Back to the main page

Mailing List Logs for ShadowRN

Message no. 1
From: Sight Unseen <toabo@****.UTEXAS.EDU>
Subject: Woodchucks
Date: Sun, 3 Nov 1996 00:57:28 -0500
>>
>> How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
>>
>> ;)
>>
>> -David
>
>As much wood as a woodchuck would chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood...
>
>if that makes any sense at all... which is very doubtful....
>
>Crucible

So why exactly can't a woodchuck chuck wood?

Peace and Long Life,

Scott
Message no. 2
From: The Crucible <crucible@******.MUR.CSU.EDU.AU>
Subject: Re: Woodchucks
Date: Sun, 3 Nov 1996 14:20:26 +1100
> >>
> >> How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
> >>
> >> ;)
> >>
> >> -David
> >
> >As much wood as a woodchuck would chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood...
> >
> >if that makes any sense at all... which is very doubtful....
> >
> >Crucible
>
> So why exactly can't a woodchuck chuck wood?
>
> Peace and Long Life,
>
> Scott
>

Cause a woodchucks job of chucking wood is not a job that a wood chuck
would do because a woodchuck doesnt know how much wood a woodchuck could
chuck therefore the whole union is in disarray over work standards for
the average woodchuck... I mean whose to say that one woodchuck isnt a
hard worker cause another woodchuck can chuck more wood that the former
woodchuck... then we get to beasts such as the "animal formerly known as
woodchuck"... All he wants to do is sing about female woodchucks...

So maybe the procreation of the woodchuck isnt going to well cause all
the men are out trying to find out how much wood a woodchuck can chuck if
a woodchuck could chuck wood... and the females are moving away
unfulfilled... therefore until we find a method of giving the woodchucks
throwing ability the whole species shall die cause none of them are out
having sex.. instead trying to formulate a plan to chuck the most wood....


Join the save the Woodchuck society...
Can someone please come up with a method by which a woodchuck can chuck
wood and save the entire populace....

Crucible

/----------------------------------------------------------------\
|email: |
| crucible@******.mur.csu.edu.au (Use this one first)|
| crucible@******.net |
| 94043950@********.mur.csu.edu.au (Student account) |
|homepage: http://itclub.mur.csu.edu.au/~crucible/ |
\----------------------------------------------------------------/
Message no. 3
From: "Steven A. Tinner" <bluewizard@*****.COM>
Subject: Re: Woodchucks
Date: Sat, 2 Nov 1996 23:44:29 -0800
> > So why exactly can't a woodchuck chuck wood?

Uhhmm. . . Actually Awakened Woodchucks can. :-)

They can also chew your legs off if you step in their burrow!

<No, I don't have stats. Just use the Burrowing Beaver's stats, and
alter the picture a little.>

Steven A. Tinner
"Gnawgnawgnawgnaw."
Message no. 4
From: Bull <chaos@*****.COM>
Subject: Re: Woodchucks
Date: Sun, 3 Nov 1996 00:13:21 -0500
>>>As much wood as a woodchuck would chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood...
>>
>>if that makes any sense at all... which is very doubtful....
>>
>>Crucible
>
> So why exactly can't a woodchuck chuck wood?
>
No opposable thumbs...:)

-Bull-the-I-can't-believe-we're-having-this-conversation-decker-turned-GM

".sig file not included"
Message no. 5
From: "aloeber@***.rhein-zeitung.de" <aloeber@***.RHEIN-ZEITUNG.DE>
Subject: Re: Woodchucks
Date: Sun, 3 Nov 1996 10:11:31 +0000
Let's form a fund to buy chainsaws for the woodchucks :)
Myrddin a.k.a. Andreas Loeber
Message no. 6
From: Spike <u5a77@*****.CS.KEELE.AC.UK>
Subject: Re: Woodchucks
Date: Sun, 3 Nov 1996 13:22:49 +0000
| So why exactly can't a woodchuck chuck wood?

No hands.....
Obvious when you think about it....

--
______________________________________________________________________________
|u5a77@*****.cs.keele.ac.uk| |
|Andrew Halliwell | "ARSE! GERLS!! DRINK! DRINK! DRINK!!!" |
|Principal subjects in:- | "THAT WOULD BE AN ECUMENICAL MATTER!...FECK!!!! |
|Comp Sci & Electronics | - Father Jack in "Father Ted"
|
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|GCv3.1 GCS/EL>$ d---(dpu) s+/- a- C++ U N++ K- w-- M+/++ PS+++ PE- Y t+ 5++ |
|X+/++ R+ tv+ b+ D G e>PhD h/h+ !r! !y-|I can't say F**K either now! >*SULK*<|
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Message no. 7
From: Spike <u5a77@*****.CS.KEELE.AC.UK>
Subject: Re: Woodchucks
Date: Sun, 3 Nov 1996 13:26:13 +0000
|Join the save the Woodchuck society...
|Can someone please come up with a method by which a woodchuck can chuck
|wood and save the entire populace....

