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Message no. 1
From: Kama <kama@*******.NET>
Subject: Married Gamers (was Re: Gamemaster girlfriend's)
Date: Mon, 28 Sep 1998 11:22:54 -0400
Based on ocmments made by 00DNA, Fixer, and others I have come to the
conclusion that there are a lot of people on this list who have
spouses/significant others who are also gamers. This led me to wonder
about a couple of things.

1) How many of us do have spouses/significant others who game?

2) Do you participate in the same game/ different games than you
Spouse/significant other? What problems/advantages have you found to this?

3) Did you and your spouse/S.O. game before you met or did one of you
introduce the other to the concept?

4) How many marriages/permanent relationships out there can be directly
attributed to gaming/Shadowrun?

- Kama
Message no. 2
From: "M. Sean Martinez" <ElBandit@***.COM>
Subject: Re: Married Gamers (was Re: Gamemaster girlfriend's)
Date: Mon, 28 Sep 1998 11:47:22 EDT
In a message dated 9/28/98 11:24:05 AM Eastern Daylight Time, kama@*******.NET
writes:

> 1) How many of us do have spouses/significant others who game?

I for one do!

> 2) Do you participate in the same game/ different games than you
> Spouse/significant other? What problems/advantages have you found to this?

Generally my wife plays in only my games. She dosen't really like to GM since
she hates to remember rules and would rather just role play and solve the
mystery. I really like to GM since I really do not like to be a player since
every GM I have every played under was a cheese-oid and was only out to screw
the team over. (My favorite was when I tried to buy a used car in 2055 Alanta
and there was none!)

As for advantages I know who my wife thinks so I am usually prepared for the
direction she will lead the party. She is usually the leader because she has
such a strong personality and typically plays characters as such.

This is also a disadvantage, since she knows how I think and can generally
jump ahead a few plot points and solve the mystery if need be.

> 3) Did you and your spouse/S.O. game before you met or did one of you
> introduce the other to the concept?

Nope, we were both gamers to begin with.

> 4) How many marriages/permanent relationships out there can be directly
> attributed to gaming/Shadowrun?

I can attribute my whole marriage to the Mechwarrior game. Basically both my
future wife and I were attracted to each other at the begining since we used
to spend so much time together as friends. Her boyfriend at the time was my
best friend and a total putz who whould not spend time with her and complain
about her. The mechwarrior game I was running give both her and I an outlet to
express our feelings without that much fear. Unfortunetly we started having an
affair behind her boyfriends back and when it was discovered by another palyer
who also was intreasted in her romantically he went straight to the boyfriend.

All three of us sat down and discussed logically what we were going to do. As
it turned it she broke up with him for me and everyone was much happier. A
year later we were married.

I can attribute my marriage doing as well as it has to a female friend of mine
that helps me understand how the other sex thinks as well as the anime Sailor
Moon, which reminded me what our relationship used to be.

Yes I live a very strange life :)

-Bandit
Message no. 3
From: 00DNA <mcmanus@******.ALBANY.EDU>
Subject: Re: Married Gamers (was Re: Gamemaster girlfriend's)
Date: Mon, 28 Sep 1998 11:59:20 -0400
At 11:22 AM 9/28/98 -0400, Kama wrote:
I'll keep this survery short since I was already identified.

>1) How many of us do have spouses/significant others who game?

Me + well, more.

>2) Do you participate in the same game/ different games than you
>Spouse/significant other? What problems/advantages have you found to this?

She plays in my SR games and would have played in my ED game but never
started it. I always GM (not because I don't let other people, but because
I like to GM.) I really haven't had any problems with this, nor others in
my groups. My current group is a family thing anyway...me, my wife, my 2
cousins who are sister and brother, and a second cousin, which is their
uncle. (: Hmm, nepotism I guess. haha
One advantage is that we both have the same schedule. (: Can only play
when our 2 year old daughter is sleeping.

>3) Did you and your spouse/S.O. game before you met or did one of you
>introduce the other to the concept?

I've always gamed, I introduced it to her...

>4) How many marriages/permanent relationships out there can be directly
>attributed to gaming/Shadowrun?

Hmm, that one's too scary for me.


