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Message no. 1
From: "Paul J. Adam" <shadowtk@********.demon.co.uk>
Subject: Amateur Night
Date: Fri, 5 Jul 1996 17:39:34 +0100
*****NOT TO: Jen and Gabe
>>>>>[Well, well, well. Look who got caught on camera. I guess the
security guys at United have a sense of humour, if it was them who sent
this to me.

+++++begin trideo
An infrared view of the city's rooftops, the airborne grayscale display
seeing Seattle purely by its heat. A fourteen-micron thermal imager, you
think, the far infrared. The view is mostly white, with only a few
darker areas, as the camera peers down into a row of houses: each a
goodly-sized residence with walled gardens, and several have guards
walking the perimeter, their body heat black against the white
background.

"Whoa, back it up." says a voice. "Saw something."
The drone pivots and slows to a hover, the view stabilising. "Looks
clear."
"Give me visual."
The view shifts to near-total blackness, the acid yellow of the street's
sodium-vapour streetlights and the warm, inviting light of the house's
windows the only illumination.
"Come on, get the intensifier on line."
"Breaker's tripped. It won't-"
"Go to thermal and flip scales. And see if we at least have audio, then
get that damn thing working. I'm gonna strangle those maintenance pukes,
they cleared this bird as A1."
Back to the monochrome of the thermal imager, but this time the scale is
reversed, warm objects appearing paler against the dark background. The
soundtrack picks up in volume, as you see two figures moving rapidly
towards the patrolling guard..
"Signal an alert." says the more senior of the voices. "And put the
audio on the tape."

The guard begins to turn, then freezes, as the two 'visitors' train
weapons on him.
"Drop your weapon and raise your hands, and we won't kill you." says a
feminine voice. The guard hastily complied.
"Oh, Jenna, I've told you before about telling lies. Sorry, we're going
to kill you anyway." The thermal image records the muzzle flare of what
appear to be silenced machine pistols as both fire long bursts into the
guard, who falls backwards: the silencers are very efficient at muffling
the shots, the gunfire sounding little louder than a pack of cards being
riffled: the two raiders' sniggers make more noise.

"Did you see her face?"
"A picture. One for the gallery. They look so funny when we do that."
"They just can't cope with our style and skill."
The two move to the front door, and it opens at a touch.
"Good heavens, Gabriel. Some kind person reprogrammed the house computer
to give us acceess authorisation."
"As well as nulling all the security cameras and shutting down the
PANICBUTTON. I wonder who those marvellously skilful deckers might be?"
says the male voice smugly. Both have definite Aztlan accents.
"We go in, we grab him, we bring him out alive, we kill everyone else.
Right?"
"Right." The pair saunter into the house.

There is a distinct click as audio returns to the drone's controllers.
"-the hell do you mean ETA six minutes? Lone Star will be there in two!"
An indistinct reply, possibly from a telephone or radio.
"I don't want to hear about your problems. I want some backup on this
guy before we lose an engineering director! I have shadowrunners in his
residence and at least three guards down already, now where the hell is
your rapid reaction team?"
Another indistinct response, its tone heated this time, as vivid
whiteness spews out of several upper-floor windows, flaring the imager
for several seconds before you see burning debris scattered over the
grounds and heat blaring from the windows.
"FRAG! And when your bozos get out of bed have them bring a meatwagon,
and get the fire service en route. Ronson's vitals just went redline.
He's dying. Fast. I don't - Masimoto, switch to their audio-<click>"

Back to Jenna's voice, "-thought we were meant to get him alive!"
"So?"
"So you killed him, Gabriel!"
"He pissed me off, okay? And he made fun of my suit." The two emerge
from the house, look around, move towards an outbuilding.
"You didn't have to kill him! We were meant to bring him in alive! You
burned out the whole room with that spell!"
"We were told to extract him. We did, he doesn't work for United any
more.Total success."

"yeah...Yeah! You're right! Total success. As usual."
"As always. But then we are the best."
"The greatest ever!" They're passing the body of the guard they shot
earlier, who still seems very warm. "Gabe, she's still breathing."
Gabriel fires another long burst into the body. "Pardon?" Jenna giggles.
They open a door of the outbuilding, and after a long pause you hear an
engine start.

<click>"-Star report they took fire on the way in, cruiser damaged. No
casualties, but that unit's immobilised. Others coming in more
cautiously. Star ETA now five minutes." The observers again.
"Shooting up cop cars? In that area of town? Christ, it's a goddamn tag
team we're dealing with. Warn our guys to be alert on approach. Pass the
plate and description of Ronson's car and report it stolen. Get some of
our tame cops to put the APB out, maximum caution, armed and dangerous."
"Done."

A Westwind roars out of the garage and down the driveway, back end
fishtailing, and through the opening gates - skidding wildly, the back
end clipping the wall as it turns into the strret. The drone attempts to
keep pace but is soon left behind.