Apart from this last bit, I think that would have made it into the Internet
Oracles "Oracularities"......
--
______________________________________________________________________________
|u5a77@*****.cs.keele.ac.uk| |
|Andrew Halliwell | "ARSE! GERLS!! DRINK! DRINK! DRINK!!!" |
|Principal subjects in:- | "THAT WOULD BE AN ECUMENICAL MATTER!...FECK!!!! |
|Comp Sci & Electronics | - Father Jack in "Father Ted"
|
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|GCv3.1 GCS/EL>$ d---(dpu) s+/- a- C++ U N++ K- w-- M+/++ PS+++ PE- Y t+ 5++ |
|X+/++ R+ tv+ b+ D G e>PhD h/h+ !r! !y-|I can't say F**K either now! >*SULK*<|
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Message no. 8
From: Jamal Hall <flare@*****.COM>
Subject: Re: Woodchucks
Date: Sun, 3 Nov 1996 08:53:15 -0500
>>>
>>> How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
>>>
>>> ;)
>>>
>>> -David
>>
>
>>>>>>>[SNIP]<<<<<<<

Does he have any cyberwear ranging from titanium choppers "teeth"
to say night vision implants so he can chuck all night, what other funky
cyber wear can you think of to help a woodchunk chunk wood?


¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥=
¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥=
¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥=
¥
¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥=
¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥=
¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥=
¥¥¥¥¥
_ _ __ __ _ __
| | / \ | \ / | / \ | |
| | / O \ | \/ | / O \ | |
_ | | / _ \ | | / _ \ | |
| |_/ / / / \ \ | |\ /| | / / \ \ | |____
\____/ /__/ \__\ |__| \/ |__| /__/ \__\ |_______|

¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥=
¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥=
¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥=
¥
¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥=
¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥=
¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥=
¥
¥¥¥¥
Message no. 9
From: Sight Unseen <toabo@****.UTEXAS.EDU>
Subject: Re: Woodchucks
Date: Sun, 3 Nov 1996 18:37:19 -0500
>Cause a woodchucks job of chucking wood is not a job that a wood chuck
>would do because a woodchuck doesnt know how much wood a woodchuck could
>chuck therefore the whole union is in disarray over work standards for
>the average woodchuck... I mean whose to say that one woodchuck isnt a
>hard worker cause another woodchuck can chuck more wood that the former
>woodchuck... then we get to beasts such as the "animal formerly known as
>woodchuck"... All he wants to do is sing about female woodchucks...
>
>So maybe the procreation of the woodchuck isnt going to well cause all
>the men are out trying to find out how much wood a woodchuck can chuck if
>a woodchuck could chuck wood... and the females are moving away
>unfulfilled... therefore until we find a method of giving the woodchucks
>throwing ability the whole species shall die cause none of them are out
>having sex.. instead trying to formulate a plan to chuck the most wood....
>
>
>Join the save the Woodchuck society...
>Can someone please come up with a method by which a woodchuck can chuck
>wood and save the entire populace....
>
>Crucible

It is gratifying to see that even in the harsh, uncaring reality
that is life on the streets of 2057, there remain decent individuals who
still care for the little guy in the wilderness: the woodchuck. <smirk>
Message no. 10
From: The Crucible <crucible@******.MUR.CSU.EDU.AU>
Subject: Re: Woodchucks
Date: Mon, 4 Nov 1996 09:31:16 +1100
> Let's form a fund to buy chainsaws for the woodchucks :)
> Myrddin a.k.a. Andreas Loeber
>

Good idea.. then we could use the profits etc from the woodchuck logging
company to fund the Shadowrun movie....
(*sigh* This is getting -really- stupid... keep it going :P)

Crucible

/----------------------------------------------------------------\
|email: |
| crucible@******.mur.csu.edu.au (Use this one first)|
| crucible@******.net |
| 94043950@********.mur.csu.edu.au (Student account) |
|homepage: http://itclub.mur.csu.edu.au/~crucible/ |
\----------------------------------------------------------------/
Message no. 11
From: The Crucible <crucible@******.MUR.CSU.EDU.AU>
Subject: Re: Woodchucks
Date: Mon, 4 Nov 1996 09:41:25 +1100
> |Join the save the Woodchuck society...
> |Can someone please come up with a method by which a woodchuck can chuck
> |wood and save the entire populace....
>
> Apart from this last bit, I think that would have made it into the Internet
> Oracles "Oracularities"......
> --

