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Mailing List Logs for ShadowRN

Message no. 1
From: chimerae@***.ie chimerae@***.ie
Subject: FW: Virus Warning .... finally one you can forward without fear
Date: Fri, 19 Feb 1999 22:55:46 +0000
Got this one today and almost deleted it automatically. I thought
that the list could use some grins with all the flames going on.

> ***-- VIRUS WARNING from --***
> Folks, I don't normally send out virus warnings, but this
> one is extremely serious. Please read very carefully and
> take care!
> If you receive an email entitled "Crazy Times" delete it
> immediately. Do not open it! Apparently this one is pretty
> nasty.
> It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it
> will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your
> computer.
> It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards.
> It reprograms your ATM access code, messes up the tracking
> on your VCR and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any
> CD's you attempt to play.
> It will re-calibrate your refrigerator's coolness settings
> so all your ice cream melts and your milk curdles.
> It will program your phone autodial to call only your
> mother-in-law's number.
> This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank.
> It will drink all your beer.
> It will leave dirty socks on the coffee table when you are
> expecting company.
> Its radioactive emissions will cause your toe jam and
> bellybutton fuzz (be honest, you have some) to migrate
> behind your ears.
> It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with
> Rogaine, all while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind
> your back and billing their hotel rendezvous to your Visa
> card.
> It will cause you to run with scissors and throw things in a
> way that is only fun until someone loses an eye.
> It will give you Dutch Elm Disease and Tinea.
> It will rewrite your backup files, changing all your active
> verbs to passive tense and incorporating undetectable
> misspellings which grossly change the interpretations of key
> sentences.
> If the "Crazy Times" message is opened in a Windows 95
> environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your
> hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub.
> It will not only remove the tags from your mattresses and
> pillows, but it will also refill your skimmed milk with
> whole milk.
> It will replace all your luncheon meat with Spam.
> It will molecularly rearrange your cologne or perfume,
> causing it to smell like dill pickles.(Remember Brut 33 ?)
> It is insidious and subtle.
> It is dangerous and terrifying to behold.
> It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.
> These are just a few signs of infection.

Karina & Martin Steffens

Further Reading

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These messages were posted a long time ago on a mailing list far, far away. The copyright to their contents probably lies with the original authors of the individual messages, but since they were published in an electronic forum that anyone could subscribe to, and the logs were available to subscribers and most likely non-subscribers as well, it's felt that re-publishing them here is a kind of public service.