"Any more from the Star?"
"Four-man team, very slick, immobilised the lead car and then withdrew.
Cops never got a round off."
"Amateurs with pro backup. Great. Get this up the line, someone's gonna
be in trouble. Ronson dead?"
"No vitals. No tracer. Fire's really got hold, he's cinders by now."
"Drek."
+++++end trideo

What a pair of wannabees.]<<<<<
-- Trideo Pirate <17:45:31/07-05-57>
Message no. 2
From: Evan Hughes <ehughes@****.carleton.ca>
Subject: Re: Amateur Night
Date: Sat, 13 Jul 96 12:28:40 EDT
>>>>>[Cute run you pulled there, whoever you are (what is it they say?
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery? How sweet!) -- and even
though you signed our name to it, and tried to pull it off like us, you
flopped bigtime.

The entire run has a style index of -36 out of a possible 10 (Good try).
And that's not including the poser-deduction (Automatic halving of style
points and then demerits taken for bad acting, poor charactarisation and
dress style). Let's have a play-by play:

+++++INSERT TRIDEO SEGMENT:
The guard begins to turn, then freezes, as the two 'visitors' train
weapons on him.
"Drop your weapon and raise your hands, and we won't kill you." says a
feminine voice. The guard hastily complied.
"Oh, Jenna, I've told you before about telling lies. Sorry, we're going
to kill you anyway."
+++++END OF TRIDEO SEGMENT

Cute line, but it's been used before. Although you DID manage to use it
in the correct context (unlike Lynch and his infamous 'fire in the hole').
Although the chatty 'Oh Jenna' could come across as very lame if done in
the wrong voice.

Cliche. Minus 1.
Poor vocaliztion. Minus 2.

+++++INSERT IMAGE
+ Faux thermal of 'Jen and Gabe' sniggering by the heat of their own
+ muzzle flashes

What the HELL was this? You NEVER snigger while on a run. EVER. What
would happen if someone saw you? Or there was a security camera present
(as there obviously was)? Sniggering will ruin your ENTIRE ambiance.Unless
of course you're going for the sadistic manical killer look.

Acting like a weenie on a run. Minus 4.

+++++INSERT AUDIO SEGMENT:
"Did you see her face?"
"A picture. One for the gallery. They look so funny when we do that."
+++++END OF AUDIO SEGMENT

Don't count your chickens before they hatch. What if the gun-cam got
blood on it? And besides, you don't want anyone overhearing that you HAVE
a gun-cam.

Revealing of unnecessary information (low importance). Minus 2.


+++++INSERT AUDIO SEGMENT:
"They just can't cope with our style and skill."
+++++END OF AUDIO SEGMENT

Don't say this on a run. If you get grazed, that gives the baddies an
opportunity to come up with a counter-line. And if it's a particularly
good one that you can't think of a come-back to (this has never happened
to us, although we have hear stories of other less fortunate runners),
people may talk.

Self gratifying banter. Minus 1.

+++++INSERT AUDIO SEGMENT:
"Good heavens, Gabriel. Some kind person reprogrammed the house computer
to give us acceess authorisation."
"As well as nulling all the security cameras and shutting down the
PANICBUTTON. I wonder who those marvellously skilful deckers might be?"
+++++END OF AUDIO SEGMENT

Bad, bad idea. You just told whoever was listening that they were on
their own. People get desperate when they don't think assistance is
coming. (Nothing that a good cloud o' poison gas can't handle, but still)

Revealing of info (second infraction) (major). Minus 6.
Self gratifying banter (second infraction). Minus 2.


+++++INSERT AUDIO SEGMENT:
"We go in, we grab him, we bring him out alive, we kill everyone else.
Right?"
"Right."
+++++END OF AUDIO SEGMENT

Don't plan while on the run. It's unprofessional.

Coming to run unprepared. Minus 3.


+++++INSERT TRIDEO SEGMENT:
The pair saunter into the house.
+++++END OF TRIDEO SEGMENT

Don't saunter. Ever. It just reeks 'common'. Always walk tall and
purposefully. Purposeful people get places faster and better.

Acting 'common'. Minus 2.

+++++ INSERT TRIDEO SEGMENT:
Another indistinct response, its tone heated this time, as vivid
whiteness spews out of several upper-floor windows, flaring the imager
for several seconds before you see burning debris scattered over the
grounds and heat blaring from the windows.
+++++ END OF TRIDEO SEGMENT

Explosions and flames are for office buildings. Residential buildings
burn too slowly and unimpressively. E for effort.

It was a first infraction. No penalty.

