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Message no. 1
From: robertennew@*****.com.au (Robert Ennew)
Subject: carp wars
Date: Fri, 11 Oct 2002 14:09:17 +1000 (EST)
Now that I know, I'll be able to appreciate the
humour of It all. Will the archives go back as far as
90's? (I just thought they would have scrapped most
old posts to save space, I'm tempted to see the carp
wars, & work of Dr. Doom) (GZ)

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Message no. 2
From: Gurth@******.nl (Gurth)
Subject: carp wars
Date: Fri, 11 Oct 2002 11:25:23 +0200
According to Robert Ennew, on Fri, 11 Oct 2002 the word on the street was...

> Now that I know, I'll be able to appreciate the
> humour of It all. Will the archives go back as far as
> 90's? (I just thought they would have scrapped most
> old posts to save space, I'm tempted to see the carp
> wars, & work of Dr. Doom) (GZ)

Though I haven't looked at them much, AFAIK they did go back all the way a
few years ago. I'm not sure of the URL, but I'm sure Adam or Mark can
supply it :)

--
Gurth@******.nl - http://www.xs4all.nl/~gurth/index.html
I know all this and more
-> Probably NAGEE Editor * ShadowRN GridSec * Triangle Virtuoso <-
-> The Plastic Warriors Page: http://plastic.dumpshock.com <-

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Incubated into the First Church of the Sqooshy Ball, 21-05-1998
Message no. 3
From: loneeagle2061@*******.com (Lone Eagle)
Subject: carp wars
Date: Fri, 11 Oct 2002 10:57:46 +0000
>From: Gurth <Gurth@******.nl>
> > Now that I know, I'll be able to appreciate the
> > humour of It all. Will the archives go back as far as
> > 90's? (I just thought they would have scrapped most
> > old posts to save space, I'm tempted to see the carp
> > wars, & work of Dr. Doom) (GZ)
>
>Though I haven't looked at them much, AFAIK they did go back all the way a
>few years ago. I'm not sure of the URL, but I'm sure Adam or Mark can
>supply it :)

The ShadowRN archives on the front page of dumpshock go back through 1999
and then have two posts for 95 and two from 90 IIRC.

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Message no. 4
From: dam01@***.edu.au (Damion Milliken)
Subject: carp wars
Date: Sat, 12 Oct 2002 22:31:33 +1000
Robert Ennew writes:

> Now that I know, I'll be able to appreciate the humour of It all. Will the
> archives go back as far as 90's?

I don't believe that the current archives do. However, I do recall that the
old archives (and the older archives, and the oldest archives) are somewhere
around. Can anyone remember where?

> (I just thought they would have scrapped most old posts to save space, I'm
> tempted to see the carp wars, & work of Dr. Doom) (GZ)

Although I do not have an especially volumous dead smelly wet carp
collection (like some; I recall that Gurth has an entire folder of the
things from all through history), this is one of my favourites:

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-Date: Sat, 1 Apr 1995 23:58:39 -0600
From: Doctor Doom <jch8169@*******.TAMU.EDU>
Subject: The Sillymarillion
To: Multiple recipients of list SHADOWRN <SHADOWRN@***.SURFNET.NL>

Von dem Grossen Cornholio:

>Makeover is expressly used by the dreaded Ricki Lake/Tammy Fae Toxic Spirits
>to hideously deform people stupid enough to come on their shows. I had a
>group of runners once who... *ducks a flying carp*

Mike, TGC

Well ... hhhmmmmmmmm ... Star Wars ... Monty Python ... The Frantics ...