--00DNA
<<Replication Terminated>>
Message no. 4
From: Robert Wolfgang Rumpf <rumpf.1@***.EDU>
Subject: Re: Married Gamers (was Re: Gamemaster girlfriend's)
Date: Mon, 28 Sep 1998 11:32:39 -0400
>Based on ocmments made by 00DNA, Fixer, and others I have come to the
>conclusion that there are a lot of people on this list who have
>spouses/significant others who are also gamers. This led me to wonder
>about a couple of things.
>
>1) How many of us do have spouses/significant others who game?
>
>2) Do you participate in the same game/ different games than you
>Spouse/significant other? What problems/advantages have you found to this?
>
>3) Did you and your spouse/S.O. game before you met or did one of you
>introduce the other to the concept?
>
>4) How many marriages/permanent relationships out there can be directly
>attributed to gaming/Shadowrun?
>
>- Kama

I am happily married to a woman who games and games well (roughly 8 hours a
week of all sorts of RPGs including SR, AD&D, Vampire, etc.). We always
game together, and generally this woks really well - our characters rarely
interact in any way differently towards each other than they do towards
other player's characters.

We both gamed prior to meeting/marrying.

There is one disadvantage - when I GM, my wife is often in on the
brainstorming sessions I hold with my other personalities (I speak aloud to
myselves), so she becomes a sounding board and usually helps me greatly
with rounding out scenarios. Consequently, when I GM she has to work very
hard to keep player and character knowledge separated...


Dr. Robert Wolfgang Rumpf * rumpf.1@***.edu or genomancer@******.org

http://www.marcon.org/users/bob

It is by caffeine alone that I set my mind in motion
By the beans of java, my thoughts acquire speed
The hands acquire the shakes, the shakes become a warning
It is by caffeine alone that I set my mind in motion
Message no. 5
From: Dallandra <bz701@*********.AC.UK>
Subject: Re: Married Gamers (was Re: Gamemaster girlfriend's)
Date: Mon, 28 Sep 1998 17:05:16 GMT
> >1) How many of us do have spouses/significant others who game?
>
I used to till we broke up.

> >2) Do you participate in the same game/ different games than you
> >Spouse/significant other? What problems/advantages have you found to this?
>
>My ex used to play SR, and is still in my Warhammer FRP group.
>
> >3) Did you and your spouse/S.O. game before you met or did one of you
> >introduce the other to the concept?
>
>I introduced it to him. I GM WFRP and play SR, and they all used to
be run at 'our' place.
>
> >4) How many marriages/permanent relationships out there can be directly
> >attributed to gaming/Shadowrun?
>
>None that I know of.
>
__________________________________________________
All year round Email address: Dallandra@******.net
Website http://come.to/Dallandra

"No no no, you loopy Brothel Inmate!!"
Message no. 6
From: Micheal Feeney <Starrngr@***.COM>
Subject: Re: Married Gamers (was Re: Gamemaster girlfriend's)
Date: Mon, 28 Sep 1998 12:08:20 EDT
In a message dated 98-09-28 11:24:14 EDT, you write:

<<
1) How many of us do have spouses/significant others who game?

I dont, at present. My ex-wife did game, but badly. Total airhead.
Interestingly enough, my sister and her husband did game, as did one of my
best friends and her husband. At one point we were all the same gaming group.
Although not Shadowrun... it was that "other" rpg... you know, the one from
T$R.

2) Do you participate in the same game/ different games than you
Spouse/significant other? What problems/advantages have you found to this?

The really big problem with this is after a while, gamer couples tend to have
children. This either A) causes them to drop out of gaming, or B) bring their
kids to the games. While very young, this isnt a problem. However, once
they're about 8-10, they wanna play with mom and dad too, but often are not
quite up to the challenge. Like in the group I just mentioned. Best friends
kids played too.. not the best of roleplayers, but the youngest son was 8 and
only alowed a fighter type to keep thing easy for him and keep our headaches
down.

3) Did you and your spouse/S.O. game before you met or did one of you
introduce the other to the concept?

Ive found it tends to be about 50/50. I know a few couples who met at RPG
cons here in the Los Angeles plex... but in our personal group, only my sister
and her ex gamed before they met.

4) How many marriages/permanent relationships out there can be directly
attributed to gaming/Shadowrun?
>>
Message no. 7
From: Lady Jestyr <jestyr@*******.COM.AU>
Subject: Re: Married Gamers (was Re: Gamemaster girlfriend's)
Date: Tue, 29 Sep 1998 02:14:25 +1000
>Based on ocmments made by 00DNA, Fixer, and others I have come to the
>conclusion that there are a lot of people on this list who have
>spouses/significant others who are also gamers. This led me to wonder
>about a couple of things.
>
>1) How many of us do have spouses/significant others who game?

Me; my boyfriend and I are the only couple in our gaming group, though I'm
a much more committed gamer than he is. (At the moment he only plays
Shadowrun, for various reasons - mostly he doesn't like our group's playing
style when it comes to other games.)

