| From: | chaos@*****.com (Steven Ratkovich) |
|---|---|
| Subject: | Alright, you asked for it...:) |
| Date: | Fri, 20 Sep 1996 09:49:09 -0500 (EST) |
>mailer can handle it). I've been looking for a religious influence for a
>forthcoming campaign, something big, ominious, and nasty, but something
>silly would go right down with my players no end...
>
>Richard.
>
OK, you asked for it Rich, and for any others out there even the least bit
curious, here it is. I warn you, it makes Tinner gasp for breath, and I
admit, it is rather odd. However,according to Awakenings, it's entirly
possible...;-)
Enjoy... (Boy, I hope there's enough room)
The First Church of Elvis
By Bull
>>>>>[This file came through recently, and although the facts are a bit
sketchy and hard to verify, it fits the existing facts known about the First
Church of Elvis. Bull is somewhat known in the shadows and I can personally
vouch for him. This an odd, but interesting file, chummers, enjoy.]<<<<<
-Capt. Chaos (12:02:46/04-10-57)
History
In the year 202 in Mobile, Alabama, a man by the name of Moses Presley gave
the first sermon in what was soon to become a huge religion in the South,
and later throughout the CAS and reaching into the UCAS, several of the NAN
lands, and even into California Free State. Moses told his small
congregation that his great great uncle, the late Elvis Presley, had come to
him in a vision and proclaimed to him that he was creating a new Heaven, and
that Moses was his first Apostle.
>>>>>[I had a vision of Elvis once, but it cam after eating too many
soy-chips during one of his old moves, "Blue Hawaii".]<<<<<
-Indy Jestion (18:03:21/04-12-57)
>>>>>[Blasphemer! You shall burn beneath the righteous fury of the
King!]<<<<<
-Hound Dog (15:44:29/04-13-57)
Moses gathered several of his friends and members of the local Elvis Fan
Club and began preaching to them on the glories of the King of Rock and
Roll. Whether due to his unique message, his charasmatic nature, or the
undying popularity of Elvis Presley, the Church of Elvis grew rapidly and
within three years, Jhon Stoat, the Second Apostle of Elvis, was spoken to
by the King himself. Stoat took over the Mobile church, and Moses moved to
Nashville, Tennessee, where he started a church that became, in time, the
largest single church of any kind in Northern America.
>>>>>[Seattle has 3 such churches currently, and let me tell you, they are
REALLY wierd. Most of the priests look -exactly- like Elvis, including the
Priestesses!]<<<<<
-Mott (20:12:37/04-11-57)
>>>>>[Really? Do you think it's cosmetic surgery?]<<<<<
-Confused (13:54:49/04-13-57)
>>>>>[I've heard it's part of some ritual it is they undergo to become
Priests, or whatever.]<<<<<
-Crinky (15:21:09/04-14-57)
The Church has been growing steadily ever since, and currently boasts over
2,000 churches in North America, and over 35,000 members worldwide. Moses
Presely is currently trying to start churches in Atzlan, Hawai'i, and
Europe, although he is meeting considerable resistance in Atzlan and Hawai'i.
>>>>>[That's because we Hawai'ins don't want none of them freaks running
around our Islands. And the Azzies don't want them either.]<<<<<
-Make (16:09:41/04-12-57)
>>>>>[But I thought Blue Hawaii was a big hit over
there?]<<<<<
-Confused (14:04:56/04-13-57)
>>>>>[That was when Haoulies controlled the Islands, drekhead. That movie
reminds us of a time when we were governed by morons.]<<<<<
-Mako (19:55:21/04-15-57)
The Church
Members of the church often see visions of Elvis, speak in songs (similar to
tongues, but it involves singing old Elvis hits in His voice), are visited
by teh messenger Hound Dog, and in general are considered fruitcakes by the
general public. Worshipers often build shrines in their front yards, using
large ceramic Elvis statues and loudspeakers playing His music 24-7.
>>>>>[Oh boy, this is TOO much! ROTFL!]<<<<<
-Why me? (XX:XX:XX/**-**-**)
>>>>>[Don't laugh too much. I make a killing selling these things to the
Elvites. <grin>]<<<<<
-Ceramic Chris (18:33:40/04-12-57)
Services are held twice a week, on Mondays and Fridays, and they consider
three dates to be religious holidays, and these are: His birthday, June 23;
His Death, Oct. 14; and the day he cut his first album for his Momma,
Auguast 17. His birthday they celebrate like Christmas, by giving gifts and
singing His carols. On the Anniverary of His Death, they have a day of
mourning. And on teh Day of First Song, they have Mardi Gras style festival
with parades and street celebrations.
(NOTE: I don't know, nor do I truly care what the actual dates are on
this... Under the strange occurance that this ever got published, I WOULD
correct those. Also, the world would end.)
>>>>>[You should see these guys on the so-called Day of First Song. They
make the mardi gras look tame.]<<<<<
-FYI (21:09:29/04-11-57)
Members of the Church of Elvis become Priests only after having seen a
vision of the King and being told to begin a new work, as a missionary or
starting a new church. They also gain Magical Powers, which will be
discussed later on in this post. Theyt recieve the full blessing of the
current Churchand after performing the Ritual of Elvis (the details of which
are not known, and I couldn'tdrag the info out of anyone.), they are sent
off to their new ministry area, and are funded by the parent church for the
first year.
