Logs for ShadowRN and Associated Mailing Lists

From:	"Paul J. Adam" <shadowtk@********.DEMON.CO.UK>
Subject:	Memorial
Date:	Mon, 16 Feb 1998 00:41:03 +0000

Message no. 1 *****PRIVATE: Dogpatch Archive
>>>>>[Lest we forget.

+++++begin video
Lynch, standing in the rain, on an artificially barren landscape: new
grey concrete, in sparse and dispersed geometric forms, are the
background to well over a thousand men and women, water sheeting off
their fatigues. Weapons storage, hardened aircraft shelters, vehicle
hangars, accomodation blocks, all with the raw new look of recent
construction: while there's a lot of greenery been planted, it hasn't
had a chance to spread and soften the concrete yet.

It must be some sort of parade: the troops wear Rebels camouflage, and
the majority stand in formation by company and platoon: a few smaller
groups have their own purposes. The uniforms vary, from combat fatigues
to coveralls, a handful of other uniforms in their own formations: one
short Rebel in tanker's coveralls standing in front of one of the
platoons of Ares personnel catches his eye, probably Stephanie. In front
of the main parade are twenty-one soldiers, rifles held at shoulder
arms. A crowd of civilians are off to one side: families, relatives,
friends.

Lynch, facing them, glances around: he's on a reviewing stand with a
dozen or so other Rebels, and a few other folk half-hidden in foul-
weather gear: you recognise Lilith by his side, Canis, Orion, Tangent
and Imp among the officers and guests on the stand. Others further down
the line are less identifiable, by choice or by accident.

A stentorian voice bellows "PARADE!" and everyone braces: "ATTENTION!"
The Rebels evidently spend less time on their drill than on their skill-
at-arms, but they come to attention in a decently crisp manner, marred
only by the way rainwater showers off them from the jolt. The twenty-one
riflemen bring their weapons to high port.

Colonel Sergei Nikolaievich Rusanov marches across the parade ground,
takes his place on the reviewing stand. "At ease."

"Observers, at EASE!" A crunch of boots, though the riflemen don't move.
"Observers, stand EASY!"

Rusanov's voice is loud and firm. "RSM, report."

"One thousand one hundred and fourteen officers and men present, sir."

"Those not present?"

"One hundred and forty-four absent with leave, sir. Forty-seven others
not present."

"Call their roll, RSM." Rusanov responds calmly, and the regimental
sergeant-major turns to the ranks.

"Private Luis Almavadez!"

A voice from the ranks responds. "Killed in action, sir!" The twenty-one
riflemen fire a volley, recocking their Alphas where the blank rounds
can't cycle the actions. Spent brass jingles on the concrete.

"Lance-corporal Joan Apring!" the RSM calls.

"Missing in action, believed killed, sir!" Another volley. Given the
lengths the Rebels go to in protecting their own, they must be sure
indeed that LCpl Apring is dead: lacking only her body for absolute
proof.

The roll-call continues, the riflemen having to change magazines. Only
four of the forty-seven names are "missing": the others are reported
KIA. The responders from the ranks are different every time: friends
volunteering to speak for their lost comrades?

Rusanov lets the echoes of Second Lieutenant George Yalinski's volley
die away. "RSM, record these troops as 'Killed In Action.' "

"Sir."

"Take all necessary steps..." Rusanov pauses. "Take all necessary steps,
to ensure that we never forget our fallen comrades. Though we succeeded,
these men and women bought our success with their lives." His accented
voice carrying well in the rainy air.

"Sir. They are gone, but they will not be forgotten." The Regimental
Sergeant-Major's voice rings with conviction: this may be a ritual, and
a familiar one, but his belief is clear. The mercenaries will remember
their dead.

Rusanov and the RSM exchange salutes.

"Parade! Attention!" The Rebels come to attention again, and their
Colonel turns, and marches off to the left. Once he is gone, the RSM
bellows "Parade, DISMISS!" The entire mass of troops turns to the right,
marches three paces before beginning to break up and disperse.
+++++end video]<<<<<
-- Lynch <00:26:54/02-15-59>

From:	Avenger <Avenger@*******.DEMON.CO.UK>
Subject:	Memorial
Date:	Wed, 28 Oct 1998 12:05:19 +0000

Message no. 2 *****PRIVATE: Orion
>>>>>[I hope it not inconvenient to you Orion, I mean no trouble by
writing to you, but you been good friend to all us, and it need to be
told you. It good to see you and Canis for a while, it made all us feel
good again, better than we feel for long time. It good to share
memories and tears with friends. To mourn the dead and the lost with
people who feel same thing.

