From:	"David R. Henry" <dhenry@******.NODAK.EDU>
Subject:	What's the Necronomicon doing here?
Date:	Mon, 3 May 1993 23:10:55 CDT

Gee, I thought I was lurking in alt.magick for a while here, instead of
lurking on the Shadowrun rules mailer.

> Finally, if you folks out there who think Crowley was really messed up(and he
> was), you should check out "The Necronomicon" by the Mad Arab Al-Hazrad.
It
> really does exist, is based in Sumarian myths and demonology, and was around
> Long before H. P. Lovecraft used it in his Cthulu Mythos stories.

Uh-huh. Yeah. Whatever. Considering that Lovecraft himself is on record
in numerous places saying how he invented the Necronomicon -- let alone
Abdul Al-Hazrad, which was a combination of his boyhood fantasy self (he
loved "1,001 Arabian Nights") and his mother's maiden name (Hazard) --
you'll forgive me if I remain largely unconcerned about finding a shoggoth
in my shower.

> It scares the drek out of me, and I've read it the whole way through.

Which one? Certainly not that sorry paperback that came out a few years back
-- heck, it didn't even mention Cthulhu!! How can you have a Necronomicon
and not mention the Big C? It's in his contract, or something. And I'm
not counting that "Katulu" or whatever they stuck in there. That's just
Koran-swiping.

Of the various Necro's I own, I find the "Lovecraft" tribute one (written
by his friends, and consisting of a bunch of Arabian words just repeated
over and over again) the most amusing, and Giger's collection of art the
most satisfying.

If you insist on worrying about the effeciacy of rituals found in a paperback
book, ask yourself this: would any publisher willingly put out stuff that
could result in heavy lawsuits due to massive property damage and megadeaths
if it really were true?

> I will NEVER own a copy nor perform any of the rituals or use any of the
> symbols within it, as there is no way to banish the demons you summon. But
> I recommend you check it out just to get an idea of just how nasty ancient
> rituals and stuff are.

If you want to deal with real books that were actually written with "ritual
magic" in mind, if not in subject, try out John Dee's only semi-farcical
and largely dull (IMO, of course) astrological spellsmithing. Or, for
true horror, instead of this phoney Cthulhu-cultist stuff, take a trip
through the Malleus Maleficarum, the Inquisition's pocket guide to witch
hunting. More hatred and bile was spewed forth from Sprenger's little
jaunt into social correctedness than any bunch of Crowley shenanigans.

> And they still work today, so don't mutter the rituals as you read.

I see Nyarlathotep is still not returning my calls -- I just chanted
a couple of the pages and I'm still here, happily munching on my pizza.
Maybe he's still mad over losing Risk last week.

> 2 or 3 translators disappeared while translating, and the Mad Arab himself
> was allegedly torn limb from limb by an invisible force just after finishing
> the writing.

Oh, come on. If you're going to believe the whole story, you gotta believe
the whole story. He wasn't eaten alive -- you left out "on a busy street
corner of Damascus" (hope I got the city right, there) -- after just
finishing the Kitab al-Azif. He hung around for a while, wrote a couple of
poems, probably, and maybe had the joy of being chased by the Religious
Police. THEN he died. A lesson to us all, I'm sure we'll all agree.
It's a good thing he died when he did: I hate to think what would happen
if he had written the thing nowadays. The only thing worse than the
Necronomicon could only be the Necronomicon on the Home Shopping Network.

"And, remember, if you call in the next ten minutes, it's only $28.99, a
fantastic bargain as I'm sure you'll agree. Mr. Al-Azrad's right here in
the studio with us, and not only will he autograph your edition, we'll
throw in a Mnarian soapstone necklace for free. Truly, truly a great
bargain."

I'm certain giving my views on the reality of Mr. Crowley's lifeworks would
also violate the sanctity of some of my fellow listers' world views, so I'll
shut up (at last) and return you to you regularly scheduled list.

"Write what ya know, kid."
--Yog-Sothoth to Ludwig Prinn

drh