>>>>>[From what I've heard, the Ritual involves sacrificially burning
several modern music chips to the King.]<<<<<
-Dee Dee (23:00:49/04-11-57)
>>>>>[It ain't chips they're sacrificing, Dee... It's
unbelievers.]<<<<<
-Uh Huh (17:36:10/04-14-57)
Becoming a member of the Church involves a total devotrion to the King. One
may attend the Church without becoming a member, but you are required to
become a member before you can participate in Church Events or be admitted
to the Inner Council of Elvis, the rulers of the Church. Usually, a large
tithe is required as part of the membership process, although what else goes
on is not known. The members refuse to talk about it, and no one is known
to have quit the Church.
>>>>>[Like giving all your money to a church is anything new. That's a
scam
that churches have been pulling for centuries...]<<<<<
-Scammed (17:09:57/04-12-57)
Magic
The Priests of Elvis have recently been described as shamans, although the
term is often disputed by other, "true" Shamans. However, the
"visions" of
Elvis, the way they cast their spells, and the way they think all point
toward the Shamanic Tradition of spellcasting.
>>>>>[First the God Totem, now Elvis! What's next, Chocolate
Shamans?]<<<<<
-Skeptic (13:49:25/04-12-57)
>>>>>[Hey, you never know what''l pop up next. Shamanism comes more from
within than without. It's a psychological more than anything. Your totem
just gives you a focus for your magic. For more on this, check out the
Awakenings post a couple boards over.]<<<<<
-Silicon Mage (21:41:33/04-13-57)
While most priests start their own church, not all are cut out for
leadership positions. These become Missionaries of Elvis, and attempt to
preach to the masses on the streets. While they have the same magical
abilities as the Priests, their spells more often than not run toward combat
spells. The Missionaries are often more fanatical than the Priests, and
they often attempt to deal harshly with "blasphemers" against the King.
>>>>>[I met up with one of these "Missionaries" once. I told him
to go hop,
and he went nut! He strated yelling and screaming that I'm a blasphemer and
that I must die! The next thing I know this big spirit that looked like a
huge dog (hound?) is rippin' into me. I managed to banish it, but just
barely. These guys are wackos, pure and simple.]<<<<<
-Eagleman (18:23:43/04-11-57)
>>>>>[I think you got away easy. You're lucky he didn't stick it to you
while you were fighting that spirit. I saw a Misionarry one time who cast
one huge Hellblast to take out a single man who told him to frag off.
Unfortunatealy, they were in the middle of a crowded shopping mall, and he
took out 23 people with taht spell.]<<<<<
-Lucky Jeddy )19:05:49/04-12-57)
The next section of this is actually gaming stats, so if you might find
yourself playing against the FCoE, don't read it... Like that'll happen.:)
Gaming Stuff.....
Becoming a Priest of Elvis involves becoming a member of the Church, and
undergoing the Rite of Elvis (joining teh Church) as well as the Ritual of
Elvis (being annointed by the Head Priests and being sent off on their
mission). Unless the player wants to run the Church (which would leave VERY
little room for shadowrunning), he will be a Missionary Priest poreaching to
the masses.
The Rite of Elvis involves giving at least half your worldly goods to the
Church, as well as several purifying rites including watching every Elvis
movie made in one sitting, while fasting. There are several other, similar
rituals, most of which are to prove your devotion to He of the Thrusting
Pelvis. After this Rite, which lasts one week, the worshipper is admitted
to the Membership of the Church of Elvis.
Because of the tithes that the member is required to give, strating
character get only half their starting cash resources to buy equipment.
This is made up for in bonuses that Elvis gives to His Priests.
The Ritual of Elvis is nothing more than a farewell party given by the
Council of Elvis and the Head Priest of Elvis, although the regualar member
and other attendents of the church never know that it is a party. The
details are deliberately kept secret to enhance the mystery of the Priests
of Elvis. However, at some point during the Ritual, the new Priest
transforms and becomes a close copy of teh King. Even females under go this
change, although they remain female...
Elvis Totem
Shamans of teh Elvis Totem (called Priests or Missionaries) believe that
Elvis is a new god, and that he has vreated a heaven especially for His
followers if they are faithful and follow his teachings. Mostly, this
includes listening to His music, watching His movies, and spreading His
glory. Priests and Missionaries often distribute audio chips or video chips
of the King to promote Him. Priests believe in brotherly love, but teh
Missionaries believe that all should wordhip Elvis, and that blasphemers
should be killed.
Favored Environment: Any city or inhabited place where there are potential
converts.
Advatages: (priests) +2 Health and Manipulation Spells
(Missionaries) +2 Combat and Manipulation Spells
Disadvant: (Priests) -1/2 starting resources (money) and -1 Comabt
Spells
(Missionaries) -1/2 Starting Resources (money) and -1 Health
Spells
Whew! Lots of typing today... Hope at least one person finds this
entertaining...:)
Ummm, this is Copyrighted 1996 by Steven Ratkovich, but feel free to use it,
print it, or wipe you buttocks with it...:)
Oh, and I half expect the flames, so.... Go ahead...:)
#######################################################
# -Bull, aka Chaos, aka Rak, aka Steven Ratkovich #
# chaos@*****.com #
# Order is Illusion! Chaos is Bliss! Got any fours? #
#######################################################
"You do more damage out of simple irritation than most
men can do in a towering rage."
-David Eddings, "Demon Lord of Karanda
