| From: | Logan Graves logan1@*****.intercom.net |
|---|---|
| Subject: | [OT] How to annoy people, part 2 |
| Date: | Thu, 04 Feb 1999 19:35:50 -0500 |
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1) Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
2) In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage".
3) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
4) Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public
consisting entirely of "Beeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."
5) If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while
talking to others.
6) Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your
TV and then pointing it at the screen.
7) Speak only in a "robot" voice.
8) Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
9) Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and
announce
that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".
10) Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch
paper,
99 copies.
11) Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
12) Sniffle incessantly.
13) Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
14) Name your dog "Dog".
15) Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather
conditions "to keep them tuned up".
16) Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
17) Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your
"astronaut training".
18) Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your
neighbors
upstairs for "violating your airspace".
19) Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was
a
"real hoot".
20) Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch
with a can of Lysol.
21) Practice making fax and modem noises.
22) Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and copy them
to your boss.
23) Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
24) Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people
play along to avoid the looking ignorant.
25) Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the
neighbors you are a "spider person".
26) Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with
prophesy."
27) Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.
28) Don't add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing
awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any
moment.
29) Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your
ears.
30) Disassemble your pen and "accidently" flip the ink cartridge across
the room.
31) Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal
Howard Cosell voice.
32) Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
--Fenris
______________________________________________________logan1@*****.intercom.net
(>) You were right, nurse, I did already operate on him.
Guess I should close him up again.
(>) Dr. Oscar Schneiderbunk, Shadowcutter.
