From:	chimerae@***.ie chimerae@***.ie
Subject:	FW: Virus Warning .... finally one you can forward without fear
Date:	Fri, 19 Feb 1999 22:55:46 +0000

Got this one today and almost deleted it automatically. I thought
that the list could use some grins with all the flames going on.

> ***-- VIRUS WARNING from MeMail.com --***
>
> Folks, I don't normally send out virus warnings, but this
> one is extremely serious. Please read very carefully and
> take care!
>
> If you receive an email entitled "Crazy Times" delete it
> immediately. Do not open it! Apparently this one is pretty
> nasty.
>
> It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it
> will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your
> computer.
>
> It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards.
>
> It reprograms your ATM access code, messes up the tracking
> on your VCR and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any
> CD's you attempt to play.
>
> It will re-calibrate your refrigerator's coolness settings
> so all your ice cream melts and your milk curdles.
>
> It will program your phone autodial to call only your
> mother-in-law's number.
>
> This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank.
>
> It will drink all your beer.
>
> It will leave dirty socks on the coffee table when you are
> expecting company.
>
> Its radioactive emissions will cause your toe jam and
> bellybutton fuzz (be honest, you have some) to migrate
> behind your ears.
>
> It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with
> Rogaine, all while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind
> your back and billing their hotel rendezvous to your Visa
> card.
>
> It will cause you to run with scissors and throw things in a
> way that is only fun until someone loses an eye.
>
> It will give you Dutch Elm Disease and Tinea.
>
> It will rewrite your backup files, changing all your active
> verbs to passive tense and incorporating undetectable
> misspellings which grossly change the interpretations of key
> sentences.
>
> If the "Crazy Times" message is opened in a Windows 95
> environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your
> hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub.
>
> It will not only remove the tags from your mattresses and
> pillows, but it will also refill your skimmed milk with
> whole milk.
>
> It will replace all your luncheon meat with Spam.
>
> It will molecularly rearrange your cologne or perfume,
> causing it to smell like dill pickles.(Remember Brut 33 ?)
>
> It is insidious and subtle.
>
> It is dangerous and terrifying to behold.
>
> It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.
>
> These are just a few signs of infection.
>
> PLEASE FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!!!


Karina & Martin Steffens
chimerae@***.ie