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Message no. 1
From: "Spike" <u5a77@**.keele.ac.uk>
Subject: More funnies......
Date: Sun, 23 Jun 1996 11:00:10 +0100 (BST)
This is the "Shadowrun Christmas" thing that I snagged from the list over
the festive season....
Hey, it is only 175 shopping days to christmas after all....

Indeed, such appropriations of this holiday classic by Clement Clarke
Moore (less popularly known by its actual title, "A Visit from St. Nicholas")
are nigh terrifying in their frequency in the course of this season. It
should be no less so four our beloved ShadowRun.
The following appropriation (corruption?) was long in the telling --
it was accidentally edited out of existence on no less than two occasions,
to be saved from oblivion via recollection.
Whe'er 'tis worth the effort, I know not...rather choppy in
parts, to my mind, but ne'ertheless, perhaps it shall be worth a laugh or
two for the various VR veterans 'pon this list:


^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~
A VISIT FROM DOOM, A SHADOWRUN CHRISTMAS

by Hangtime, with some help from Darkwatch

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through Seattle
The guns had fallen silent, there wasn't even ONE battle
The shadowrunners slumbered, secure at their pads
While dreaming of credsticks and jobs to be had
The corpers had laden their systems with glacial insurance
In hopes that Doom wouldn't make an unbidden appearance.
And my gal in her ablative vest and me with my night vision
Had just hunkered down for our last yuletime mission
When a block away there arose such a clamour
I sprang to my feet to see what was the matter
Running down the alleyway, over squatters I vaulted
Turned the corner, skidded, and halted.
The streets glistened from the rain earlier that day
And my eyes strained to pierce the fog rolling in from the bay
When what should my sensors suddenly report?
But a strech limosine, with motorcycle escourt!
It was emblazoned with an insignia of such forboding and gloom
That I knew in a second the passenger was Doom.
Like unto rolling thunder the entourage came,
And in voice bold and imperious, he uttered each name:
"Now Maze! Now Flare! Now Brodie, turn right!
On Trilo! On Darkwatch! On Izbin and Thurmite!
To the end of the block, to the end of the street!
Stay in formation, Comrades, nice and neat!"
Like to fleets arrayed in battle line
Around corners they wheeled, keeping good time
From street to street the entourage would zoom,
A flotilla of bikes, a limo, and Doom.
Out of breath, I stopped to rest my feet
Just as I heard the sound of tires to screech.
And then, following a pause, a dish would emerge
And I heard the hum of power beginning to surge
Knowing the purpose, I did to a vidphone dash
And jacked in to see Doom appear in a flash
His garb was an officer's -- every inch a Junker
Which belied his skill as an (in)famous netrunner
A constellation of medals spangled his chest
Separating him all the more from the rest
His expression was grave, edged with violent intent
As though he contained an inner rage yet to vent
At his hand I saw his fierce cavalry sword
A fitting weapon for this Matrix warlord
But with a arch of his brow and a slight shake of his head
I knew that personally I had nothing to dread
Uttering no words, he set right to his task
And engaging the IC, he dispatched them to the last
Roaring into the cluster, Ride of the Valkyries blaring
He secured the target data, corporate security daring.
Satisfied with his work, he prepared to get underway
Raised his hand in salute, and then warped away
Jacking out myself and switching to low-light
I saw the limo slowly pulling out into the night
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
"A ShadowRun Christmas to all, and remember to fight the good fight!

^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^

And might I add that I extend unto each and e'ery one of you my sincerest
and most heart-felt wishes for the happiest of holiday seasons.

Gesegnete Weihnachten, meine Kameraden, und glueckliches Neue Jahr!

Colonel Count von Hohenzollern und von Doom, DMSc, DSc, PhD.

Doom Technologies & Weapon Systems -- Dark Thought Publications
>>> Working on solutions best left in the dark.
<<<
[ Doctor Doom : hernan@*****.edu ]
< http://http.tamu.edu:8000/~ldk1083/doom/index.html >
^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^
"Attack, attack, and when in doubt, ATTACK!" -- Frederick the Great of Prussia


--
______________________________________________________________________________
|u5a77@**.keele.ac.uk | |
|Andrew Halliwell | "ARSE! GERLS!! DRINK! DRINK! DRINK!!!" |
|Principal subjects in:-| "THAT WOULD BE AN ECCLESIASTICAL MATTER!...FECK!!!!|
|Comp Sci & something | - Father Jack in "Father Ted"
|
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