| From: | "MARTIN E. GOTTHARD" <s457033@*******.GU.EDU.AU> |
|---|---|
| Subject: | [OT] - 1997 Darwin Award (fwd) |
| Date: | Tue, 22 Apr 1997 10:54:14 +1000 |
here's the '97 winner.
Enjoy.
>>>>>DARWIN AWARD WINNER FOR 1997 ANNOUNCED: You all know about the Darwin
>>>>>Awards - It's an annual honor given to the person who did the gene
pool
>>>>>the biggest service by killing themselves in the most extraordinarily
>>>>>stupid way. The 1995 winner was the fellow who was killed by a Coke
>>>>>machine which toppled over on top of him as he was attempting to tip a
>>>>>free soda out of it. In 1996 the winner was an air force sergeant who
>>>>>attached a jet engine (JATO) unit to his car and crashed into a cliff
>>>>>several hundred feet above the road. And now, the 1997 winner: Larry
>>>>>Waters of Los Angeles-one of the few Darwin winners to survive his
>>>>>award-winning accomplishment. Larry's boyhood dream was to fly. When
he
>>>>>graduated from high school, he joined the Air Force in hopes of
becoming a
>>>>>pilot. Unfortunately, poor eyesight disqualified him. When he was
finally
>>>>>discharged, he had to satisfy himself with watching jets fly over his
>>>>>backyard. One day, Larry, had a bright idea. He decided to fly. He
went
>>>>>to the local Army-Navy surplus store and purchased 45 weather balloons
and
>>>>>several tanks of helium. The weather balloons, when fully inflated,
would
>>>>>measure more than four feet across. Back home, Larry securely
strapped
>>>>>the balloons to his sturdy lawn chair.
>>>>>
>>>>>He anchored the chair to the bumper of his jeep and inflated the
balloons
>>>>>with the helium. He climbed on for a test while it was still only a
few
>>>>>feet above the ground.
>>>>>
>>>>>Satisfied it would work, Larry packed several sandwiches and a
six-pack of
>>>>>Miller Lite, loaded his pellet gun--figuring he could pop a few
balloons
>>>>>when it was time to descend--and went back to the floating lawn chair.
He
>>>>>tied himself in along with his pellet gun and provisions. Larry's
plan
>>>>>was to lazily float up to a height of about 30 feet above his back
yard
>>>>>after severing the anchor and in a few hours come back down.
>>>>>
>>>>>Things didn't quite work out that way.
>>>>>
>>>>>When he cut the cord anchoring the lawn chair to his jeep, he didn't
float
>>>>>lazily up to 30 or so feet. Instead he streaked into the LA sky as if
shot
>>>>>from a cannon.
>>>>>
>>>>>He didn't level off at 30 feet, nor did he level off at 100 feet.
After
>>>>>climbing and climbing, he leveled off at 11,000 feet. At that height
he
>>>>>couldn't risk shooting any of the balloons, lest he unbalance the load
and
>>>>>really find himself in trouble. So he stayed there, drifting, cold
and
>>>>>frightened, for more than 14 hours.
>>>>>
>>>>>Then he really got in trouble.
>>>>>
>>>>>He found himself drifting into the primary approach corridor of Los
>>>>>Angeles International Airport.
>>>>>
>>>>>A United pilot first spotted Larry. He radioed the tower and
described
>>>>>passing a guy in a lawn chair with a gun. Radar confirmed the
existence
>>>>>of an object floating 11,000 feet above the airport.
>>>>>
>>>>>LAX emergency procedures swung into full alert and a helicopter was
>>>>>dispatched to investigate.
>>>>>
>>>>>LAX is right on the ocean. Night was falling and the offshore breeze
>>>>>began to flow. It carried Larry out to sea with the helicopter in hot
>>>>>pursuit.
>>>>>
>>>>>Several miles out, the helicopter caught up with Larry. Once the crew
>>>>>determined that Larry was not dangerous, they attempted to close in
for a
>>>>>rescue but the draft from the blades would push Larry away whenever
they
>>>>>neared.
>>>>>
>>>>>Finally, the helicopter ascended to a position several hundred feet
above
>>>>>Larry and lowered a rescue line. Larry snagged the line and was hauled
>>>>>back to shore. The difficult maneuver was flawlessly executed by the
>>>>>helicopter crew.
>>>>>
>>>>>As soon as Larry was hauled to earth, he was arrested by waiting
members
>>>>>of the LAPD for violating LAX airspace.
>>>>>
>>>>>As he was led away in handcuffs, a reporter dispatched to cover the
daring
>>>>>rescue asked why he had done it. Larry stopped, turned and replied
>>>>>nonchalantly, "A man can't just sit around."
>>>>>
>>>>>Let's hear it for Larry Waters, the 1997 Darwin Award Winner.