>2) Do you participate in the same game/ different games than you
>Spouse/significant other? What problems/advantages have you found to this?

He only plays SR; I play anything that's put in front of me. ("I never met
an RPG I didn't like..." ;) Mostly it's OK, although when he feels like his
character (or he as a player) is being hard-done-by I tend to have to
listen to it - also, I've noticed a tendency to be a bit harsh towards him
(even when we're both just players) - probably overcompensating against my
preference for him. :)

>3) Did you and your spouse/S.O. game before you met or did one of you
>introduce the other to the concept?

We both gamed, though again I was more dedicated than him.

>4) How many marriages/permanent relationships out there can be directly
>attributed to gaming/Shadowrun?

Not this one. (Blame a mutual love of Metallica at the time - he was so
amazed that he'd found a chick who liked heavy metal ;)

Lady Jestyr

- Eagles may soar, but turkeys don't get sucked into jet engines. -
jestyr@*******.com.au URL: http://www.geocities.com/~jestyr
Message no. 8
From: "M. Sean Martinez" <ElBandit@***.COM>
Subject: Re: Married Gamers (was Re: Gamemaster girlfriend's)
Date: Mon, 28 Sep 1998 12:33:27 EDT
In a message dated 9/28/98 12:09:37 PM Eastern Daylight Time, Starrngr@***.COM
writes:

> The really big problem with this is after a while, gamer couples tend to
have
> children. This either A) causes them to drop out of gaming, or B) bring
> their kids to the games.

My wife and I are lucky that we live close enough to the grand parents to
leave the kids with them for a few hours so we can game once a month. I have
tried to run with my kids around, and while they mostly will play with the
dice it is easier and less distracting to not have them there.

One can also hire a babysitter for a few hourse to game. Though finding a
trust worthy babysitter can be a problem these days and it can get quite
expensive. What I have discovered that since I know so many married gamers
with kids we can often trade babysitting so the other couple can game.

Also Gamers tend to get real jobs that cut into time to game.

> While very young, this isnt a problem. However, once
> they're about 8-10, they wanna play with mom and dad too, but often are not
> quite up to the challenge.

At that age, kids should be able to entertain themselves for a few hours
quietly, IMHO.

-Bandit
Message no. 9
From: Fixer <fixer@*******.TLH.FL.US>
Subject: Re: Married Gamers (was Re: Gamemaster girlfriend's)
Date: Mon, 28 Sep 1998 12:49:47 -0400
On Mon, 28 Sep 1998, Kama wrote:

->Based on ocmments made by 00DNA, Fixer, and others I have come to the
->conclusion that there are a lot of people on this list who have
->spouses/significant others who are also gamers. This led me to wonder
->about a couple of things.
->
->1) How many of us do have spouses/significant others who game?

Me! And, of people I know and play with often, two couples (not
counting Kama & SO, who I've played with once).

->2) Do you participate in the same game/ different games than you
->Spouse/significant other? What problems/advantages have you found to this?

Same game, and haven't found too many problems with it except she
likes to hurt/kill people (especially people I try to capture, dammit).

->3) Did you and your spouse/S.O. game before you met or did one of you
->introduce the other to the concept?

She hadn't heard of a role-playing-game before she met me. I
introduced her to AD&D (easy for newbies) and rolled with it ever since.

->4) How many marriages/permanent relationships out there can be directly
->attributed to gaming/Shadowrun?

Not mine or the other couple I know of besides yours, Kama. RPGs
just happen to be a sideline in our cases.

Fixer --------------} The easy I do before breakfast,
the difficult I do all day long,
the impossible only during the week,
and miracles performed on an as-needed basis....

Now tell me, what was your problem?
Message no. 10
From: Fixer <fixer@*******.TLH.FL.US>
Subject: Re: Married Gamers (was Re: Gamemaster girlfriend's)
Date: Mon, 28 Sep 1998 13:08:17 -0400
On Mon, 28 Sep 1998, Micheal Feeney wrote:

<snip 1)>
-> 2) Do you participate in the same game/ different games than you
-> Spouse/significant other? What problems/advantages have you found to this?
->
->The really big problem with this is after a while, gamer couples tend to have
->children. This either A) causes them to drop out of gaming, or B) bring their
->kids to the games. While very young, this isnt a problem. However, once
->they're about 8-10, they wanna play with mom and dad too, but often are not
->quite up to the challenge. Like in the group I just mentioned. Best friends
->kids played too.. not the best of roleplayers, but the youngest son was 8 and
->only alowed a fighter type to keep thing easy for him and keep our headaches
->down.