I not know how tell Canis, so I leave that to you. Sorry. But I cannot
find words that are right. It difficult to find words at all at moment.
But, all gone now. We leave you while back, for Amazon, looking for
rock and stone of artefact Avenger wanted. More in his memory than any
need. It foolish, but we obligated, you understand?

Well, we been here before, we know place, but things change for worst.
The jungle not friend no more. He not with us, Pharaoh not with us, and
our luck died some time before. Maybe his death should have been
message to us, but we too blind to see it. They dead Orion, all of
them. Only Blaze and me left now. I last of Red Shift. I am their
only memory now, and I tired of all this. We going away for some time
now, so no need to reply, I probably not get message anyway.

I just felt it necessary to tell you, as you and Canis been good
friends. Perhaps Canis pray for them, or something. Help them go to
better place, neh? It not even good death. Pirate ambush half way up
river. Too many to handle with what they had. Too much firepower. We
were one boat, they were many. River creatures take few who survive the
attack. Blaze and me were left at head to gather some late supplies,
this how come we survive attack. We find out when Pirates sell Red
Shift gear in town. We find wreck and bodies later. Bury all we find.
I go now Orion, because it hurt to talk about them. So many friends, so
many memories, so much death. It is too much. I avenge them if I can,
then it ended. Then I love them in my mind for rest of life. I sicken
of this and perhaps go home for a while. Goodbye Orion, remember them,
live for them.

Hito mo oshi
Hito mo urameshi
Ajiki naku
Yo o omou yue ni
Mono omou mi wa

[For some men I grieve;
Some men are hateful to me;
And this wretched world
To me, with all my sadness,
Is a place of misery.]

]<<<<<
-- Shado <04:54:22/30:10:59>

From:	Team ODIN <jhary-a-conel@***.NET>
Subject:	Re: Memorial
Date:	Mon, 2 Nov 1998 13:48:11 +0100

Message no. 3 On 28 Oct 98, at 12:05, Avenger wrote:

> *****PRIVATE: Orion
> >>>>>[I hope it not inconvenient to you Orion, I mean no trouble by
> writing to you, but you been good friend to all us, and it need to be told
> you. It good to see you and Canis for a while, it made all us feel good
> again, better than we feel for long time. It good to share memories and
> tears with friends. To mourn the dead and the lost with people who feel
> same thing.
>
>
> I not know how tell Canis, so I leave that to you. Sorry. But I cannot
> find words that are right. It difficult to find words at all at moment.
> But, all gone now. We leave you while back, for Amazon, looking for rock
> and stone of artefact Avenger wanted. More in his memory than any need.
> It foolish, but we obligated, you understand?
>
>
> Well, we been here before, we know place, but things change for worst. The
> jungle not friend no more. He not with us, Pharaoh not with us, and our
> luck died some time before. Maybe his death should have been message to
> us, but we too blind to see it. They dead Orion, all of them. Only Blaze
> and me left now. I last of Red Shift. I am their only memory now, and I
> tired of all this. We going away for some time now, so no need to reply,
> I probably not get message anyway.
>
>
> I just felt it necessary to tell you, as you and Canis been good
> friends. Perhaps Canis pray for them, or something. Help them go to
> better place, neh? It not even good death. Pirate ambush half way up
> river. Too many to handle with what they had. Too much firepower. We
> were one boat, they were many. River creatures take few who survive the
> attack. Blaze and me were left at head to gather some late supplies, this
> how come we survive attack. We find out when Pirates sell Red Shift gear
> in town. We find wreck and bodies later. Bury all we find. I go now
> Orion, because it hurt to talk about them. So many friends, so many
> memories, so much death. It is too much. I avenge them if I can, then it
> ended. Then I love them in my mind for rest of life. I sicken of this and
> perhaps go home for a while. Goodbye Orion, remember them, live for them.
>
>
> Hito mo oshi
> Hito mo urameshi
> Ajiki naku
> Yo o omou yue ni
> Mono omou mi wa
>
>
> [For some men I grieve;
> Some men are hateful to me;
> And this wretched world
> To me, with all my sadness,
> Is a place of misery.]
>
> ]<<<<<
> -- Shado <04:54:22/30:10:59>

*****PRIVATE: Shado
>>>>>[ Oh ye spirits!

Shado, I don't know what to say, how to say I feel with you. And I
do. From the beginning, we had no lucky stars, and it got worse all
the time. Shado, what can I say to help you with the pain you must
feel? We will keep them alive, all of them, in our memories, and
nothing will be forgotten.

