| From: | "Ojaste,James [NCR]" <James.Ojaste@**.GC.CA> |
|---|---|
| Subject: | [repost] Milspec hardened Foo-Foo |
| Date: | Tue, 21 Jul 1998 12:46:47 -0400 |
(me). :-)
>
>Airwasp wrote:
>>In a message dated 98-03-26 18:53:37 EST, you write:
>>
>>> >(Hey, anyone know how big armadillos get? This thing is HUGE!)
>>>
>>> Heh, the biggest armadillo I've seen is large cat or small dog size.
>>>Maybe
>>> 1 ft. high, 2 ft. long.
>>
>>I heard a friend once describe them as being roughly the right size for a
>>hardened "Cod" piece (if you can't figure that one out then take a look
>>between your legs -for the guys that is-).
>
>Looks like it's time for another commercial break. :-)
>
>
>Tired of getting kicked just where you're most sensitive? Worried
>that it may affect your ability to perform?
>
>Hi, I'm Richard Long - president of "Foo-Foo For You". You may
>remember our last production where we demonstrated the wonder that
>is the Foo-Foo 2000. Many of you have written to us with thanks
>for putting the latest in simulated stimulation within the palm of
>your hand. Well, I'm here to let you know that once more, the
>future is now.
>
><RL starts walking through a VR simulation of his narration>
>
>We've all been in this situation - you're dancing with a member of
>the finer sex and she slips. You grab her to keep her upright but
>despite your best efforts, her knee slams into Tab A.
>
><VR sim stops just as knee connects>
>
>Ouch.
>
>Well, we have a solution. The UCAS military has recently contracted
>us to provide them with a combat-ready version of our popular
>Foo-Foo 2200. We've been working night after night producing the
>most perfect Foo-Foo yet.
>
>I present the Foo-Foo 3000! <oohs and aahs as the camera switches
>to what looks like a normal Foo-Foo 2200 lying on a table>
>
>Constructed with only the best space-age materials available, the
>Foo-Foo 3000 provides you with full visual, auditory, and of course
>*tactile* feedback as does the Foo-Foo 2200. But wait - there's more!
>
>When entering a potentially...harmful situation, the Foo-Foo 3000
>will automatically deploy our patented Shure-Stop armoured covering.
>
><camera switches back to Foo-Foo 3000, which deloys shiny black
>armour like the Batmobile>
>
>This armour has been designed and built according to military
>specifications to withstand the toughest abuse in the most deadly
>encounters.
>
><RL picks up hammer and hits the Foo-Foo 3000 - it bounces off>
>
>Not only does the Foo-Foo 3000 protect you against possibly painful
>accidents, but it also comes in several different styles and textures
>including this lovely armadillo and this magnificent alligator.
>
><VR sim continues - man ignores the blow, smiles, and continues dancing>
>
>The Foo-Foo 3000 is available for a limited time only - order yours
>today!
>
><fade to black>
>
>Heh. :-)
>
>James Ojaste
>
