| From: | Spike <u5a77@*****.CS.KEELE.AC.UK> |
|---|---|
| Subject: | Return of the Woodchuck... (sorry) |
| Date: | Wed, 27 Nov 1996 10:41:38 +0000 |
internet oracle for aid in our distress....
Thought you might like to see this, as the woodchuck is the arch-nemesis of
the internet oracle as well.....
It was obviously a tough question, but after a couple of weeks of waiting,
it finally arrived this morn.
|The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
|Your question was:
|
|> Oh Oracle most wise...
|> He who could eradicate all the bugs from every microsoft product ever
|> written without even breaking a sweat, I beseach thee.....
|>
|> Recently, the shadowrn mailing list has become infested with woodchucks.
|> In addition to the offending question, they have begun to discuss
|> cyber-enhanced woodchucks and magically active ones.....
|>
|> For example:
|>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Begin sordid extract
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
|>
|> <* Offending question snipped* >
|>
|> > >As much wood as a woodchuck would chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood...
|> > >
|> > >if that makes any sense at all... which is very doubtful....
|> > >
|> > >Crucible
|> >
|> > So why exactly can't a woodchuck chuck wood?
|> >
|> > Peace and Long Life,
|> >
|> > Scott
|> >
|>
|> Cause a woodchucks job of chucking wood is not a job that a wood chuck
|> would do because a woodchuck doesnt know how much wood a woodchuck could
|> chuck therefore the whole union is in disarray over work standards for
|> the average woodchuck... I mean whose to say that one woodchuck isnt a
|> hard worker cause another woodchuck can chuck more wood that the former
|> woodchuck... then we get to beasts such as the "animal formerly known as
|> woodchuck"... All he wants to do is sing about female woodchucks...
|>
|> So maybe the procreation of the woodchuck isnt going to well cause all
|> the men are out trying to find out how much wood a woodchuck can chuck if
|> a woodchuck could chuck wood... and the females are moving away
|> unfulfilled... therefore until we find a method of giving the woodchucks
|> throwing ability the whole species shall die cause none of them are out
|> having sex.. instead trying to formulate a plan to chuck the most wood....
|>
|>
|> Join the save the Woodchuck society...
|> Can someone please come up with a method by which a woodchuck can chuck
|> wood and save the entire populace....
|>
|>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
End Sordid Extract
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
|>
|> My question is this....
|> What is the best Woodchuckicide that is also harmless to mailing list
|> software, and where can I get some?
|>
|
|And in response, thus spake the Oracle:
|
|} The best woodchuckicide is actually an all natural compound called
|} CHUCK-NO-MORE. CHUCK-NO-MORE is an ACME product containing 94%
|} tazmanian-devil saliva, and 35% peppe-le-pu scent. CHUCK-NO-MORE is
|} guaranteed to drive out all woodchucks (and anything else for that
|} matter). Being all natural, it is completely safe for all your "
|} woodchuck in the software" problems. CHUCK-NO-MORE can be found at your
|} local ACME distributer.
|
--
______________________________________________________________________________
|u5a77@*****.cs.keele.ac.uk| |
|Andrew Halliwell | "ARSE! GERLS!! DRINK! DRINK! DRINK!!!" |
|Principal subjects in:- | "THAT WOULD BE AN ECUMENICAL MATTER!...FECK!!!! |
|Comp Sci & Electronics | - Father Jack in "Father Ted"
|
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|X+/++ R+ tv+ b+ D G e>PhD h/h+ !r! !y-|I can't say F**K either now! >*SULK*<|
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