| From: | Brian Moore <mooreb@*****.FAC.COM> |
|---|---|
| Subject: | [OT] I talk to GOD |
| Date: | Wed, 24 Dec 1997 15:30:26 -0500 |
If you are easily offended by religious discussions, please delete and
disregard this message. You have been warned.
Alright, you're still here. That's good. You should listen to
everything I have to say, because it IS important, and it IS Right.
I talk to God. Many years ago, he told me that SRII was the One
True Gaming System (hereafter abbreviated OTGS). He told me that if
I didn't want to Burn In H***, I had to play by the published rules
of every ShadowRun sourcebook, adventure, and novel. Remember, this
was God telling me to do it, so it had to be Right.
Initially I had some problems. There were things that, to my
imperfect human perception, appeared to be contradictory. I had to
ask God what certain rules meant, but he was happy to tell me how to
play. For example, the rules on Watchers in the Grimoire say that
they can't affect the real world. Contradicting this, the Corp Sec
book has a little story about a Sec Mage who tells a Watcher to push
an alarm button if it sees anything wrong astrally. Fortunately, God
cleared this little problem up for me during a little talk I had with
Him in 1995. Good thing, I don't want to play Wrong, or D*** my
players to Burn In H*** for all eternity. For the rest of you, I
recommend you start talking to God so you can Save yourselves and
your players.
By the way, I could pass on His words concerning things like the
right way to round Karma, or whether or not you can ground through
Quickened spells, but I won't. You'll have to ask Him yourself.
Unfortunately, I don't think He'll talk to any of you. After all,
you've all been playing ShadowRun WRONG all this time. He considers
it Blasphemy, he told me! He also told me that my gaming group will
be the only one in Heaven, that's how I know I'm the only one doing
it Right!
If you really wish to repent, then here are some guidelines to
go by. As I said before, you have to use ALL of the official FASA
Sourcebooks, adventures, and novels in your game. If an official
FASA product comes out that contradicts something you're doing in
your game, then you have to retroactively change your game so it was
always right. You can't just cover up your mistakes, God will know.
Failure to retroactively change your game is a ThoughtCrime,
punishable by the usual Burn In H*** for all Eternity. You have to
embrace all official FASA Shadowrun material as the Word of God.
Oops, I almost forgot. I don't use Rigger 2 or the Companion
because they are the Works of the Devil (tm)! God told me so. I
couldn't return them, so I just burned them to make sure they
didn't fall into the wrong hands.
By the way, God mentioned that ShadowRun is the OTGS because it
really DOES reflect reality. He should know, He created it (reality
that is)!
One last thing... If you think I'm wrong, then you're wrong.
You're also stupid, ugly, short-sighted, lazy, and disgusting. You
can't spel, you're a munchkin, and everyone hates you. I'm only
telling you all this because you need to know that I'm Right.
Everyone needs to know that I'm Right.
Next week, I'll discuss the Holy Awakenings book, and how I've
been using it since my campaign started in 1980. You'd better read
my review and agree with it, if you want to get into Heaven.
By the way, He said to say Happy Chanukah. But that's another story.
</rant></really_big_font></offensive>
--
Brian Moore, mooreb@***.com | I wrote up a nice script to truncate all News&
First Albany Corp. Sysadmin | Mail sigs that are greater than 4 lines long.
standard disclaimers apply | It is still in beta testing due to an off-by-
