From:	"Ojaste,James [NCR]" <James.Ojaste@**.GC.CA>
Subject:	Re: Cybertorso and genitals
Date:	Fri, 12 Dec 1997 09:28:04 -0500

James Lindsay[SMTP:jlindsay@******.CA] wrote:
> Hmmm... Can I get *just* the cyber "foo-foo" and forget the torso? Does it
> come with an Autopilot? How 'bout a remote control? Is it "waldoed" for
> easy removal so you can leave it at home with your "significant other" when
> you go on a run?
>
> These questions need answers!!!

ROTFL!

Well, you've come to the right place, sir. Hi, I'm Richard
Long, and I'm the president of "Foo-Foo For You". We're in
the business of restoring or enhancing the abilities of your
special little friend.

You may ask, "Is it expensive"? Well, let me ask you, how
important is the happiness of your significant other? How
far would you go to ensure that your comforting presence
would always be near? With our latest model, the Foo-Foo
2000, you can go as far as you like.

<RL waves at various phallus lying on the table before him>

We stock variations in all shapes, sizes, colours and textures,
or we can have one custom molded to *your* specifications.
For only 2000=Y=, we can get your John Thomas standing tall
again. For an extra 1500=Y=, we can provide you with a
detachable base and your SO will never be alone again. And
for just 5000=Y=, that's right, just 5000=Y=, we can provide
you with a full remote interface that will provide the full
SimSense experience over the Matrix, no matter where you are.

Imagine, no more lying awake nights, wondering if your wife
is having an affair with your neighbour. Now you can know.
That's right. Our scientists have just come up with a whole
new range of experiences. With the wonders of modern technology,
we have taken the Foo-Foo 2000 and produced the Foo-Foo 2200 -
capable of movement, visual *and* auditory feedback. Total
comfort and peace of mind, and for only 10,000=Y=.

Each Foo-Foo 2000 and Foo-Foo 2200 is made from space-age
materials, and is constructed with the highest possible quality.
Run - don't walk to a cyber-clinic near you!

And remember, I'm not only the president, I'm also a client.

<One of the Foo-Foo 2200s on the table turns to point directly
at the camera>

<fade to black>


:-)

James Ojaste