestler when he was
younger. I quietly closed the door as he stomped past me.
"Where's my money?" He grabbed her arm and jerked her to her feet.
"I'll get it for you." She tried to back away from him but he was
stronger than she was.
"I want it now." He backhanded her on the cheek. She gave an
involuntary cry of pain and something in my brain exploded. My hand went
to the holstered sidearm, the smartgun link smoothly joining me to the
gun. The gun came out of the holster.
The pimp shook her roughly then threw her into the table, sending her
tumbling to the floor. "Pay up or else."
"How about else?" I leveled the weapon at his torso and fired.
He was in the process of turning to me as the bullet slammed into his
chest, knocking him off his feet at such a close range. Two more rounds
entered his body before his corpse hit the floor.
A shocked look flooded her features and she began to shake. "What are
you?" She managed to get out, her eyes fixed on her now dead pimp.
"I'm an assassin, Amy." I put the gun away and went over and kneeled
next to her. She pressed her shaking fingers over her lips and leaned
away from me. "I'm not going to let anyone hurt you again." I told her,
looking into her eyes.
She began to cry again and I carefully gathered her into the circle of
my arms. I stroked her hair soothingly and held her close. By the time
she cried herself out, I'd already had a plan of action. I would take a
few phone calls and most of my reserve money but it would be worth it.
I'd need a shaman to clean the place up magically and someone to dispose
of the body. I'd been living here for a while, so the identification I'd
use to get the place was now worthless. My safehouse in Redmond would
suit us for a while and we'd have to drop out of sight for several weeks.
And so we did. We spent the next several weeks holed up in the small
apartment that was barely big enough for the both of us. We talked a
great deal during those weeks and I found out that she'd always been
treated badly by others. Apparently, I was the first person to be
around her for any length of time and treat her with gentleness and
respect. She'd stay with me as long as I'd let her.
I guess compassion sometimes grows into something more. But I'd finally
found a reason to live. This soft, warm woman in my arms had given me
back something I thought was gone forever. And I was going to see to it
that she had everything I could give her.

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Message no. 2
From: srfanfic@*********.com (Max Noel)
Subject: Untitled
Date: Mon Aug 12 04:15:01 2002
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At 16:08 11/08/2002 +0000, lightsenshi@****.com wrote:


> I'd like feedback and title suggestions. Thanks!

Well, it's a well written story, fun to read and all, but I feel
the end could have used more details. IMO the 3 last paragraphs or so are
half the length they should be. It wraps up too quickly, you could have
written, mmh... I'd say one more page for that.
Oh, and, my experience with pimps is exactly zero, but I fail to
see the point of coming to ask one of your prostitutes for money when she
is obviously with a client who is going to pay her (thus you) one thousand
nuyens? It's bad for business! I mean, all the falling-in-love aside, I
probably wouldn't want to fuck her (or anyone for that matter) anymore
after some bastard breaks into my flat and beats her up...
Aside from that, very good job.


-- Wild_Cat

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