| From: | "Erin B. Parks" <CARTEJB0@******.JUNIATA.EDU> |
|---|---|
| Subject: | SOOO...I'm a DREK-HEAD, am I?!? Well, drek-head THIS! |
| Date: | Mon, 6 Sep 1993 15:19:50 -0400 |
>>>>>[Look here, Lass! I REALLY donna' think ya have `ny right ta be
demandin'
things a' m'...righ' now! Ya hurt m', real bad, wi' th' things ya were sayin'
`bout m', last ev`nin'! An', truth b' told, Rox...ya don' know SHIT! Ya havena'
CLUE, as ta what _I'VE_ been thru...now DO ya? All ya know `bout m' is tha'
m' parents `r dead...but, ya don' know HOW...`r WHY! Well, I'll TELL ya WHY!
`Cause _ I _ torqued some Orkan Mafioso scuz-boy off! So, he decides ta take it
out on m' ENTIRE FAMILY! M' f`ther was gunned down inna' street, `cause he
didnna' like th' idea a' his boy bein' worked o`er! M' m`ther was RAPED by
thoseBASTARDS...n' so was m' sister, Holly! M'ther had ta WATCH this! AN', there was
n`thin' she could do, when they pulled m' lil' brother outta' m' arms...an'
SLIT HIS THROAT! He was only _6 YEARS OLD_, DAMMIT! They held him there, jus'
inches outta' m' reach...an' MURDERED HIM! _I_ oculdnna' do n'thin', either,
`cause _I_ was hangin' half a meter offa' th' ground, wi' some g`ddamned Trolls
spurs thru m' g'damned BACK...n' rippin' their way out thru m' g`ddamned CHEST!
THEN...they killed m' m`ther-AFTER they violated her AGIN! THEN, those fuckin'
filthy BASTARDS tried ta murder HOLLY! I don' remember much more then tha', jus'tha' th'
smelly Squid tried ta disembowel m' , before I SOMEHOW got loose!
Fightin' mine n' Holly's way outta there cost m' my sight, too! YEAH...tha's
th' scars on m' face! NOW...b`cause a' ME...m' sweet lil' sister's inna' MENTAL
HOSPITAL....an' m' parents an' kid br`ther are DEAD, DAMMIT!!! DEAD!! CAUSA' ME!!!! An',
tha' wasna' e`en th' START a' it all! Yer so hung up on havin' been a
toy fer Th' Ancients! When she was 15, m' bes' friend was raped by someone we
trusted, one a' th' Don's men! He had been usin' her, HURTIN' HER, fer YEARS! N'she was
too scared a' him...an' ASHAMED, ta tell anyone! Till he tried ta pull
th' same shit...wi' ME! Tha's RIGHT, Roxey! See, I KNOW how it feels, ta be
USED like THA'! I KNOW!!! Frankie, she SWORE she'd n`er tell anyone! I MADE her
swear! An', she n`er did! Not e`en after tha' bloody, hoop-fraggin', g`ddamned,
m`ther-rubbin' son-offa'-slitch did it AGIN! N' I KILLED TH' FRAGGER!!! Came
righ' up b`hin' him, took `im by th' hair, n' pulled th' asswhole offa' her...
an' I SLIT th' bastard's bloody throat!! M' first kill...at age 13! An' DAMNED
proud a' tha' one, too! She n`er told! E`en then! An' no one else knows `bout itneither!
NO ONE! `Cept, now, fer YOU...an' Q.S. Slicke! Yer th' ONLY ONES,
Roxey! An', are YOU gonna' tell!?! NO...ya WON'T! `Cause ya KNOW what it's like-th'
pain...an' th' SHAME! So, ya won't tell! I KNOW ya won't!
As fer Th' Ancients...I KNOW what they did ta ya! N' I HATED Michael, fer it, tobe sure! I
hated ev`rythin' about `im! His clothes...his hair...th' way he always LEERED at ya! Th'
way he put ones like US out onna' street-corner...inna'
middle a' th' night...in th' RAIN...an' th' SNOW...ta sell `rselves ta ANY slot
who'd pay th' nuyen! No matter WHAT they were like, `r how they smelled, `r WHATthey were
inta'! No matter HOW they hurt us! I have SCARS from those years, girlScars on my arms n'
legs...one on m' chest...an' th' back a' m' neck! An', alla'those scars ya CANNA' see!
