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From:	Info Static <RMD57285@****.UTULSA.EDU>
Subject:	jokes
Date:	Sat, 6 Nov 1993 06:22:13 GMT

Message no. 1 As often as jokes are taken seriously around here one would think that the one
posting the joke would be a little more humorous about it. No one poster of
jokes refered to by this post.
Info Static
By the way, anyone heard the joke about the rope being thrown out of a bar?

From:	Sgt Pepper <GRBENNET@*****.CIS.ECU.EDU>
Subject:	Jokes
Date:	Mon, 24 Jul 1995 23:19:45 EDT

Message no. 2 Friend of mine sent these to me, thought the list might like them.

****************************************************
MURPHY'S LAWS OF COMBAT

1.If the enemy is in range, so are you.
2.Incoming fire has the right of way.
3.Don't look conspicuous, it draws fire.
4.There is always a way.
5.The easy way is always mined.
6.Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.
7.Professionals are predictable, it's the amateurs that are dangerous.
8.The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions:
1.when you're ready for them.
2.when you're not ready for them.
9.Teamwork is essential, it gives them someone else to shoot at.
10.If you can't remember, then the claymore is pointed at you.
11.The enemy diversion you have been ignoring will be the main
attack.
12.A "sucking chest wound" is nature's way of telling you to slow
down.
13.If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.
14.Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you.
15.Anything you do can get you shot, including nothing.
16.Make it tough enough for the enemy to get in and you won't be able
to get out.
17.Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.
18.If you're short of everything but the enemy, you're in a combat
zone.
19.When you have secured an area, don't forget to tell the enemy.
20.Never forget that your weapon is made by the lowest bidder.
21.Nothings more accurate than friendly fire.

Any comments are welcome and appreciated.

SGT PEPPER

"I MAY BE SANE BUT I'M CRAZIER THAN YOU" O O
NOSALGIA ISN'T WHAT IT USED TO BE. ^
SOMEONE WHO THINKS LOGICALLY IS A NICE _____/
CONTRAST TO THE REAL WORLD.
THERE IS ALWAYS ONE MORE IMBECILE THAN YOU COUNTED ON.
IF YOU CAN SMILE WHEN THINGS GO WRONG, YOU HAVE SOMEONE IN
MIND TO BLAME.
COMMON SENSE REALLY AIN'T ALL THAT COMMON.

GeekCodev2.1

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