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Mailing List Logs for ShadowRN

From: Dane Jensen <djensen@*********.COM>
Subject: 24 More Hours in Cyberspace
Date: Mon, 21 Apr 1997 12:32:59 -0700
Is it me, or is forward only used for forwarding stuff like this?


>I read this in the New York Metro Computer User, it was so funny i had to
>type it up and send it to all of you. This means i do not deserve credit=
>it :)
>If you want to find this origional article and lots of other kewl stuff=
>the april issue of this in one of those kewl newspaper things (it's free) i
>got mine on the corner of Wall St and somewhere in Manhatten.
>"24 more hours in cyberspace
>Just 10 years ago, only researchers and a few others could waste time in
>cyberspace. Ordinary people were forced to use the television or radio to
>waste time. Some were even forced to spend time with their famlies and
>friends. It was horrible, but that has all changed as more and more people
>have gotten wired to the Net.
>People all over the world are now able to take advantage of the Internet to
>waste time in ways they did not even know existed 10 years ago. It is truly
>a revolution.
>On November 20, 1996, we sent writers all over the world to examine this
>revolution and to record the events of one day in cyberspace. It really
>seemed like a good idea at the time but there was just one problem. The
>writers ended up wasteing all their time, and no one even bothered sending
>us any copy. Instead, we were forced to just make a bunch of stuff up
>***7:06 am***
>Excited, 57-year-old Bob Snyder of Austin, Texas, turns on his computer.
>Today is the day he will finally figure out the internet.
>Somewhere deep within the vast cliché that is cyberspace, 11,657
>get-rich-quick messages cross paths with 9,885 make-money-fast messages and
>13,498 chain letter bearing good fortune. Meanwhile, the vitally important
>message Dr. James T. Cochran of NASA sent is counterpart at the Russian
>Space Agency is irrertievably lost.
>Bob Snyder is dismayed when after following all the directions exactly, he
>is unable to connect to the internet. He calls his Internet provider,
>WiseNet and is placed on hold.
>A man from WiseNet technical support talks to Bob Snyder and discovers what
>the problem was. Bob had mistakenly entered for the IP address
>when he should have entered Feeling relieved yet just a tad
>embarrassed at his newbie mistake, Bob gets ready again to surf the net.
>Teri Hughs of Columbus, Ohio, discovers "Plump", the coolest new webzine.
>"Plump" is full of witty and informative articles and uses Java, real-life
>audio, Crescendo background music and Shockspace. She can't wait to read
it all.
>Bob Snyder still cannot make it onto the internet. The Technicians at
>WiseNet suggest that he change his modem iniation code from AT&F1&M0_@#$%=
>Teri Hughs' 28.8 modem is just abiout to finish downloading this weeks=
>of "Plump" when the modem disconnects.
>Bob Snyder's modem finally works, but this time he gets a busy signal. He
>calls up tech support, and they tell him to try again in a few minutes.
>The Online Female Nymphomaniacs Club is forced to disband when it is
>discovered that 1,146 of its 1,147 members are actually men. The only woman
>in the club is Ida Barry, a 93-year-old great-grandmother from Abilene,
>Bob Snyder's modem is able to connect for 15 seconds before disconnecting.
>He calls tech support again. They are baffled. "Maybe it's a problem with
>your modem," one person suggests.
>While sitting in his father's den, 15-year-old Nate Reed of Vancouver,
>British Columbia, suddenly discoversthat right in his dad's computer he can
>actually look at pictures of completely naked women. It is the high point=
>his life so far.
>In San Jose, California, Crusade Internet, the company behind the hottest
>new data encryption software, holds the first meeting of it's board of
>directors. The founder of the company, Chairman of the board, and inventor
>of crusadenet software, Teddy Miller, age three, calls the meeting to=
>Teddy begins by announcing that they have to move quickly to update their
>software, because billy, his friend from daycare, is developing a radical
>new encryption package that could possibly threaten Crusade's market share
>in the future. Unfortunately, before any decisions can be reached, the
>meeting comes to an end when Teddy's mother announces it's nap time.
>In Richmondm Virginia, Sonny Ewing forms a brand new internet consulting=
>design firm. This is the 73rd Internet Consulting firm created today and=
>places the number of Internet consulting and design firms in the United
>states slightly ahead of the numbe rof Starbuck's coffee shops and only a
>few thousand behind the number of Blockbuster Video franchises.
>Bob Snyder enters the offices of WiseNet, takes out an AK-47 and demands
>that someone figure out how to connect him to "this whole stupid Internet
>thing" or else he will start shooting.
>Mildred Reed, mother of 15-year-old Nate Reed, announces that dinner is
>ready. Nate says, he'll "be right there" just as soon as he finishes the
>last question on his geometry homework.
>Bob Snyder starts shooting.
>Nate Reed arrives at the dinner table, claiming that "it was a really
>difficult question." Mildred Reed notices her son's flushed expression and
>worries that he might be coming down with something.
>A new episode of "The X-Files" begins, Internet usage drops by 37%. At the
>same time, James Dooligan send a message to alt.x-files.conspiracy claiming
>the the X-files is actually part of a CIA conspiracy. "the Governtment," he
>writes, "must be doing something between 9 and 10 O'clock that they don't
>want us to know about. We're all to busy watching The X-Files so they know
>they can get away with anything then.
>24-year-old Byron McCormack of Trenton, New Jersey, discovers that the
>19-year-old woman he has been cyberdating for the past year is not really a
>fashion model as she had claimed. Instead she is an ostrich. "Well, yeah,=
>was a shock." Byron says. "I mean i don't know what to do. I still care for
>her and all, but this whole different species thing is really confusing."
>Byron admits that there were some clues. "well, yeah, that naked picture=
>sent my looked a lot like the chick from Singled Out, but i just figured it
>was a coincidence. Plus, she was always going on and on about snad, but i
>figured fashion models can like sand too.
>"How was is supposed to know that meant she was an ostrich? Still, I guess
>it;s kinda cool. I mean, I didn't even know ostriches could type."

Is it me, or is forward only used for forwarding stuff like this?


Further Reading

If you enjoyed reading about 24 More Hours in Cyberspace, you may also be interested in:


These messages were posted a long time ago on a mailing list far, far away. The copyright to their contents probably lies with the original authors of the individual messages, but since they were published in an electronic forum that anyone could subscribe to, and the logs were available to subscribers and most likely non-subscribers as well, it's felt that re-publishing them here is a kind of public service.