Okay.... I'll bite.... is there an Internet Oracle? Where? Am I deranged
enough to bother reading this..... and why not edit the last bit out then
:P I didnt copyright it *grin*

Crucible

/----------------------------------------------------------------\
|email: |
| crucible@******.mur.csu.edu.au (Use this one first)|
| crucible@******.net |
| 94043950@********.mur.csu.edu.au (Student account) |
|homepage: http://itclub.mur.csu.edu.au/~crucible/ |
\----------------------------------------------------------------/
Message no. 12
From: Shad Owens <shadow@******.LINFIELD.EDU>
Subject: Re: Woodchucks
Date: Sun, 3 Nov 1996 15:17:32 -0800
Ok, I give up -- what exactly is a woodchuck?
I know Beavers, and believe me,
they can chuck wood -- so maybe we should bow to natural selection and
let the obviously more adept Beaver rule the wilderness.

Jennie, from the Beaver State (aka Tir Tan')
Message no. 13
From: The Crucible <crucible@******.MUR.CSU.EDU.AU>
Subject: Re: Woodchucks
Date: Mon, 4 Nov 1996 10:52:32 +1100
> Ok, I give up -- what exactly is a woodchuck?
> I know Beavers, and believe me,
> they can chuck wood -- so maybe we should bow to natural selection and
> let the obviously more adept Beaver rule the wilderness.
>
> Jennie, from the Beaver State (aka Tir Tan')
>

Yes Mrs Darwin... I'm sure you'd like that... after convincing your
husband about the finches of gallapogus island (where natural selection
wasnt employed it was only mutation due to french nuclear testing) you
would like us to sacrafice the Woodchuck to the beaver population! Well
we shall not! The Woodchuck is our friend... and I have a dislike for
beaver lovers trying to destroy woodchucks... (btw Do we have any
woodchuck shamans?)

(NB The kind people at The Beechworth Mental Hospital do not agree nor
take any responsibility for the ramblings of this patient)

Crucible

/----------------------------------------------------------------\
|email: |
| crucible@******.mur.csu.edu.au (Use this one first)|
| crucible@******.net |
| 94043950@********.mur.csu.edu.au (Student account) |
|homepage: http://itclub.mur.csu.edu.au/~crucible/ |
\----------------------------------------------------------------/
Message no. 14
From: Sight Unseen <toabo@****.UTEXAS.EDU>
Subject: Re: Woodchucks
Date: Mon, 4 Nov 1996 01:31:51 -0500
> (btw Do we have any woodchuck shamans?)

Aren't they just like big Prarie Dog shamans?

Peace and Long Life,

Scott
Message no. 15
From: Spike <u5a77@*****.CS.KEELE.AC.UK>
Subject: Re: Woodchucks
Date: Mon, 4 Nov 1996 12:16:17 +0000
|Okay.... I'll bite.... is there an Internet Oracle? Where? Am I deranged
|enough to bother reading this..... and why not edit the last bit out then
|:P I didnt copyright it *grin*

The internet oracle is to be found at the newsgroup rec.humor.oracle, with
discussion about his wisdom in rec.humor.oracle.d.

Whatr happens is, you send an e-mail with the subject ASK ME or TELL ME.

If it's TELL ME, you then send a message containing a suitable grovel and a
question for the oracle to answer.

In return, you get a question from someone else to answer.

The funniest answers of the week get posted to rec.humor.oracle where people
can vote for the best.....

If you send ASK ME as the subject, you just get a question to answer.....

(Oh, and whatever you do, don't ask the woodchuck question. You'll get
ZOTted for sure.... The oracle has a bounty on woodchucks......)

--
______________________________________________________________________________
|u5a77@*****.cs.keele.ac.uk| |
|Andrew Halliwell | "ARSE! GERLS!! DRINK! DRINK! DRINK!!!" |
|Principal subjects in:- | "THAT WOULD BE AN ECUMENICAL MATTER!...FECK!!!! |
|Comp Sci & Electronics | - Father Jack in "Father Ted"
|
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|GCv3.1 GCS/EL>$ d---(dpu) s+/- a- C++ U N++ K- w-- M+/++ PS+++ PE- Y t+ 5++ |
|X+/++ R+ tv+ b+ D G e>PhD h/h+ !r! !y-|I can't say F**K either now! >*SULK*<|
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Message no. 16
From: Dane Jensen <djensen@*********.COM>
Subject: Re: Woodchucks
Date: Tue, 5 Nov 1996 19:54:52 -0800
At 01:22 PM 11/3/96 +0000, you wrote:
>| So why exactly can't a woodchuck chuck wood?
>
>No hands.....
>Obvious when you think about it....