Apologies to the Master, J.R.R. Tolkien:

THE SILLYMARILLION
--- --------------

Now news came to (via the Internet) to America OnLine that a
mailserver was loosed, and that all manner of rules and interpretations
were debated upon ShadowRn, laying seriously discussive arms against
regulatory loopholes and abberant perspectives, and that the Munchkin
hordes had been driven from their lands. Then Nethicus, high Lord of
the Loonies beheld (as it seemed to him) the utter ruin of what was good
and bizarre and dispelling of the earlier slapstick tendencies of his
house; o'erwrought with dementia, he mounted upon Rochester his great
war-platypus and waddled forth alone, that none might restrain him (for
being beset with laughter, but 'tis aside the point). Thus he came alone
to the gates of the high Dark Tower Hlidskjalf, and he sounded his kazoo,
and battered upon the brazen doors, and challenged the grim lord to come
forth unto single combat. And Doom came.

That was the last time in those war that he passed the doors of his
stronghold, and it is said he took not the challenge willingly; for he had
projects to untertake, reports to compose and complete, research to pursue.
But he could not now deny the challenge before the faces of the list
participants; for the listserv@***** rang with the shrill music of Nethicus'
kazoo, and his raving voice, distorted and babbling (or was that his raving?)
came up to the heights of Hlidskalf; and Nethicus named Doom silly, and
began to speak upon pardoxical matters. Therefore Doom came, slowly from
his elevated throne, and the rumour of his feet was like thunder from the
heavens. And he issued forth clad in black armour; and he stood before the
Loonie Lord like a tower, iron-crowned, and his vast shield, sable un-blazoned,
cast a shadow over him like a stormcloud. But Nethicus' loud garments shown
eye-wrenchingly true beneath in the shade; for his mail was overlaid with
florescent patches, and his polyester shield was set with rinestones; and he
drew forth his nerfbat, Fred, that shown like safety orange in hue.

Then Doom hurled aloft Grond, the Hammer of the Underworld, and
swung it down like a bolt of thunder:

KKK KKK AAA TTTTTTTTTTT HHH HHH OOOOO OOOOO MMM MMM
KKK KKK AAAAAAA TTT HHH HHH OOO OOO OOO OOO MMMM MMMM
KKK KKK AAA AAA TTT HHH HHH OOO OOO OOO OOO MMMMMMMMMM
KKKKKK AAA AAA === TTT HHHHHHHHH OOO OOO OOO OOO MMMMMMMMMM
KKK KKK AAAAAAAAA TTT HHH HHH OOO OOO OOO OOO MMM MM MMM
KKK KKK AAA AAA TTT HHH HHH OOO OOO OOO OOO MMM MMM
KKK KKK AAA AAA TTT HHH HHH OOOOO OOOOO MMM MMM

[ ground-excavating underworld hammer noise ]

And rent a mighty pit in the earth, whence smoke and fire darted.

But Nethicus had not thought to evade, but he did wander about most
capriciously, such that the mighty Grond could not be brought to bear. Many
times Doom essayed to smite him, and each time Nethicus wheeled away,
nattering upon about the price of tea in Peking, or the wily ways of toxic
Ricky Lake spirits. And seven times did he hurl jibes at the Dark Lord, and
seven times Doom roared with intended vengeance for these slights against his
person, whereat the hosts of Hliskjalf did let loose with low whistles in
shuddering acknowledgement of Nethicus' ziners and Doom's wrath, and did
quake to consider his intent.

But, at last, the Loonie Lord grew lethargic, and his lunacy did
not last ... and Doom's temper did break, and he drew forth the Almighty
Carp -- never before had those dark days beheld so terrible a weapon, and
wielding it, he brought it vengefully upon the unsuspecting Nethicus

TTTTTTTTTTTT HHH HHH WWW WWW AAAA PPPPPPPPP || ||
TTT HHH HHH WWW WWW AAAAAAAA PPP PPP || ||
TTT HHH HHH WWW WWW WWW AAA AAA PPP PPP || ||
TTT HHHHHHHHHH WWW WWW WWW AAA AAA PPPPPPPPP || ||
TTT HHH HHH WWW WWW WWW AAAAAAAAAA PPP || ||
TTT HHH HHH WWWWWWWWWWW AAA AAA PPP
TTT HHH HHH WWW WWW AAA AAA PPP ** **

[ account-annihilating wet carp noise ]

Thus died Nethicus, High Lord of Loonies, most peculiar and variegated of
the Loonie Lords of old. The dark ones make no boast of the duel at the
gate, for their tempers are still short 'bout the matter; nor to the Loonies
think on't, for their sorrow is too deep.

