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Mailing List Logs for ShadowRN

Message no. 1
From: Christina Johnson <johnson1@**.UWP.EDU>
Subject: solorial
Date: Wed, 3 Nov 1993 18:47:27 -0600
>>>>>[I was taught to never let the ends justify the means. Perhaps it
was a failure of my mentor. He feared to create a monster. Solorial... I
cry your mercy. I was young, a child. I am a child still. You know
this, by god. I forget sometimes the responsibilities. I fear that my
compatriotes will sense some treason in my sympathies. I only pity a
madman. You do the job you were trained to do, and as well as you can.
For this you have garnered my respect. But, Lord, remember... The means
may sometimes justify the end, but never ever does the end justify the
means. You have heard of excessive force, and tyranny? Reread your
Machiavelli and Sun Tzu. You have been swerving from course. I do not
betray you. There is no 'Et tu' here. What have I done to betray you?
To stab you? I stayed out of the whole tainted thing, when everything in
me screamed to stop it. Come back? To what? Why do you make these power
plays, only to offer the honors to me again? Do you really want to
relinquish the pain and resposibilities, or do you want a figurehead, a
whipping boy?
Ah... I am sorry for the ungaurded words. I fear I have
allowed emotion to slip into my reasoning. Please accept my apologies.
It was not as I was taught. Do not allow my actions to reflect on my
mentors.]<<<<<
-- Brandywine <18:56:14 / 3.11.54>
Message no. 2
From: Christina Johnson <johnson1@**.UWP.EDU>
Subject: solorial
Date: Thu, 4 Nov 1993 22:09:31 -0600
>>>>>[Ah. I'm glad to see they offer courses in copping out now. My god.
I can't believe you'd even try to blame your faults and failures on me.
I've been gone years... And the Oath I took was loyalty. To a cause, a
belief. I have never surrendered those beliefs. You're a fool if you
think you're going to be able to get these people to hate me as a result
of your actions. My god. Do you really believe they ever would have left
me in charge? Come now... The counsel consists of purists. I was a
child. I am still just a girl, at least to them. Born of a Japanese
mother, an American father... and if i'd been male, i'd be a bastard too.
I'm not even elf to the most narrowminded there. I left because I knew I
was being forced down pathways that would only serve others, and were in a
direct contradiction to the oath you charge me with. I stayed out of it.
I respected your authority. Of course I judged. How could I not? But I
remained silent, thinking that it was part of that promise we'd all made.
Solarial... I am sorry you try to blame things on a distant persona,
something that never really existed. I was never the power point you
claim. I was never so in control of your fate. I was wrong. You are no
madman. Madmen are more imaginative. You are just a spoiled child. And
if you take it in your head to come after me, for god knows what
rationale... Ah. I suppose I will deal with things than. But remember:
if you truly believe that I could just walk in at any time and take your
place, recieving the same loyalty that someone who'd been in that position
for years would recieve... Then I would seriously reconsider your own
place in this. Perhaps, if you feel your own position so unstable, so
easily toppled, you should retire for a time. Allow someone more
qualified to take it. Any man who'd taken the Oath I did and meant it
would do only that. It is best for all... and that was, after all, what
the oath was. Protection. Ultimate protection.
Please don't play these games with me, Solorial. I've always been
better at them. Or was that a part of my childhood that you felt free in
editing out of your reality?
My god, Solorial. I want to help you. Don't be such a paraniod
bastard that you can't see that.]<<<<<
-- Brandywind <22:27:13 / 4.11.54>

Further Reading

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