How about a fund to but cyberarms for the woodchucks and train them how to
use them??

Psyber
Message no. 17
From: The Crucible <crucible@******.MUR.CSU.EDU.AU>
Subject: Re: Woodchucks
Date: Wed, 6 Nov 1996 15:04:23 +1100
> >| So why exactly can't a woodchuck chuck wood?
> >
> >No hands.....
> >Obvious when you think about it....
>
> How about a fund to but cyberarms for the woodchucks and train them how to
> use them??
>
> Psyber
>

Already been brought up... but why stop there? Give them monofilament
whips/swords/woodchopping devices... Give them cyber eyes so they can
tell which trees would be best to chop down... We could make a full
industry of the woodchucks if the RSPCA doesnt step in.....

Crucible
Message no. 18
From: Dvixen <dvixen@********.COM>
Subject: Re: Woodchucks
Date: Wed, 6 Nov 1996 01:00:20 -0800
> > How about a fund to but cyberarms for the woodchucks and train them
how to
> > use them??
>
> Already been brought up... but why stop there? Give them monofilament
> whips/swords/woodchopping devices... Give them cyber eyes so they can
> tell which trees would be best to chop down... We could make a full
> industry of the woodchucks if the RSPCA doesnt step in.....

How about spell-throwing, err... that should be *spell-chucking*
woodchucks?
Message no. 19
From: Spike <u5a77@*****.CS.KEELE.AC.UK>
Subject: Re: Woodchucks
Date: Wed, 6 Nov 1996 11:17:54 +0000
|At 01:22 PM 11/3/96 +0000, you wrote:
|>| So why exactly can't a woodchuck chuck wood?
|>
|>No hands.....
|>Obvious when you think about it....
|
|How about a fund to but cyberarms for the woodchucks and train them how to
|use them??
|
|Psyber

I'm sorry...
It's got to be done...
I have no choice, y'see....
I don't want to do it you understand, but Mr Flibble told me to...

###
##### # # # # ## ##### ###
# # # # # # # # # ###
# ###### # # # # # # #
# # # # ## # ###### #####
# # # ## ## # # # ###
# # # # # # # # ###


--
______________________________________________________________________________
|u5a77@*****.cs.keele.ac.uk| |
|Andrew Halliwell | "ARSE! GERLS!! DRINK! DRINK! DRINK!!!" |
|Principal subjects in:- | "THAT WOULD BE AN ECUMENICAL MATTER!...FECK!!!! |
|Comp Sci & Electronics | - Father Jack in "Father Ted"
|
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|GCv3.1 GCS/EL>$ d---(dpu) s+/- a- C++ U N++ K- w-- M+/++ PS+++ PE- Y t+ 5++ |
|X+/++ R+ tv+ b+ D G e>PhD h/h+ !r! !y-|I can't say F**K either now! >*SULK*<|
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Message no. 20
From: Spike <u5a77@*****.CS.KEELE.AC.UK>
Subject: Re: Woodchucks
Date: Wed, 6 Nov 1996 11:25:48 +0000
|How about spell-throwing, err... that should be *spell-chucking*
|woodchucks?

But then it wouldn't BE a woodchuck, it'd be a spellchuck....

Totally different kettle of fish, that is....

--
______________________________________________________________________________
|u5a77@*****.cs.keele.ac.uk| |
|Andrew Halliwell | "ARSE! GERLS!! DRINK! DRINK! DRINK!!!" |
|Principal subjects in:- | "THAT WOULD BE AN ECUMENICAL MATTER!...FECK!!!! |
|Comp Sci & Electronics | - Father Jack in "Father Ted"
|
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|GCv3.1 GCS/EL>$ d---(dpu) s+/- a- C++ U N++ K- w-- M+/++ PS+++ PE- Y t+ 5++ |
|X+/++ R+ tv+ b+ D G e>PhD h/h+ !r! !y-|I can't say F**K either now! >*SULK*<|
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Message no. 21
From: David Buehrer <dbuehrer@****.ORG>
Subject: Re: Woodchucks
Date: Wed, 6 Nov 1996 06:52:21 -0700
Spike wrote:
|
||How about spell-throwing, err... that should be *spell-chucking*
||woodchucks?
|
|But then it wouldn't BE a woodchuck, it'd be a spellchuck....
|
|Totally different kettle of fish, that is....