/\ These thoughts were brought to you by...
/ \\
/ \ \ Doom Technologies & Weapon Systems
/ ---\ \ \ Dark Thought Publications
/ <(O)> \ \ The Prussian Army
/ \ \ The Spanish Inquisition
/ \ / (Weren't expecting them, eh?)
/ \/ The Ancient Order of the Bavarian Illuminati
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ (The World's Oldest Conspiracy...join today!)

^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^
"I'm not an actor, but I play one on tv."
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
<Damion passes Dr. Doom a cigar>

BTW, It's really great to see a post by the venerable Dr. Doom, whom I had
thought had left us for good some years back with but a single return for a
Christmas post. It's great to see you, Doom! I notice that you're hiding
your identity just as well as always ;-).

--
Damion Milliken University of Wollongong
Unofficial Shadowrun Guru E-mail: dam01@***.edu.au
-----BEGIN GEEK CODE BLOCK-----
Version: 3.12
GE d- s++:-- a26 C++ US++>+++ P+ L+>++ E- W++ N+ o@ K- w+(--) O-@ M--
V- PS+ PE- Y+ PGP-@>++ t+@ 5@ X+>+++ R++ tv(-) b+ DI+++@ D-@ G+
e++>++++ h--- r+++ y+++
------END GEEK CODE BLOCK------
Message no. 5
From: Gurth@******.nl (Gurth)
Subject: carp wars
Date: Sat, 12 Oct 2002 19:23:00 +0200
According to Damion Milliken, on Sat, 12 Oct 2002 the word on the street was...

> Although I do not have an especially volumous dead smelly wet carp
> collection (like some; I recall that Gurth has an entire folder of the
> things from all through history)

I just have a text file with "THWAP" written in different ways, as well as
some of the more common ASCII art thwap images. And I probably have some of
the better ones still around, plus the ones I wrote myself. But I'd have to go
digging through my various old ShadowRN mailboxes to find them, and...

-rwxr-xr-x 1 gurth users 12958130 Oct 24 2000 ShadowRN (old 1)
-rwxr-xr-x 1 gurth users 45043338 Sep 17 2001 ShadowRN (old 2)

...I somehow don't think that will be a very quick job :)

--
Gurth@******.nl - http://www.xs4all.nl/~gurth/index.html
I know all this and more
-> Probably NAGEE Editor * ShadowRN GridSec * Triangle Virtuoso <-
-> The Plastic Warriors Page: http://plastic.dumpshock.com <-

GC3.12: GAT/! d- s:- !a>? C++(---) UL+ P(+) L++ E W--(++) N o? K w(--)
O V? PS+ PE@ Y PGP- t- 5++ X(+) R+++$ tv+(++) b++@ DI- D+ G+ e h! !r y?
Incubated into the First Church of the Sqooshy Ball, 21-05-1998
Message no. 6
From: MaNAxFLuX@***.com (MaNAxFLuX@***.com)
Subject: carp wars
Date: Sat, 12 Oct 2002 15:12:04 EDT
www.gorillabobs.com


they sell rpgs and comics and books and have several tables to play on
Message no. 7
From: iridios@********.net (Iridios)
Subject: carp wars
Date: Sat, 12 Oct 2002 20:37:10 -0400
MaNAxFLuX@***.com wrote:
>
> www.gorillabobs.com
>
> they sell rpgs and comics and books and have several tables to play on

Ummm... Isn't this an ad?

--
Iridios
--
Error messages that MS should have used.

* Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)

18 of 25 Quotes in file.
Message no. 8
From: MaNAxFLuX@***.com (MaNAxFLuX@***.com)
Subject: carp wars
Date: Sat, 12 Oct 2002 20:42:31 EDT
<PRE>yes sorry
Message no. 9
From: pentaj2@****.edu (Penta John C)
Subject: carp wars
Date: Sat, 12 Oct 2002 20:55:00 -0400
----- Original Message -----
From: Iridios <iridios@********.net>
Date: Saturday, October 12, 2002 8:37 pm
Subject: Re: carp wars

> MaNAxFLuX@***.com wrote:
> >
> > www.gorillabobs.com
> >
> > they sell rpgs and comics and books and have several tables to
> play on
>
> Ummm... Isn't this an ad?

Yes, yes it is. Why not bill him for it? $50 per member sounds
appropriate. We can use it to get a new server for the list or
something.
Message no. 10
From: Gurth@******.nl (Gurth)
Subject: carp wars
Date: Sun, 13 Oct 2002 11:37:38 +0200
According to MaNAxFLuX@***.com, on Sat, 12 Oct 2002 the word on the street was...

> www.gorillabobs.com
>
>
> they sell rpgs and comics and books and have several tables to play on

Erm... okay...

Did you send the US$1000 check in already, or were you about to? :)

--
Gurth@******.nl - http://www.xs4all.nl/~gurth/index.html
I know all this and more
-> Probably NAGEE Editor * ShadowRN GridSec * Triangle Virtuoso <-
-> The Plastic Warriors Page: http://plastic.dumpshock.com <-

GC3.12: GAT/! d- s:- !a>? C++(---) UL+ P(+) L++ E W--(++) N o? K w(--)
O V? PS+ PE@ Y PGP- t- 5++ X(+) R+++$ tv+(++) b++@ DI- D+ G+ e h! !r y?
Incubated into the First Church of the Sqooshy Ball, 21-05-1998
Message no. 11
From: loneeagle2061@*******.com (Lone Eagle)
Subject: carp wars
Date: Sun, 13 Oct 2002 14:09:52 +0000
>From: Penta John C <pentaj2@****.edu>
> > MaNAxFLuX@***.com wrote:
> > >
> > > www.gorillabobs.com
> > >
> > > they sell rpgs and comics and books and have several tables to
> > play on
> >
> > Ummm... Isn't this an ad?
>
>Yes, yes it is. Why not bill him for it? $50 per member sounds
>appropriate. We can use it to get a new server for the list or
>something.

Isn't the base rate $1,999 to the list owner or a donation of $1,000 to the
EFF?

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Message no. 12
From: datwinkdaddy@*******.com (Da Twink Daddy)
Subject: carp wars
Date: Sun, 13 Oct 2002 15:45:23 -0500
----- Original Message -----
From: "Lone Eagle" <loneeagle2061@*******.com>
> >From: Penta John C <pentaj2@****.edu>

> > > Ummm... Isn't this an ad?

> >Yes, yes it is.

> Isn't the base rate $1,999 to the list owner or a donation of $1,000
to the
> EFF?

I think you have the amounts backwards.

Da Twink Daddy
datwinkdaddy@*******.com
ICQ# 514984
Message no. 13
From: loneeagle@********.co.uk (Lone Eagle)
Subject: carp wars
Date: Sun, 13 Oct 2002 21:55:15 +0100
At 03:45 PM 13/10/2002 -0500, Da Twink Daddy wrote:
>----- Original Message -----
>From: "Lone Eagle" <loneeagle2061@*******.com>
> > >From: Penta John C <pentaj2@****.edu>
>
> > > > Ummm... Isn't this an ad?
>
> > >Yes, yes it is.
>
> > Isn't the base rate $1,999 to the list owner or a donation of $1,000
>to the
> > EFF?
>
>I think you have the amounts backwards.


No, it's definitely cheaper to make a donation.


