| From: | "Robert A. Hayden" <hayden@*******.MANKATO.MSUS.EDU> |
|---|---|
| Subject: | New Years Groans |
| Date: | Sun, 1 Jan 1995 11:47:03 -0600 |
forgot. I did try it though, and boy is it HARSH!
Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster -- Terran Version
---------------------------------------------
During their travels through the galaxy, the galactic hitchhiker will
sometimes find that some item that is desired may be unavailable, so it
will have to be replaced with what is available. According to the
_Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy_, the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster is
the best drink in existence.
According to Douglas Adams' _Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy_, it was
invented by the President of the Galaxy (Imperial Galactic Government),
Zaphod Beeblebrox. Unfortunately, the ingredients for it are not available
on some planets. This being the case on Planet Earth (Terra), a galactic
hitchhiker known as TimeLoyd endeavored to create one using Terran
ingredients.
With the help of some buckskinners who will drink anything that is in a
jug (at a gathering recreating those of the early 19th Century mountain
men), he created a mixture similar to a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster,
after which, the bottom fell out of the jug. Note: Unless you are an
android with an indestructible stomach, liver and digestive system,
handle very, very carefully, and be sure to keep it away from fire. It
has been suggested as a possible spaceship fuel.
To make a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster using Terran ingredients:
Take the liquid contained in a 200 ml bottle of EverClear to remind you
that your head will be clear forever if you drink too many Pan Galactic
Gargle Blasters, and that your brain will clear of anything soon after
you start drinking some, if not before.
Into it, slowly pour a 750 ml bottle of Bombay Sapphire to remind you
of the marvelous beauty of the old Santraginean seas, or an equal amount
of Jeremiah Weed in acknowledgement of what has happened to the
Santraginean Seas and their lifeforms.
Now add 750 ml of Cold Wild Turkey, letting it run into the mixture as we
run through life to remind us of all the lifeforms we meet and experience
while hitchhiking through the galaxy.
Speedily stirring, add 375 ml of Herradua Tequila, mixing it in to
commemorate the galactic hitchhikers who died of pleasure among the
vapors and gasses in the marshes of Fallia.
Over the bowl of a silver spoon, let flow 1 liter of rum in memory of
the waterfalls and their glorious rainbows encountered on your journeys
through the galaxy of life.
Next, drop in the worm found in a bottle of Musquil, watching it dissolve
into the mixture. If the bottom falls out and the worm survives, drink
at your own risk.
Finally, sprinkle into the mixture some Gatorade to commemorate the
lifeforms which have vanished and are becoming extinct, both sentient and
non-sentient, especially those most in need of aid.
If this many Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters are too many for the number of
people you think you are, mix together the following amounts of
ingredients as described above for a single serving.
1) 1 oz. EverClear
2) 4 oz. Bombay Sapphire or Jeremiah Weed
3) 4 oz. Cold Wild Turkey
4) 2 oz. Herredura Tequila
5) 5 oz. Rum
6) 1 worm from bottle of Mezcla
7) 2 oz. Gatorade
This makes one approximately 18 ounce Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster. The
reason this drink seems so large is that Zaphod Beeblebrox has two heads,
so when he created it, it came out to 9 ounces per head, so both were
happy.
Before drinking, eat one olive to create a sweetness in it which is not
there.
Drink very, very extremely carefully at your own risk, and remember where
your towel is (if you can).
Submitter's note: This recipe has been placed into the public domain by
the author, and was previously published in "Mostly Harmless," the
fanzine of the ZZ9 Plural Zed Alpha fan club, Brighton, England.
____ Robert A. Hayden <=> hayden@*******.mankato.msus.edu
\ /__ -=-=-=-=- <=> -=-=-=-=-
\/ / Finger for Geek Code Info <=>
\/ Finger for PGP Public Key <=>