How many spells could a spellchuck chuck at a kettle of fish?

<duck & cover>

-David

/^\/^\/^\/^\/^\/^\/^\ dbuehrer@****.org /^\/^\/^\/^\/^\/^\/^\
"His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking
alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free."
~~~http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/1068/homepage.htm~~~~
Message no. 22
From: Caric <caric@*******.COM>
Subject: Re: Woodchucks
Date: Wed, 6 Nov 1996 11:29:59 -0700
> How many spells could a spellchuck chuck at a kettle of fish?
>
> <duck & cover>
>
> -David

Alright thats it...I'm off to develope the spell ManaThwap and when I
return there's gonna be hell to pay!!!! :)



Caric-the-soon-to-be-manathwappin'-mutha
Message no. 23
From: John Pederson <Canthros@***.COM>
Subject: Re: Woodchucks
Date: Thu, 7 Nov 1996 15:37:24 -0500
In a message dated 96-11-06 16:56:52 EST, you write:

>Alright thats it...I'm off to develope the spell ManaThwap and when I
>return there's gonna be hell to pay!!!! :)
>
>
>
>Caric-the-soon-to-be-manathwappin'-mutha
>
>

Interesting...is carp an elemental effect? :)
Stun damage or Physical (I'd say Stun)
What damage level (Serious? Deadly? multiple (so you can have mini-thwaps,
thwaps, mega-thwaps, etc))
Is it a Combat spell or DM?

Could be fun for a loony NPC:)

John-carp-are-our-friends-Pederson
canthros@***.com
http://members.gnn.com/lenoj/johns.htm
Message no. 24
From: Caric <caric@*******.COM>
Subject: Re: Woodchucks
Date: Thu, 7 Nov 1996 17:13:00 -0700
> >Alright thats it...I'm off to develope the spell ManaThwap and when I
> >return there's gonna be hell to pay!!!! :)

> >Caric-the-soon-to-be-manathwappin'-mutha

> Interesting...is carp an elemental effect? :)

The elemental effect of smelly fish I would say ;)

> Stun damage or Physical (I'd say Stun)

Oh definately Stun

> What damage level (Serious? Deadly? multiple (so you can have
mini-thwaps,

Starting at light so you keep drain low and can thwap to your hearts
content :)

> thwaps, mega-thwaps, etc))

Mayhaps thwapblast?

> Is it a Combat spell or DM?

Its a lonnymanipulation...new catagory...fetish is always a rubber chicken
>
> Could be fun for a loony NPC:)

Thats me <grin>

> John-carp-are-our-friends-Pederson

Is it carp or carps?...maybe carpi <shrug>

Caric-the-preparing-for-the-flames-shaman
Message no. 25
From: Jaxon <berjona@****.BEMIDJI.MSUS.EDU>
Subject: Re: Woodchucks
Date: Thu, 7 Nov 1996 21:13:39 -0600
>|How about spell-throwing, err... that should be *spell-chucking*
>|woodchucks?
>
>But then it wouldn't BE a woodchuck, it'd be a spellchuck....
>
not necessarily, you could have a spell that makes a log apear in mid air
and then makes it fly at some target.....
Message no. 26
From: The Crucible <crucible@******.MUR.CSU.EDU.AU>
Subject: Re: Woodchucks
Date: Fri, 8 Nov 1996 14:22:41 +1100
> >|How about spell-throwing, err... that should be *spell-chucking*
> >|woodchucks?
> >
> >But then it wouldn't BE a woodchuck, it'd be a spellchuck....
> >
> not necessarily, you could have a spell that makes a log apear in mid air
> and then makes it fly at some target.....
>
Reminds me of the ADnD spell that turns Pebbles into Boulders.... a
woodchuck could throw a twig... and use a spell to make it into a
tree.... wow... how much tree could a woodchuck chuck it a woodchuck
could chuck twigs?

Crucible

Further Reading

If you enjoyed reading about Woodchucks, you may also be interested in:

Disclaimer

These messages were posted a long time ago on a mailing list far, far away. The copyright to their contents probably lies with the original authors of the individual messages, but since they were published in an electronic forum that anyone could subscribe to, and the logs were available to subscribers and most likely non-subscribers as well, it's felt that re-publishing them here is a kind of public service.

Thwap!