--
Lone Eagle
"Hold up lads, I got an idea."

www.wyrmtalk.co.uk - Please be patient, this site is under construction
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"Oh come on, luck; sounds almost exactly like f<Cut to end credits>"
Blackadder II (Beer)
Message no. 14
From: jch8169@******.net (Doctor Doom)
Subject: carp wars
Date: Wed, 16 Oct 2002 11:38:31 -0500
Von Herrn Damion Milliken:

>Although I do not have an especially volumous dead smelly wet carp
>collection (like some; I recall that Gurth has an entire folder of the
>things from all through history), this is one of my favourites:

[...The Sillymarillion...]

My own archives contain most instances of the celebrated instances of
the wielding of the piscine bludgeon, including the Second Year
Anniversary, Planet-Destroying Wet Carp Noise, Cornholio Learns the
Lesson of Top Kal Focus, Great Thwaps of History ... or Not, The
Sillymarillion, and a Flame/Thwap War between Reverend, Loki, and
myself.

>BTW, It's really great to see a post by the venerable Dr. Doom, whom I had
>thought had left us for good some years back with but a single return for a
>Christmas post. It's great to see you, Doom!

My heartfelt gratitude for your kind sentiments, Herr Milliken; it is
well to conduct discourse upon a forum upon which I expended so much
attention in years past. However, the intervening years since ere
graduation and the present day has not been devoid of remarks.

There was, as you recollect, the Christmas message, but I also reappeared
bidden by a colleague's reporting some vague reminsces by a list partici-
pant construed as being to myself (mis-apprehension of the reference, as
it was later determined), and there was the posting of the "Trek of the SR
List Herald," a transmogrification of "The Wreck of the Edward Fitzgerald"
-- a considerably belated rejoinder to a challenge put forth by Hayden.

Yet the point is well taken; my activity in the conversational inter-
course is the merest shadow of what it was in the past. For that I blame
the exigencies of post-baccalaureate existence. Yet I do participate in
a Shadowrun campaign ... such is an activity with which I would be loathe
to part.

>What did happen to the Dark Tower Hlidskjalf, Doom?

Ah, you summon to the forefront of my thoughts very fond memories
indeed, Herr Milliken. Originally constructed at a time when all HTML
coding was
performed by hand, the Dark Tower Hlidskjalf remained largely unaltered
as the seasons and years progressed. By the time of my graduation, its
age was more than in evidence. Hence, when I was compelled to secure
safe ports upon the virtual seas, it was not erected in my new demesne.

Its data foundations still exist; carefully archived by myself. Were I
to simply re-establish it in its current state, it would be more of a
curiousity, a relic of the early days of the WWW.

[ rather like the archival archaeology which revaled the first smiley
emoticon
http://slashdot.org/article.pl?sid/09/12/2133216&mode=thread&tid3 ]

Hence, until at such I may re-construct it anew, with attention towards a
design less overtly primitive, it shall remain concealed.

-- Doctor Doom

~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~
Exoriare aliquis nostris ex ossibus ultor
-- Virgil
Message no. 15
From: korishinzo@*****.com (Ice Heart)
Subject: carp wars
Date: Wed, 16 Oct 2002 10:24:10 -0700 (PDT)
--- Doctor Doom <jch8169@******.net> wrote:
> Von Herrn Damion Milliken:

[SNIP] <-- WordSnipXP, 2002, Microdaft Corp.

It was the Edmund Fitzgerald...Edward was his younger
brother, a small sailboat whose untimely demise at the
hands of an inept youth during a small squall on one
of Lake Superior's smaller inland neighbors never made
into even a single verse of Gordon Lihgtfoot's
prolific works. That said...I must say that I enjoy
reading your posts. Any given disquisition by
yourself can be found to contain a plethora of the
more polysyllabic denizens of dictionary.com's "Word
of the Day" list. Seldom does one find a more
magniloquent response to the time honored question,
"Can you use that in a sentence?" ;)

======Korishinzo
--Does Febreeze remove the lingering malodor of wet
carp? ;D



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