From: | Spike <u5a77@*****.CS.KEELE.AC.UK> |
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Subject: | LAVs and something amusing..... |
Date: | Tue, 25 Mar 1997 00:47:21 +0000 |
As you all seem to be talking about LAVs and Harrier Jump Jets and so on at
the moment........
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|The Darwin Award is an annual honor given to the person who did the gene
|pool the biggest service by killing themselves in the most
|extraordinarily stupid way. Last year's winner was the fellow who was
|killed by a Coke machine, which toppled over on top of him as he was
|attempting to tip a free soda out of it.
|
|This year's nominee:
|
|The Arizona Highway Patrol came upon a pile of smoldering metal embedded
|into the side of a cliff rising above the road at the apex of a curve.
|The wreckage resembled the site of an airplane crash, but it was a car.
|The type of car was unidentifiable at the scene. The lab finally figured
|out what it was and what had happened.
|
|It seems that a guy had somehow gotten hold of a JATO unit (Jet Assisted
|Take Off-- actually a solid-fuel rocket) that is used to give heavy
|military transport planes an extra "push" for taking off from short
|airfields. He had driven his Chevy Impala out into the desert and found
|a long, straight stretch of road. Then he attached the JATO unit to his
|car, jumped in, got up some speed and fired off the JATO.
|
|The facts as best as could be determined are that the operator of the
|1967 Impala hit the JATO ignition at a distance of approximately 3.0
|miles from the crash site. This was established by the prominent
|scorched and melted asphalt at that location.
|
|The JATO, if operating properly, would have reached maximum thrust
|within 5 seconds, causing the Chevy to reach speeds well in excess of
|350 mph and continuing at full power for an additional 20-25 seconds.
|
|The driver, soon to be pilot, most likely would have experienced
|G-forces usually reserved for dog-fighting F-14 jocks under full
|afterburners, basically causing him to become insignificant for the
|remainder of the event. However, the automobile remained on the straight
|highway for about 2.5 miles (15-20 seconds) before the driver applied
|and completely melted the brakes, blowing the tires and leaving thick
|rubber marks on the road surface, then becoming airborne for an
|additional 1.4 miles and impacting the cliff face at a height of 125
|feet leaving a blackened crater 3 feet deep in the rock.
|
|Most of the driver's remains were not recoverable; however, fingernail
|shards were removed from a piece of debris believed to be a portion of
|the steering wheel.
|
|Epilogue
|
|It has been calculated that, were it not for the cliff, this man would
|have reached Mach I. As it were, he apparently attained a ground-speed
|of approximately 420 mph before impacting the cliff.
|
--
______________________________________________________________________________
|u5a77@*****.cs.keele.ac.uk| "Are you pondering what I'm pondering Pinky?" |
|Andrew Halliwell | |
|Principal subjects in:- | "I think so brain, but this time, you control |
|Comp Sci & Electronics | the Encounter suit, and I'll do the voice..." |
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|GCv3.1 GCS/EL>$ d---(dpu) s+/- a- C++ U N++ o+ K- w-- M+/++ PS+++ PE- Y t+ |
|5++ X+/++ R+ tv+ b+ D G e>PhD h/h+ !r! !y-|I can't say F**K either now! :( |
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