| From: | Dave The Shade <IZZYUX2@*******.BITNET> |
|---|---|
| Subject: | Your Mother |
| Date: | Fri, 10 Sep 1993 00:07:00 PDT |
Dear Mr. Markus DeVries,
I regret to inform you that your mother is a prisoner of Amazonia. The events
leading up to this are quite convoluted, nevertheless, I shall try to give you
a summary. Your mother told us this was the number to call you at in case of
emergency.
Essentially, the story is as follows. The Grand Feathered Serpent, Zequatl,
Consul to Amazonia, and Cousin to the Queen was touring in a local Seattle
mall. At which point he spotted a particularly exqusite piece of Amazonian art.
The piece had recently been purchased by your mother. He strode up and offered
to compensate her for it at twice the price. Your mother said no, in not very
flattering terms. The Consul then offered ten times the price, at which point
your mother flew nto a rage. He tried to comfort her, at which time she repeat-
edly struck him with her hand and shopping bag. International Conduct Treaty
2038 states that anyone striking or hurting a dplomat from another country
shall be tried under the laws, and in the domaine, of that country or entity.
This your mom did. She was taken to the Amazonian Consulate, charged and tried,
and found guilty. As Zequatl is a Feathered Serpent, a Royal Cousin, and
considered to be a deity in Amazonia, the penalty is Death.
Our Authority was confirmed by the UCAS State Department. I therefore regret
to inform you that your mother - Mrs. Laney DeVries is to be served as the
main appetizer for His Divine Royalty, Zequatl, three nights hence at a Royal
Banquet.
Thank you for your forbearence and have a nice day.]<<<<<
- Ettiqute Chief, Consulate of Amazonia, Seattle (23:29:47/9.9.54)