Yeah! Ya _know_ th' one's I mean! Th' ones tha' make
ya HATE yerself! An' tha' keep REMINDIN' ya a' jus' why ya DO! Th' ones tha'
tell ya tha' yer LESS than a person...tha' ya'll N`ER be more 'n an ANIMAL!
Somebody's Pleasure-beast! 'Cause tha's all ya've e`er been tol' ya were GOOD
fer! Th' ones tha' make ya sit inna' hotel room...surrounded by people callin'
themselves yer friends (some a' them e`en ARE!)...onna' tour tha's s`posed ta beyer
"big break", th' one ya've been WAITIN', alla' yer life fer, th' one tha'
makes ya feel like yer FINALLY worth SOMETHIN'...an' they make ya' sit there,
slashin' yer one meat arm ta RIBBONS, wi' a broken whiskey bottle, an' ya canna'say WHY!
THOSE scars, Roxey! See, I _KNOW_!
But, crazy as alla' this may sound...Th' Ancients were m' FRIENDS! At least,
some a' them were. One's like Jit...an' Boomer, Tellie...an' Mosk! Th' ones thashowed up,
ta watch m' race...ta cheer m' on, Roxey! Jus' `cause they were m'
TERMS! Ya didnna' know this...but, those four were behind m', allla' th' way...
when SOME thought Michael was gettin' outta' hand! When SOME wanted Michael
DEAD! An' ME, in `is place! Tha's RIGHT, Roxey! _I_ was gonna' be th' next boss
a' Th' Ancients! An', _I_ was gonna' pull alla' th' joy-kids offa' th' street!
I was gonna' make it BETTER! But, ya went ahead, an' geeked th' bastard, yerselfAn', tha'
was O.K., `cause I KNEW how ya felt! So, I figured tha' made it all
right. ~Cause, I REALLY didna' wanna' be boss, anyway! It woulda' jus' been a
real BITCH, after a while, I guess. I dunno'....but, hey...it was O.K., tha'
ya went, an' geeked Michael...`cause he was a real bastard...n' I hated him,
anyway. An', I know what yer thinkin', `bout m'! Yer thinkin' tha'...`cause I
was an Ancient...an' I gotta' stick...tha' _I_ was one a' them fraggers who
hurt ya! THA'S what yer thinkin'... But, yer WRONG, Roxey! I coulda' N`ER hurt
YA! Yeah, I think I slept wi' ya...prob`ly a COUPLA' TIMES! Prob`ly when we
were too drunk, `r high, ta remember straight! But, I _KNOW_ I n`er hurt ya!
I coulda' N`ER done tha'! S`TRUTH! NOT after what'd happened ta m' m'ther, an'
Holly, n' Frankie! N`ER! See...ev`rybody ELSE...THEY woulda' let ya alone, too...once
Michael was gone! Oh, SURE...some a' them were pretty PISSED! But, th'
rest a' th' gang coulda' handled `em! But, ya jus' couldna' leave well enough
alone, COULDJA'? Ya started geekin' guys who woulda' jus' left ya be...if ya
woulda jus' LEFT! So, NOW ya got yerself on their shit-list! I hope yer REAL
prouda' yerself, lass! 'Cause, ya've caused alotta' people a lotta' problems!
Mosk...he was so mad at seein' ya, t`other night...`cause ya waxed his lil'
br`ther...jus' fer gettin' in yer airspace! He was jus' a KID, Roxey! A DUMB,
innocent KID! But, he was wearin' th' Blue n' Green...so ya FRIED `im! I hope
yer REAL proud a' yerself! CONGRATULATIONS, Lass...ya've b`come as bad as those
"animals" ya've been huntin'! KUDOS, Kylie!]<<<<<
-THE Nexus(**:**:**/**-**-**)
