| From: | MC23 mc23@**********.com |
|---|---|
| Subject: | Fwd: Plausable Theories |
| Date: | Tue, 2 Feb 99 15:51:06 -0500 |
Thought you would like these. They're the finalists from Omni Magazine's
Plausable Theory Contest.
RUNNERS-UP:
1. If an infinite number of rednecks riding in an infinite number of
pickup
trucks fire an infinite number of shotgun rounds at an infinite number of
highway signs, they will eventually produce all the world's great literary
works in Braille.
2. Why Yawning Is Contagious: You yawn to equalize the pressure on your
eardrums. This pressure change outside your eardrums unbalances other
people's
ear pressures, so they must yawn to even it out.
3. Communist China is technologically underdeveloped because they have no
alphabet and therefore cannot use acronyms to communicate ideas at a
faster
rate.
4. The earth may spin faster on its axis due to deforestation. Just as a
figure skater's rate of spin increases when the arms are brought in close
to
the body, the cutting of tall trees may cause our planet to spin
dangerously
fast.
HONORABLE MENTION: The quantity of consonants in the English language is
constant. If omitted in one place, they turn up in another. When a
Bostonian
"pahks" his "cah,"the lost r's migrate southwest, causing a Texan to
"warsh"
his car and invest in "erl wells."
GRAND PRIZE WINNER: When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet,
and
when toast is dropped, it always lands with the buttered side facing
down. I
propose to strap buttered toast to the back of a cat; the two will hover,
spinning inches above the ground. With a giant buttered cat array, a high-
speed monorail could easily link New York with Chicago.
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