Actually, I've been considering what to do when my wife's and my
child reaches the age when he will want to play. I think I'll probably
start him off on a private game. I remember when I was a child of 9-10
and playing AD&D in Alaska there wasn't a whole lot of other people that
played, so I often just tried to imagine the whole world by myself. (It's
amazing I didn't develop multiple personalities.) When I finally got
neighbors who would play, it helped me develop my social skills, both with
what happened inside the game and outside the game (dealing with the
players instead of the characters). It also helped me understand how to
research information (for the game), how to use reference materials (the
books) plus all those nifty rules and tables I had to memorize (which
helped me out when I got to Logrythms/sp). Under the right circumstances,
an RPG can help a child out a great deal.

Fixer --------------} The easy I do before breakfast,
the difficult I do all day long,
the impossible only during the week,
and miracles performed on an as-needed basis....

Now tell me, what was your problem?
Message no. 11
From: Steve Collins <einan@*********.NET>
Subject: Re: Married Gamers (was Re: Gamemaster girlfriend's)
Date: Mon, 28 Sep 1998 14:00:34 -0400
>>2) Do you participate in the same game/ different games than you
>>Spouse/significant other? What problems/advantages have you found to this?
>
>She plays in my SR games and would have played in my ED game but never
>started it. I always GM (not because I don't let other people, but because
>I like to GM.) I really haven't had any problems with this, nor others in
>my groups. My current group is a family thing anyway...me, my wife, my 2
>cousins who are sister and brother, and a second cousin, which is their
>uncle. (: Hmm, nepotism I guess. haha
>One advantage is that we both have the same schedule. (: Can only play
>when our 2 year old daughter is sleeping.
>

Well Having kids is a problem We generally solve it by not playing till
close to or just after our 6 year old son's bedtime. This is only
relevant on nights when she plays online and I'm playing Shadowrun. When
we play Werewolf the GM has 2 kids, one is 6 and can play with our son
and the other is 10 and has been being allowed to start playing with us
and as someone else has suggested he has been restricted to a fighter
type. When my son reaches 9 or 10 he will have the opportunity to join us
as well. For now I'm working on Chess with him.
Message no. 12
From: Steve Collins <einan@*********.NET>
Subject: Re: Married Gamers (was Re: Gamemaster girlfriend's)
Date: Mon, 28 Sep 1998 15:19:39 -0400
>Based on ocmments made by 00DNA, Fixer, and others I have come to the
>conclusion that there are a lot of people on this list who have
>spouses/significant others who are also gamers. This led me to wonder
>about a couple of things.
>
>1) How many of us do have spouses/significant others who game?

My wife plays although she doesn't play Shadowrun (she doesn't like the
setting), She does play in Werewolf game we have just started with an old
friend of hers from college (he GM's we play). She has also ran a few
short lived campaigns for us (Palladiums Beyond the Supernatural,
Pendragon, and Everway) but they died because she wasn't devoting enough
time for them. She was too busy playing in Online RPG's (Dragon Riders of
Pern MOO's).

>
>2) Do you participate in the same game/ different games than you
>Spouse/significant other? What problems/advantages have you found to this?

We have never had any problems with playing together we have always acted
as the characters would and not as we would, and when one of gm'ed there
was never any special treatment. I have never had to deal with the Game
Masters Girl Friend syndrome anywhere as none of my friends have ever had
a girl friend.

>
>3) Did you and your spouse/S.O. game before you met or did one of you
>introduce the other to the concept?

No she started playing when D&D came in Chainmail magazine, and I started
not much after that (I can't actually remember not playing but I know it
was around 5th or 6th grade), although she had not gamed in several years
before we met.

>
>4) How many marriages/permanent relationships out there can be directly
>attributed to gaming/Shadowrun?

Shadowrun none that I know of although I do know of at least two from
gaming in general.
>
>- Kama
>
Message no. 13
From: Pete *Iago* Palmer <peter@***********.NET.NZ>
Subject: Re: Married Gamers (was Re: Gamemaster girlfriend's)
Date: Tue, 29 Sep 1998 09:50:54 +1200
Ooooh a survey !!!!

[Spot the hapless child of the sixties/seventies]

1. my SO games roleplays occassionally.
2. She plays Vampire, I play SR and wargames.
3. We both gamed before we met.
4. Not mine. But at least the relationship has not been adversely affected by
disparate attitudes towards a hobby.

