From: | Paul J. Adam Shadowtk@********.demon.co.uk |
---|---|
Subject: | Urban Warfare |
Date: | Sat, 17 Jul 1999 00:46:40 +0100 |
>>>>>[The last of my unit.
I am, truly, forsaken now. I contracted for the deaths of all my comrades.
And yet, was that any bad thing? Cholo was the only one worth a chance
of salvation, and he chose to end his own life rather than fight and live
on. The others collapsed into the cruelties we once mocked.
All three of them were killed by one young reject from the British Army.
Cholo could have killed Jules but took his own life instead. That alone
should say much.
I wish Cholo had listened to me and left the house. I admit, I miss him.
Friend, lover, commander, even before that night of fire and death in
Tacoma.
But, life goes on. Jules is an acceptable companion. Intelligent, with
enough training to be useful, and both besotted with my charms and a
competent lover. He is no dupe, but he trusts me enough to relax in my
presence. Sufficient. He knows, I am sure, that I am using him: he is
enjoying being thus used, for now.
His companion, Harold... is strange. A tiger shapeshifer: such as he seem
to gravitate to cities like Seattle. He is attracted to me, but he fears me.
He is a savage predator, yet as a human he will not kill. A being of
contradictions. Yet Jules is devoted to him, and the friendship is mutual.
I had thought them homosexual, at first, but that impression was false:
there is nothing erotic in their love for each other, and both are ardent in
their pursuit of the female. For love seems to be what it is: they know
each others' thoughts, despite being different _species_. They are all but
inseperable. Very Shakespearean.
Harold's qualms present some minor difficulty, but he is not so human that
he objects to _others_ killing: he keeps his morals to himself. Jules is not
an enthusiastic murderer, but he is willing to take the life of strangers for
enough money.
This pair show potential. I am not sure I shall stay long with them... but I
will do what I can to establish them once I leave. Absolution, perhaps, a
gesture of apology for my crimes. To leave two men I respect before I
destroy them, to establish them as men of respect... all I can do.
Cholo chose the time and place of his death, and died by his own hand.
Perhaps he was right. I have nowhere to go. Nowhere to hide.
No. I will not choose suicide. I am a magician, I can kill myself any time I
wish, and I wish to live. I have more options than the mundane. I will
fairly earn enough money, disappear from sight, and find new
employment.
I wonder if Jules will miss me when I vanish?
I wonder why I care?]<<<<<
-- Alba <00:46:42/17-07-60>