| From: | The Deb Decker <RJR96326@****.UTULSA.EDU> |
|---|---|
| Subject: | 25 Player Types |
| Date: | Sun, 13 Feb 1994 23:07:15 -0600 |
assume you don't mind the following and the corresponding GM's list I'll
post next. Don't mind the <CR>s; they're carriage returns.
J Roberson
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THE 25 TYPES OF PLAYERS
by William Chase Bynum updated 4-25-89
By now, most gamers are familiar with the traditional four types of
players: The Real Man, The Real Roleplayer, The Loonie, and The Munchkin.
Obviously, the creation of the Four Types is meant to be a joke, as well
as a gross oversimplification, but even so, it's time we had a much more
detailed oversimplification. So here, without further ado, is the
Groening-style "FRP Is One of the Nine Hells" summary of:
THE TWENTY-FIVE TYPES OF FRP PLAYERS
1. The Real Man - "Hot Diggity!! Gnoll outpost at twelve o'clock!!
CHAAAAAAAARGE!!!"
2. The Real Roleplayer - "Don't start yet!! I need my two minutes to
get properly into character."
3. The Loonie - "I sheathe my longsword and kiss the ogre on the
lips."
4. The Munchkin - "Five arch-devils and two demigods? That's ALL?! I
guess I'll only need to use six of my rings for this encounter."
5. The Coward - "Yikes! Three kobolds!! Retreat! Retreat!"
6. The Troublemaker - "Just before the Mayor gives his speech to the
town, I cast `command - vomit' on him."
7. The Novice - "I just rolled a 2 on my `to hit' roll. Did I want
high or low?"
8. The Tactician - "The archer will move silently into position
behind the podium, carefully aiming at the sergeant. The mage will remain
behind the door in preparation of a `sleep' spell which will be centered
at the table around which are the bulk of the guards. Meanwhile, the
fighter and I . . ."
9. The Quiet Type - "I dunno . . . I lob off another arrow at the
monster this round, I guess."
10. The Punster - "You know how many clerics it takes to fix a light
bulb? One to cast `cure light'."
11. The PC Infighter - "Since Ruth's been such a twit, I hit her in
the face with my flail while she's casting her `find familiar' spell."
12. Joe I-Got-the-Rules-Down-Pat - "No, if you look in the DMG, page
87, paragraph 5, you'll find this spell won't affect griffons."
13. The Whiner - "Three points?! I take THREE POINTS OF DAMAGE!?!
Frank, what the hell kind of grudge do you have against me?"
14. The Bully - "Are you sure I don't make my saving throw? Are you
ABSOLUTELY sure? Do you want to keep your nose the way it is, Lou?"
15. Mr. Greedy - "So it's not evil? And it's not attacking? So what!
I WANT THAT XP!!!!"
16. The Cheater - "I roll an... 18! It hits!" [Quickly grabs dice.]
17. The Chastiser - "And you DIDN'T SEE THAT TRAP COMING?
Hahahahahaha!! Just how long did you say you've been playing this game?"
18. The Kamikaze Guy - "I jump off our perch, taking careful aim to
land dead center on the hobgoblin patrol. Just before I hit the ground,
though, I set off the `fire trap' on all my nine flasks of oil."
19. The Good Roller - "Oh, looky here. An 03 on percentile dice. If
that door was trapped, I just found something."
20. The Bad Roller - "Oh, damn it all!! *Another* critical fumble!!"
21. The Braggart - "The thought of you attacking me isn't even
interesting. I could get off a `sleep' spell and slit your unconscious
throat before you even get your longsword out of its sheath."
22. The Reminiscer - "Say, y'know, this is like the time our party
thief spent twenty minutes trying to lock-pick an unlocked door."
23. Goody Two-Shoes - "Wait a minute. Even if they are orcs, we just
can't kill them when they're asleep and can't defend themselves."
24. The Overoptimistic Daydreamer - "After we get through this
campaign, and have gained about nine, ten levels, I'm going to buy me the
finest battle axe +3 money can buy."
25. Short-Attention-Span Man - "Hmmm? What? Are we attacking now?"