-Iago

At 11:22 28/09/98 -0400, you wrote:
>Based on ocmments made by 00DNA, Fixer, and others I have come to the
>conclusion that there are a lot of people on this list who have
>spouses/significant others who are also gamers. This led me to wonder
>about a couple of things.
>
>1) How many of us do have spouses/significant others who game?
>
>2) Do you participate in the same game/ different games than you
>Spouse/significant other? What problems/advantages have you found to this?
>
>3) Did you and your spouse/S.O. game before you met or did one of you
>introduce the other to the concept?
>
>4) How many marriages/permanent relationships out there can be directly
>attributed to gaming/Shadowrun?
>
>- Kama
>
Message no. 14
From: GRANITE <granite@**.NET>
Subject: Re: Married Gamers (was Re: Gamemaster girlfriend's)
Date: Mon, 28 Sep 1998 22:14:30 -0700
> 1) How many of us do have spouses/significant others who game?

I've got an Old Lady..But I couldn't get her to game if I put her at
gun point..My sons..maybe at gun point..

> 3) Did you and your spouse/S.O. game before you met or did one of you
> introduce the other to the concept?

I did in the olden days..before there was an "A" in front of
D&D...And didn't pick it back up until I wad been married for many
years..

> 4) How many marriages/permanent relationships out there can be directly
> attributed to gaming/Shadowrun?

Zero.. Personally speaking of course..Take that back..I know of one
couple that will probably get married..So I will have to say .5 for
now..Of course she is quite insane..but that is another story..
--------------------------------GRANITE
"Rock Steady"
===============================================
Lord, Grant Me The Serenity To Accept The Things I Cannot Change,
The Courage To Change The Things I Can,
And The Wisdom To Hide The Bodies Of Those People I Had To Kill
Because They Pissed Me Off.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ShadowRunner's Serenity Prayer
===============================================
Understanding is a three edged sword. - Kosh
What is best in life?
To Crush Your Enemies,
See Them Driven Before You,
And To Hear The Lamentation Of Their Women. -Conan
I Am The LAW! -JD
Jamais Arriere
Message no. 15
From: NightRain <nightrain@***.BRISNET.ORG.AU>
Subject: Re: Married Gamers (was Re: Gamemaster girlfriend's)
Date: Wed, 30 Sep 1998 14:43:24 +1000
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Shadowrun Discussion [mailto:SHADOWRN@********.ITRIBE.NET]On
> Behalf Of Kama
> Sent: Tuesday, September 29, 1998 1:23 AM
>
>
> 1) How many of us do have spouses/significant others who game?

Well, me.

> 2) Do you participate in the same game/ different games than you
> Spouse/significant other? What problems/advantages have you
> found to this?

I tend to like playing any role-playing game, but Shadowrun and
Earthdawn are my two favourites (and the only ones I'm in currently)
and my wife plays in both of these with me. She only plays these two
games and hasn't tried any others. I GM both campaigns and she plays
Earthdawn, though we are trying a co-GM setup with our upcoming 3rd Ed
campaign. I have found that it hasn't caused that many problems, as
she tends to be heavy into role-playing and not into number crunching.
She has a knowledge of the world and background of both campaigns
greater than most of the other players.

> 3) Did you and your spouse/S.O. game before you met or did
> one of you
> introduce the other to the concept?

I introduced her to RPG's.

> 4) How many marriages/permanent relationships out there can
> be directly
> attributed to gaming/Shadowrun?

Not this one. I was going out with her for ages before I got her to
try RPG's.

NightRain.

----------------------------------------------------------------------
| The universe is a big place, |
| and whatever happens, you will not be missed |
----------------------------------------------------------------------

http://nightrain.home.ml.org

EMAIL : nightrain@***.brisnet.org.au
: macey@***.brisnet.org.au
ICQ : 2587947
Message no. 16
From: GRANITE <granite@**.NET>
Subject: Re: Married Gamers (was Re: Gamemaster girlfriend's)
Date: Wed, 30 Sep 1998 09:32:50 -0700
> Actually, I've been considering what to do when my wife's and my
> child reaches the age when he will want to play.

Hopefully you will be more sucessful than I have been...For a very
brief period about 5 years ago my kids expressed and interest..I
tried to foster it..but it was short lived..and now it is nearly
impossible to get them to think about it..
--------------------------------GRANITE
"Rock Steady"
===============================================
Lord, Grant Me The Serenity To Accept The Things I Cannot Change,
The Courage To Change The Things I Can,
And The Wisdom To Hide The Bodies Of Those People I Had To Kill
Because They Pissed Me Off.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ShadowRunner's Serenity Prayer
===============================================
Understanding is a three edged sword. - Kosh
What is best in life?
To Crush Your Enemies,
See Them Driven Before You,
And To Hear The Lamentation Of Their Women. -Conan
I Am The LAW! -JD
Jamais Arriere

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