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Mailing List Logs for ShadowRN

Message no. 1
From: "Terry L. Amburgey" <xanth@********.uky.edu>
Subject: fun & games
Date: Mon, 25 Mar 1996 20:50:32 -0500 (EST)
David wrote:
[thoughtful post snipped]
>For a GM to continue to let a player play who's style
>diminishes his enjoyment of the game with no hope that the player will
>change is the fault of the GM.
>
>Okay, I'm done ranting and raving.

On a related problem: roll players and munchkins [other than me of course
:)] are problems that a number of people have discussed. What about people
that are just plain *unpleasant*? I've been very lucky over the years but
this cropped up just as I and another fellow joined the group I play with
now. Anyone have any tips for dealing with this awkward situation? Terry

BTW I didn't take offense at your munchkin comment, I revel in being a
munchkin and a rules lawyer :)


Terry L. Amburgey
Associate Professor of Management
College of Business and Economics
University of Kentucky
Lexington, KY 40506-0034
Phone: 606-257-7726
Fax: 606-257-3577
Message no. 2
From: Jonas Gabrielson <m94jga@*******.tdb.uu.se>
Subject: Re: fun & games
Date: Tue, 26 Mar 1996 13:00:11 +0100 (MET)
On Mon, 25 Mar 1996, Terry L. Amburgey wrote:

> David wrote:
> [thoughtful post snipped]
> >For a GM to continue to let a player play who's style
> >diminishes his enjoyment of the game with no hope that the player will
> >change is the fault of the GM.
> >
> >Okay, I'm done ranting and raving.
>
> On a related problem: roll players and munchkins [other than me of course
> :)] are problems that a number of people have discussed. What about people
> that are just plain *unpleasant*? I've been very lucky over the years but
> this cropped up just as I and another fellow joined the group I play with
> now. Anyone have any tips for dealing with this awkward situation? Terry

I've had one experience in this matter. There was this boy we
gamed with in high school. From the beginning he was alright - he was a
jovial wisecracker, although he leaned heavily to the "computer-geek"
stereotype. However, year passed, and our gaming become more mature and
advanced (at least more so than before). ut he never changed. He stayed a
munchkin, which annoyed us to no end. Worse yet, we discovered that his
store of wittycisms was quite limited, and the recycling rate was high.
His shadowing us became unnerving. We hid our disapproval, though, and
eventually he went his own way. I hope we didn't hurt his feelings.
We never actually confronted him, but rather pushed him gently in
another direction. This was mainly because he was rather insecure and
short on friends, besides us, and we didn't think he could face reality.
Perhaps there are better ways to get rid of unpleasant gamers, but we
chose this one, and it worked (much to our surprise).

-Jonas Gabrielson, a regular good guy
Message no. 3
From: dbuehrer@****.org (David Buehrer)
Subject: Re: fun & games
Date: Tue, 26 Mar 1996 07:58:06 -0700 (MST)
Terry L. Amburgey wrote:
|
|On a related problem: roll players and munchkins [other than me of course
|:)] are problems that a number of people have discussed. What about people
|that are just plain *unpleasant*? I've been very lucky over the years but
|this cropped up just as I and another fellow joined the group I play with
|now. Anyone have any tips for dealing with this awkward situation? Terry

Oh boy...First, I would try to stand back and look at the situation with as
broad a perspective as possible. List *all* the positives and negatives of
the person in question. Are you the only person who is affected?

If the person is affecting the rest of the group negativly, and the
negatives far outway the possitives, then its a matter of the group
talking to him and expressing their concerns and asking him
if they're willing to change. And if he's not willing to change then tell
him that the group no longer wants him to play with them. It's like any
other relationship, if the person is driving you nuts and they won't
change then you break up with them and move on. The only exception to
this is when it's a family member IMHO.

If the person is only affecting you then its a lot harder. If the
positives outway the negatives then you might consider putting up with
the person and try to influence them over time. If the negatives outway
the positives then you might want to consider talking to the person
about it. People almost always respect honesty. Let them know how you
feel and *ask* them to take your feelings into consideration when they
are around you. I know this sounds really "touchy-feely", but it stands
a good chance of working. You might also talk to the other members of
the group and ask them how they deal with the person's behavior.

Hope that helps.

|BTW I didn't take offense at your munchkin comment, I revel in being a
|munchkin and a rules lawyer :)

I am the resident rules lawyer in my group. It has it's downside
though, whenever there's a rules question all the heads turn my way and
wait for an answer. It's gotten to the point where I'm the only one
that reads the rules. With ShadowRun, were there are rules scattered
throughout the sourcebooks, it can be a real pain at times. What goes
around, comes around :)