I told Canis. He took it even worse then I thought. Usually - as bad
as it is that there is an "usual" behaviour for the message of friends
dying - he gets into rage, despair, and gets drunk. Not this time - he
withdraw into himself, hasn't talked a dozen words since. He poured
the last bottle of malt whiskey he had into the Mississippi, and just
spoke "to you". To all those dead, and to those who died, I guess.

I am sorry, but I have to ask: What happened to the Twilight Soul?
Did you hide it in Seattle, did you take it with you, did the river
pirates get it? It is important it doesn't fall in the wrong hands. We
probably can't use it, as I was given to understand, but the wrong
peop... well, not-people could. I am sorry to lay that burdon on your
shoulders, but you have to see for that.

Right now we are in New Orleans - that's the reason my response is
delayed although mail download worked ok, the satellite uplink was
somehow buggy. Couldn't get a pulse out. If you need us, we can
come south instantly, we're just looking for a friend of Fohdytoo who
went missing, some truck driver guy. ]<<<<<
-- Orion <04:47:51/11-02-59>

From:	Avenger <Avenger@*******.DEMON.CO.UK>
Subject:	Re: Memorial
Date:	Tue, 3 Nov 1998 01:56:36 +0000

Message no. 4 *****PRIVATE: Stonewall
>>>>>[

+++++Access Log: RS3
+++++Start new log: Shado
+++++Authorisation: Shado2a3f67/987D

Blaze says this new deck will allow me to speak to it and it will
translate for me, I think this is strange, but she assures me it is so.

I remember the words of my friends, that we must record and note all
that we do, so that it is easier later to see mistakes and analyse what
we have done. Many times Pharaoh was able to find things that we'd
missed before, so perhaps this is a sensible thing. I am not
comfortable with talking to dead machine, but I think I get used to it
soon enough.

We have spoken about this at great length, Blaze and I. No, we have not
spoken at all, we argued, we fought like cat and dog, and though I know
she is right, I must do something for my friends, or I cannot believe
they rest. They must be avenged, their souls cannot part this world
until I have taken their anger and given it to those who killed and
robbed them in such dishonourable way. Blaze thinks I am foolish, she
is probably right but foolish or not, I have a debt that cannot be
repaid and I must do something to make small reparation for what they
all have done for me. I remember when I go mad the first time. Nobody
turned their back on me, nobody threw me to the wolves afraid I would
harm them, no, they stood by me, and offered me the love and care that
only family can offer. And now they are dead because I was not there to
help them, and their killers walk free, enjoying the spoils of their
murder. They will need to enjoy quickly, because I will soon end their
fun.

For a week now I have sat here and read the logs from the past, reading
the thoughts and ramblings of my friends. Was this wrong? Should their
diaries have been left as silent testament to them, or are they now more
alive because I carry their thoughts with me? I believe that while I
know their thoughts and remember them; they live within me, and will
continue to do so even though their souls await their time to be reborn.
Perhaps they will come and visit me some time, they are my family and it
would be right for them to come.

We go upriver tomorrow to hunt the killers. Blaze call me insane, and I
agree. Her face was funny when I said that and she didn't say any more
after, but she comes with me. Not I think out of misguided loyalty, but
because in her heart she agrees with me and knows this is right. I
cannot do this alone, and if she had held her point I would have been
forced to stop. I think she knew that and I think she knew it would be
wrong. In many ways, though she is so different, she is the same.
Perhaps that is why I love her, because she is hard, but she has a
strong heart, and her heart is true. Also, she knows that one cannot
survive alone in the jungle and one is not enough for what must be done.
She is purchasing our gear while I talk to this plastic thing that sends
my words across half a continent. I do not know what I should fear the
most. Equipment with such power, or such equipment in the wrong hands.
But I cannot save the whole world, nor do I wish to. The world deserves
everything it suffers. It is corrupt and diseased, it is dying.
Perhaps when the insanity that comes with disease is over a better world
will rise from the mess we have left. Blaze says that when mankind
finally kills himself the cockroaches will inherit. I do not believe
this and I do not know if she means the small or large variety. She
merely shrugged when I asked and asked me whether it mattered. I have
thought about that, and yes, it matters. The Invae have no right to
this world, and should not be allowed to take it. But then. Who is
there to stop them? Gates found many instances of their power here. He
believed they started in this part of the world, and they have been here
long enough to almost own it. He said there are millions upon millions
of insects in the world, and that if the Invae were able to breed like
their smaller cousins we would all be in trouble before we knew it. But
they have killed the bugs in Chicago, so they can kill all the Invae
everywhere. The corporations will not allow the Invae to take over, it
would interfere with profits, and even the corps will fight bitterly to
make sure they keep their precious profits.