+++++ INSERT AUDIO SEGMENT:
"-thought we were meant to get him alive!"
"So?"
"So you killed him, Gabriel!"
"He pissed me off, okay? And he made fun of my suit."
+++++ END OF AUDIO SEGMENT

Then buy a nicer suit. It's not THAT hard a concept to grasp.

Poor dress sense. Minus 8.

And dear lady, don't use that tone on a run. It makes you sound like
a hussy.


+++++INSERT AUDIO SEGMENT:
"You didn't have to kill him! We were meant to bring him in alive! You
burned out the whole room with that spell!"
"We were told to extract him. We did, he doesn't work for United any
more.Total success."
+++++ END OF AUDIO SEGMENT

An extraction means bringing your target home. If he dies en route,
bring the corpse.

Failure to complete run. Style points halved.


+++++INSERT AUDIO SEGMENT
"Gabe, she's still breathing."
[SOUND OF GUNFIRE]
"Pardon?" Jenna giggles.
+++++END OF AUDIO SEGMENT

Bad aim on initial burst. Minus 3.
Cliched. Minus 2.


In all, you lost 36 points. You did very little to gain ANY style points.
In future, please try harder. Especially if you intend to sign our names
to it. You might even have some of the more gullible runners here
beleiving it was us.]<<<<<
-- Jen and Gabe <12:29:45/13-07-57>
Message no. 3
From: Benjamin <benjamin@*****.com>
Subject: Re: Amateur Night
Date: Sat, 13 Jul 1996 11:20:08 PDT
>>>>>[You forgot:

Wasting ammo on a target you arre close enough to see breathing: Minus 2.

And we STILL haven't recieved any proof that wasn't you. You could be just
covering up. And if the pair in quesdtion thought they had taken out all the
security, why would they call each other "Jenna" and "Gabriel"? After
all,
they left NO traces of their run other than a few dead bodies he said in a
sarcastic tone of voice.]<<<<<
-- Temporary FishNet Account #379-A32 <7-13-57/11:19:28>
Fisher Data Systems
Message no. 4
From: Evan Hughes <ehughes@****.carleton.ca>
Subject: Re: Amateur Night
Date: Sun, 14 Jul 96 16:19:08 EDT
>>>>>[To the brave holder of a the Fishnet Account:

Where ammo goes is up to you. Agreed, at that close, a knife would have
been a better option, but either way: if the guard had been wearing a
med-bracelet, the two posers would have been caught by now (And that's
where they'd prefer to be. Beleive us)]<<<<<
-- Jen and Gabe <16:20:02/07-14-57>
Message no. 5
From: "Paul J. Adam" <shadowtk@********.demon.co.uk>
Subject: Re: Amateur Night
Date: Sun, 14 Jul 1996 22:33:40 +0100
>>>>>[To: The would-be Jenna and Gabriel
From: The _real_ Jenna and Gabriel

If you're going to pretend to be us, at least do it right. One, that run
was not a flop. We succeeded completely. Our mission was to deny that
man's services to his then employers. Well, he doesn't work for United
any more...

Two, our dress style was impeccable. That is what _proves_ you're
imitators: we were, are and remain the best-dressed, most stylish
runners you or anyone will ever have seen. We don't follow fashion,
fashion follows us... We do also wonder how you can comment on dress
sense from a IR-only video - very annoying, that - since you simply
cannot judge cut, fit, hang and colour on a thermographic playback.

Three, we *are* sadistic maniacal killers. We can even let you have the
before-and-after guncam images from that guard. Very impressive. You're
just jealous. We've never hidden the fact we have gun-cams, we even sell
the shots to Dangerous People Quarterly.

And explosions are fun. Fire is fun. You sound like Skull or Lynch with
all this "don't plan on the job", "don't waste ammo" and
"explosions
aren't fun" crap. Besides, _we_ can make any building burn in a most
rapid and impressive manner. Don't assume everyone's as incompetent as
you are.

Like we said: you're just jealous.]<<<<<
-- Jen and Gabe <22:31:21/07-14-57>

*****INTERNAL: SIGANet
>>>>>[FROM: Cpl Karlsbruhn
TO: D J H Coppinger, 1Lt L DiAnnio

Sir, I got a headache and a few blown circuits from fighting off the
traces on that one. They didn't bust us... I think. But we _definitely_
don't fake any more of their mail for a while, unless you can get CSF
cover.]<<<<<
-- Corporal J S Karlsbruhn <Truth:Justice:And/The-American-Way>
Strategic Intelligence Gathering Agency

Further Reading

If you enjoyed reading about Amateur Night, you may also be interested in:

Disclaimer

These messages were posted a long time ago on a mailing list far, far away. The copyright to their contents probably lies with the original authors of the individual messages, but since they were published in an electronic forum that anyone could subscribe to, and the logs were available to subscribers and most likely non-subscribers as well, it's felt that re-publishing them here is a kind of public service.