-David

/^\/^\/^\/^\/^\/^\/^\/^\ dbuehrer@****.org /^\/^\/^\/^\/^\/^\/^\/^\
"Wanted: All Kathey Lee Gifford albums. Including her "Greatest
Hits" album and her Christmas album. Contact the Possum Lodge Skeet
Shooting Club."
~~~~~~~~~~www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/1068/homepage.html~~~~~~~~~
Message no. 4
From: Peter David Boddy <pdboddy@****.carleton.ca>
Subject: Re: fun & games
Date: Tue, 26 Mar 96 12:01:48 EST
Terry L. Amburgey writes:
>
> On a related problem: roll players and munchkins [other than me of course
> :)] are problems that a number of people have discussed. What about people
> that are just plain *unpleasant*? I've been very lucky over the years but
> this cropped up just as I and another fellow joined the group I play with
> now. Anyone have any tips for dealing with this awkward situation? Terry
>
> BTW I didn't take offense at your munchkin comment, I revel in being a
> munchkin and a rules lawyer :)
I share your pain. A group that I regularily play with has a really
annoying person. We haven't been able to come up with a polite way to
tell him to get lost. As a friend put it, "its like kicking a puppy, you
feel so bad afterwards".

Pete
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Peter David Boddy
Carleton University
Email address: pdboddy@****.carleton.ca
Email address: bx955@*******.carleton.ca
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Message no. 5
From: seb@***.ripco.com (Sebastian Wiers)
Subject: Re: fun & games
Date: Tue, 26 Mar 1996 12:47:56 -0600 (CST)
>
> Terry L. Amburgey writes:
> >
> > On a related problem: roll players and munchkins [other than me of course
> > :)] are problems that a number of people have discussed. What about people
> > that are just plain *unpleasant*? I've been very lucky over the years but
> > this cropped up just as I and another fellow joined the group I play with
> > now. Anyone have any tips for dealing with this awkward situation? Terry
> >
> > BTW I didn't take offense at your munchkin comment, I revel in being a
> > munchkin and a rules lawyer :)
> I share your pain. A group that I regularily play with has a really
> annoying person. We haven't been able to come up with a polite way to
> tell him to get lost. As a friend put it, "its like kicking a puppy, you
> feel so bad afterwards".
>
> Pete

I've never been in a group and kicked somebody out, but I've played with
people I was quite happy to loose touch with. On the other hand< i was
kicked out from one group- the GM just told me it wasn't working out, and I
spent the time I'd have spent gaming on other, more productive things. No
hard feeelings either way, and in fact, I now game with players from that
campaign, which kinda faded. Better than having spent a year annoying anfd
frustrating eachother.
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Peter David Boddy
> Carleton University
> Email address: pdboddy@****.carleton.ca
> Email address: bx955@*******.carleton.ca
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>


--
--Seb
Message no. 6
From: TopCat <topcat@******.net>
Subject: Re: fun & games
Date: Wed, 27 Mar 1996 16:45:08 -0600
> On a related problem: roll players and munchkins [other than me of course
> :)] are problems that a number of people have discussed. What about people
> that are just plain *unpleasant*? I've been very lucky over the years but
> this cropped up just as I and another fellow joined the group I play with
> now. Anyone have any tips for dealing with this awkward situation?

We had one long-term problem player who nobody had the heart to kick out of
the group. One day, he finally got on my nerves to the point where I told
him to leave and that he will no longer be allowed in either of my houses.
Kinda put a stop to gaming for the night, but after a week everything was
better than ever and the problem is still gone to this day (though he whines
about it occasionally, he will never return).

My suggestion, if there's a problem get it out in the open. Be blunt and
public about it (do it at a game session with the players there). If it
continues, then boot the player. If it stops, everything's cool afterwards.
All in all it lets people know what's expected of them. Which is really
just common sense and courtesy in most cases.

------------------------------------------------------------
* Bob Ooton -- <topcat@******.net> *
* Golden Tiger Association -- Submission Fighting Team *
------------------------------------------------------------
* With the speed of a striking cobra he pulled his machine *
* pistol and jammed the muzzle against Mozart's nose. "I *
* put my gun on rock and roll, there nothing left of you *
* but ears, man." -- "Mozart in Mirrorshades" *
------------------------------------------------------------
Message no. 7
From: Helge Diernaes <ecocide@***.econ.cbs.dk>
Subject: Re: fun & games
Date: Thu, 28 Mar 1996 10:40:03 +0100 (MET)
On Wed, 27 Mar 1996, TopCat wrote:

> > On a related problem: roll players and munchkins [other than me of course
> > :)] are problems that a number of people have discussed. What about people
> > that are just plain *unpleasant*? I've been very lucky over the years but
> > this cropped up just as I and another fellow joined the group I play with
> > now. Anyone have any tips for dealing with this awkward situation?

As TopCat wrote, boot him/her. If chemistry doesn't work, there is no way
around it since you're in this for fun.

TopCats example was an annoying ind-oh-vidual, while I hadda do the same
to a nice person, who somehow just did not match the mentality of the
rest of us. The group talked it through, agreed that the world would be a
better place without him and told him to go find another group.
The alternative had been a souring gaming group, which in our case would
have been a sadness indeed..

--
Luck on you,

Silhouette


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# The greatness of the community lies in the symbiosis of individuals. #
# The glory of the individual lies in the rejection of community. #
? -some unknown nit ?
? - or was she? ?
# Helge Diernaes | ecocide@***.econ.cbs.dk #
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Message no. 8
From: Matti Aistrich <aistrich@********.hkkk.fi>
Subject: Re: fun & games
Date: Fri, 29 Mar 1996 15:49:33 +0200 (EET)
On Tue, 26 Mar 1996, David Buehrer wrote:

> other relationship, if the person is driving you nuts and they won't
> change then you break up with them and move on. The only exception to
> this is when it's a family member IMHO.
>
Yeah, in that case cyanide is usually your best bet. :-)

---------------------------------------------
: Perfect is : Matti M. Aistrich :
: only just : :
: good enough! : aistrich@********.hkkk.fi :
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