I worry about the rest of the soul. The final two parts that are buried
somewhere in this jungle. The treacherous bitch Emma stole the pieces
we had recovered, and even now probably hands them to her owners. If
the last pieces are left she may well get her filthy hands on them, and
then there will be trouble. Should I go after them? Or perhaps as
Blaze said it would be better to hand the information we have to
Aztechnology. They would not allow the whore to take the pieces, and
would try to gain the ones she already has. That would be fitting, but
I do not know if I should go against Avenger's wishes in such a way. He
said she was to be given a new chance, a new break at life to atone for
what she had done before. I did not trust her, and I believe I was
right, she deserted us when we were most in need. Because we were
human, and died when shot with bullets. Perhaps she is better with
people who do not die, who do not love or feel pain and loss. Whatever.
I am glad she is gone, and hope she will suffer for what she has done in
her past. No, Aztechnology are not good choice. I don't know who would
be though. Perhaps if Dewy had survived he might have known.

This is annoying. I do not have the knowledge to think like this. I
wish one of the others was here. They would know what to do. Perhaps I
should ask Canis. But no, he already has much on his plate, and I
suspect he is helping their spirits to travel to the next life. I would
like to be with him now. Just to talk to them for a while to be with
them, feel their warmth. Why do friends have to die? Always it is
those you love who are taken, while the filth live on in comfort. I am
sick of losing those who are close to me, but at least there are none
left to lose now. If Blaze dies it does not matter, because it means I
am dead. I do not need to worry about Canis, because Orion will not
allow him to die, so at least one will remember us.

My eyes are sore from crying, and my voice hoarse. Blaze says I look
like a puff adder, but how else can one get rid of the pain that cramps
up your chest? I do not like to drink, so I cannot get drunk, and I do
not know the rituals to aid passage of the spirits. Perhaps Taz will
know what they are when he arrives. I look forward to my brothers
arriving. I miss their strength, and their arrival means that the
killers will soon decorate the trees with their entrails. As they
deserve. Perhaps after we have done this I will know what to do.

Soon we will settle this, and the spirits can rest peacefully.

Kaze o itami
Iwa utsu nami no
Onore nomi
Kudakete mono o
Omou koro kana

Like a driven wave,
Dashed by fierce winds on a rock,
So am I: alone
And crushed upon the shore,
Remembering what has been.

+++++Logoff: Shado

]<<<<<
-- Shado <01:55:12/11-03-59>

From:	Avenger <Avenger@*******.DEMON.CO.UK>
Subject:	Re: Memorial
Date:	Thu, 12 Nov 1998 01:01:10 +0000

Message no. 5 *****PRIVATE: Orion
>>>>>[I sorry it take long time write back, I busy. My heart to Canis,
if it help him. I not know what happen to Soul. We give parts to Emma,
traitor bitch who sell us out, she give them to boss, make them
disappear. We give her too much easy time, too much easy money. She
come play for a while, I say it mistake but Clint, soft heart, soft
head, accept her and say join us. She desert when we hit hard after
Mateus. I not know where parts go, but not think they in good place.
Ben think he find where Heart lies, we fetch, throw in ocean, lose for
ever. Emma bitch not have it. Nobody have it.

New Orleans dangerous place to be Orion, we go there once, leave very
quick. But if you friend in need, you must answer. We not need you at
moment, though I have person for you to find, I send details later.
Maybe need you to get Heart I not know yet. First there is killing to
be done. If you need get in touch for any reason, use Stonewall to
leave message, it not expire there. Leave in Red Shift archive in mail
box >>access code<< caution here Orion, you stranger, Stonewall
dangerous place, fry head and make meat loaf of it. I talk again soon.
Health, and luck to you.]<<<<<
-- Shado <00:51:11/11-12-59>

From:	Team ODIN <jhary-a-conel@***.NET>
Subject:	Re: Memorial
Date:	Thu, 12 Nov 1998 20:49:32 +0100

Message no. 6 *****PRIVATE: Blaze
>>>>>[
+++++relay: Stonewall
+++++Priority: URGENT

Blaze - I know this is unusual, and I tweaked some pulses to let
Stonewall try to reach you as fast as possible, but I have reasons.
Believe me.

