| From: | "Ojaste,James [NCR]" <James.Ojaste@**.GC.CA> |
|---|---|
| Subject: | Re: Milspec hardened Foo-Foo |
| Date: | Fri, 27 Mar 1998 11:40:51 -0500 |
>In a message dated 98-03-26 18:53:37 EST, you write:
>
>> >(Hey, anyone know how big armadillos get? This thing is HUGE!)
>>
>> Heh, the biggest armadillo I've seen is large cat or small dog size. Maybe
>> 1 ft. high, 2 ft. long.
>
>I heard a friend once describe them as being roughly the right size for a
>hardened "Cod" piece (if you can't figure that one out then take a look
>between your legs -for the guys that is-).
Looks like it's time for another commercial break. :-)
Tired of getting kicked just where you're most sensitive? Worried
that it may affect your ability to perform?
Hi, I'm Richard Long - president of "Foo-Foo For You". You may
remember our last production where we demonstrated the wonder that
is the Foo-Foo 2000. Many of you have written to us with thanks
for putting the latest in simulated stimulation within the palm of
your hand. Well, I'm here to let you know that once more, the
future is now.
<RL starts walking through a VR simulation of his narration>
We've all been in this situation - you're dancing with a member of
the finer sex and she slips. You grab her to keep her upright but
despite your best efforts, her knee slams into Tab A.
<VR sim stops just as knee connects>
Ouch.
Well, we have a solution. The UCAS military has recently contracted
us to provide them with a combat-ready version of our popular
Foo-Foo 2200. We've been working night after night producing the
most perfect Foo-Foo yet.
I present the Foo-Foo 3000! <oohs and aahs as the camera switches
to what looks like a normal Foo-Foo 2200 lying on a table>
Constructed with only the best space-age materials available, the
Foo-Foo 3000 provides you with full visual, auditory, and of course
*tactile* feedback as does the Foo-Foo 2200. But wait - there's more!
When entering a potentially...harmful situation, the Foo-Foo 3000
will automatically deploy our patented Shure-Stop armoured covering.
<camera switches back to Foo-Foo 3000, which deloys shiny black
armour like the Batmobile>
This armour has been designed and built according to military
specifications to withstand the toughest abuse in the most deadly
encounters.
<RL picks up hammer and hits the Foo-Foo 3000 - it bounces off>
Not only does the Foo-Foo 3000 protect you against possibly painful
accidents, but it also comes in several different styles and textures
including this lovely armadillo and this magnificent alligator.
<VR sim continues - man ignores the blow, smiles, and continues dancing>
The Foo-Foo 3000 is available for a limited time only - order yours
today!
<fade to black>
Heh. :-)
James Ojaste