Please - do check if _anybody_ of you uses Dark Avenger's personal
log space. I got three access passwords to your log space at
Stonewall, and am fearing there's a breach of security. I made
contact with a Stonewall decker, but she isn't too cooperative -
understandably, as I am not among their contractors. In fact, it was
not that easy to stay online long enough to explain matters.

Normally I'd ask for your access times, but I am sure I have they
pretty well logged by now. Please, use Stonewall as before - if
there's been a security break, a change of pattern would alert the
intruder. So far I am not sure, but will check.

Please, be discreet with your inquiries. I guess we have the same
problem - if either Shado or Canis learns about this, they'd either
throw a tantrum, thus spoiling our chance to learn more about a
possible intruder, or, even worse, assume it's Harbinger himself - and
what happens then you can imagine, I guess. ]<<<<<
-- Orion <13:35:48/11-12-59>

From:	Avenger <Avenger@*******.DEMON.CO.UK>
Subject:	Re: Memorial
Date:	Thu, 26 Nov 1998 04:07:03 +0000

Message no. 7 *****PRIVATE: Orion
>>>>>[Please excuse the tardiness of my reply. We have been somewhat
pre-occupied retrieving some of our honour from a band of river pirates.
I have run a cursory check over our logs, but without a decent net
jockey on hand I can't do much myself. I'm trying to collate the
datastore information with the access logs we have available. At first
glance there does appear to be a discrepancy. Though I'm not sure what
at present. As soon as I know more I'll let you know, it may well be
that your magic fingers will be needed as I'm rather limited in what I
can achieve. TTYS]<<<<<
-- Blaze <04:06:23/11-26-59>

From:	Umfleet <gumfleet@***.edu>
Subject:	Memorial
Date:	Tue, 16 Apr 1996 19:46:57 -0400 (EDT)

Message no. 8 >>>>>[ Well for all of you who came I hope you enjoy your gifts, and I
hope they serve you as they served thier owner. Crush the breastplate and
choker looked very good on you, they made you look even more impresive
then you already do (and considering how big you are that is a feat within
itself), Spirit I'm sure Red would have wanted the Turquoise necklace to
go to you, it was his grandmothers, a Wolf shaman, so I'm sure it has some
magical properties to it. If I remeber right I think I recall her saying
that the one who wears it is protected by Wolf, but I'm no expert in the
magic field so I wouldn't know for sure. Wintergiest, I hope you enjoy
all the fetishes my friend was fond of collecting, I think he got most of
them from the bountys he went after. For those of you I forgot I am
sorry, but last night was along night of remebering a dear friend so a few
names have slipped my mind. As one last memorial I'd like to share this
poem with you, Red's grandma used to say it as a prayer whenever any of
her boys went out on a run:

" Wolf Clan "

The howling of the wolf calls,
the warrior hears with open heart.
" I shall follow wolf-friend " says the warrior
as he sets off down the path.
Feet turn into miles, miles into days, days into years;
the warrior follows with open heart and shows no fears.
Bloody-fighting, massacures, times of peace; the warrior sees all of these
never going off the path of wolf.
The day comes that the howling stops,
the warrior dies, the path is finished.
His spirit walks in wolf form
he is alive, he is free, he is wolf.

The original author is some Cherokee poet named Gregg Broken Arrow, a
little known writer but a true story-teller. With that said he is finally
put to rest. May his spirit ride in the eternal hunt. ]<<<<<
-- Mr. Blackthorne <19:49:12/04-16-57>

From:	shadowtk@********.demon.co.uk (Paul J. Adam)
Subject:	Re: Memorial
Date:	Wed, 17 Apr 1996 20:44:49 GMT

Message no. 9 *****PRIVATE: Mr Blackthorne
>>>>>[Thank you for the memorial service. I was there, though not readily
recognisable. If anyone realised who I was, they were discreet about it.

I carry Redfeather's combat knife, to remind me of a warrior and a friend.
He will be missed by many.]<<<<<
-- Lynch <20:49:12/04-17-57>

From:	Umfleet <gumfleet@***.edu>
Subject:	Re: Memorial
Date:	Wed, 17 Apr 1996 18:40:42 -0400 (EDT)

Message no. 10 *****PRIVATE: Lynch
>>>>>[ He would be happy to see it in the hands of a fellow warrior and a
great man. Thank you for attending, I wish you luck in all your battles.
You will always be considered a friend to me and Red's family. ]<<<<<
-- Mr. Blackthorne <18:43:23/04-17-57>

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